Anger: Is it Getting Hot in Here?

I don't know about where you are at in the world, but it's sure been hot in a lot of places.  One thing that research has shown is that aggression increases with heat, and this includes violent crimes, road rage and spouse abuse.  Keep in mind, no one gets to just say, "I did it because it was hot out."  Though we know that these kinds of aggressive acts are associated with heat and hot weather, they don't excuse people from taking responsibility for their actions.  Never-the-less, the facts remain that irritability increases and tolerance for frustration goes down when it's hot out.

What many people don't realize is that both anger and anxiety activate very similar biological reactions in the body.  Both activate the sympathetic nervous system, which is the system responsible for the "fight-or-flight" reaction.  That means that both anger and anxiety trigger all of the following in the body:  increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, rapid or shallow breathing, muscle tension, sweating, trembling or shaking, dry mouth, increased alertness, restlessness, and even a surge of energy.

Just like with anxiety, the full reaction to anger can depend on how a situation is being interpreted.  With anxiety, we can misinterpret a situation as more dangerous than it really is, and so too with anger, we can interpret a situation as more threatening than it factually is.  For instance, being cut off in traffic can lead to a belief that the other driver "did that on purpose" and "threatened your safety" and therefore the reaction can be one of road rage.  One could just as easily see it as a time to tap on the brake a little and give the other person some room to go on their way.  Just like with anxiety, the severity of our biological symptoms can depend greatly on the accuracy of our perception and belief about what is happening in the present moment.  Faulty thinking styles sneak in no matter if we are anxious or angry, they can feed the severity of fight-or-flight symptoms.

When temperatures rise there are plenty of things you can do to try to avoid anger and outbursts.  First of all, it's important to address the biological need to stay cool, which can directly address the discomfort that can lead to irritability.  If you are prone to anger, try to stay hydrated in the hot summer months. Move indoors to air-conditioned settings and drink cool fluids or try a cool shower.  If those are not possible you can try to cool the hands by running them under cold water.  Make sure you at least get some breaks from the heat by getting indoors or into some shade.

In addition, monitor yourself for early warning signs of agitation.  Notice if you are starting to get impatient, clenching your fists, raising your voice, or just feeling on edge. 

Since anger and anxiety use the same response system, you can reduce your symptoms of anger in the same way you can reduce your symptoms of anxiety.  Slow abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, challenging your faulty thinking style, and reinterpreting the situation in more rational and realistic terms.

Anger and anxiety are very difference emotions, but they also have a lot in common and once you understand one of these emotions, you are already very informed about ways to cope with them both.

"Anxiety and Anger are two sides of the same coin"     Anonymous

Thanks to Ryan Summers for the great photos, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Assertiveness: The "Fight" in Fight-or-Flight

The "fight" part of the fight-or-flight response produces a lot of adrenaline, since it was originally meant to provide the biological strength to attempt to survive a real life-threatening event.  But in our modern world, what we perceive as danger is a little different now than it might have been in our early human history.  

In today's modern world it feels scary just to assert ourselves to ask for a raise, say what we want and need, and speak our mind or have our voice. 

That's why assertiveness is so important and why it's as equally important to recognize that the raised symptoms of anxiety when asserting ourselves are fairly normal, especially when we are first learning to assert ourselves, and practicing ways to stand our ground.  

On one end of the scale is passivity, in which we might fall silent and do or say nothing to defend ourselves in social and professional setting.  The far other extreme is aggression, in which we may over-do it and fall into the angry trap of yelling, using aggressive body language, and even becoming physically abusive.  

Somewhere in the middle ground is assertiveness, in which we use our best relaxation techniques to stay calm, while also standing firm.  At these times our body may fear "attack", which basically means an aggressive response, or something that just feels potentially dangerous, and may either be life-threateningly dangerous, or is perceived that way.

Assertiveness has four basic parts to it, and all are best presented with "I" statements.  These include:  "What I think", "What I feel", "What I want", and "What I need".  Before practicing assertiveness, it's good to remind yourself that you may not get what you want or need in the end, as others have the right to say no or disagree with you.  But expressing your view and feelings and asking for what you want and need can many times lead to a good response that turns things in the right direction, and is a far better reply than passivity or aggression.

When first practicing assertiveness you may experience many of the usual symptoms of anxiety.  Shortness of breath, sweaty palms, increased heart rate, tense muscles, and shakiness. But the "fight" of fight-or-flight helps you to stand in the midst of these symptoms, and relaxation techniques will be your friends to power through it.

Very key during assertive encounters is to relax your stomach muscles.  This helps to lower your diaphragm and allow more oxygen into the lower third of the lungs.  A tight stomach is an old human response to danger, and raises the diaphragm which produces short and shallow breathing more familiar to running.  Practicing slow abdominal breathing prior to an assertive encounter can help create this more relaxed stance.

And practice is your friend.  If you are asking for a raise, confronting a renter for payment, or asking a roommate to do their fair share of chores, practice on paper and also practice out loud so you can hear yourself saying the words you need to say.  Make sure you are doing all you can to use "I" statements.  You may not do this perfectly at first, but when you fall into the pattern of using "you" statements (i.e., you never take your turn doing dishes, you're always late paying the rent, or you don't appreciate me as an employee), you put the other person on defense, and from there the communication can fall apart.

Always practice and follow the key steps to standing your ground, rather than falling passive:  1) What I think:  "I think it's important that the chores be fair to avoid any feelings of resentment.", 2) What I feel: "And I am feeling some resentment as I've been doing the dishes more often lately." 3) What I want:  "I want us to get along and have a fair relationship". 4) What I need:  "I need to know that the chore of doing the dishes is actually going to be split 50/50 so I don't feel so resentful all the time".

In this example there might be a certain level of anxiety that the other person might get upset, begin to yell, deny not doing their fair share, or argue they do plenty of other things, so should not have to agree to your request.  This is the second layer of assertiveness training.  The response.  

Preparing for various responses is also a good thing to consider.  Knowing what it is you actually want and need in the end is important.  For instance, in this case if you truly want you and another person to split doing dishes 50/50, you will prepare to answer when the defense comes that they do other things they feel buy them out of their half of doing dishes.  Working to not allow topics to get off track, it's okay to agree to discuss the other chore another time, and stay focused on the topic at hand.  "I'm willing to discuss those other chose another time, but for now I'd like to just talk about the fair division of doing the dishes."

Assertiveness does not have to turn in to aggression, and it doesn't have to lead to fights.  But that is the fear and it's why it involves a certain level of anxiety symptoms familiar to the "flight" in the fight-or-flight response.  It's also why many people tend to fall into passivity instead, but passivity is a slow erosion of your sense of self, your confidence, and only leads to resentment that eats your up from the inside out.

Assertiveness takes practice.  You won't be a pro at it overnight.  It takes some time to study it, practice it, put it on paper, then give it a try in a few safe situations.  It has a very close connection to your self-esteem, which really just asks how much you value yourself.  When we value something, we take good care of it, have boundaries and rules around it, protect it and insist other do the same.  It's not about being aggressive and demanding, and it's not about falling silent and hanging onto resentment.  Assertiveness is a skill that you can develop over time, and in the end, it has the tremendous potential to lower symptoms of anxiety.

You can find three prior blog entries I've done talking about Abdominal Breathing and how much it helps to lower symptoms of anxiety, here, here, and here.

"Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women."     ~Maya Angelou

Thanks to Mark Freeth for the great image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Hiking for Stress Management

It's a well-known fact that exercise releases "feel good" chemicals in the body and calms the nervous system by reducing cortisol (stress hormone) levels.  So it shouldn't be surprising that hiking qualifies as an item to place on your top 5 list of stress management practices for reducing stress and finding a more well-balanced life.

Not only is it peaceful to spend time in nature, but the environments where most hiking takes place are typically filled with beauty, earth smells, chances to see a little bit of wildlife, and definitely puts each of us back in touch with something we are a part of at the core--Mother Earth.

And if you are looking for a way to take electronic gadget breaks, hiking is a great way to get away from your computer and the prolonged sitting involved with dedicated work at your screens.  Research shows that prolonged sitting is associated with early death, cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, neck and lower back pain, and poor circulation.  Hiking gives you a reason to shut off your devices, put them away, and enjoy the delightful stimulation of the senses.  The body needs movement, the eyes need to focus on things farther away than a computer screen, the ears need to hear nature sounds, the lungs need the exercise and fresh air, and we all need reminders that we are not machines.  We are creatures on this planet just like all of the other creatures on this planet.  Our modern devices are here to assist us, not confine us.

Most of all, hiking is a Mindfulness practice.  It can bring you right into the present moment and wake up the senses.  While hiking you may notice the sound of water, birds, wind in the trees, and the feel of fresh air on your skin.  Walking in sunlight or rain, the benefits of hiking are the same.  The body remembers where it comes from, and that it is a part of something more than four walls and telephones aps.

Hiking doesn't have to be elaborate.  You don't have to make plans for a week-long, deep forest submersion.  Many towns have local hikes within minutes of town.  Some inner-city parks have hiking trails built right into them, and some of the best town parks have enough hiking trails and paths to make for a good hiking adventure.  So don't let distance stop you.  Hiking is still readily available at no, or very low cost, and seeking it out is well worth your Stress Management time.

You can find my previous May 2025 blog entry about the benefits of Forest Bathing here 

"It had nothing to do with gear or footwear or the backpacking fad of any particular era.  It had to do with how it felt to be in the wild."       ~Cheryl Strayed

Thanks to Intermountain Forest Service, USDA Region 4 Photograpy for the great photo taken at Wasatch-Cache National Forest, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/deed.en

Artemis II: A Reminder of the Power of Mindfulness

Every now and then humanity is reminded of what it is outside of the borders, wars, and problems it has created for itself.  The recent Artemis II space flight mission around the moon was just such a reminder in which one of the astronauts, Christina Koch said, "There are no lines." Meaning, what she saw of us from space is oceans, weather systems, and no borders.  A complete whole.  One.

The mission was something the world's population have been needing, to remind us of how deeply we've become engrossed in our petty systemic bickering and violence toward one another, and how much we've forgotten who we really are on what Carl Sagan called, "a pale blue dot".

Out here in the vast universe, our existence is something to behold.  We can choose to live in awe or we can bury our heads in the sand of chaos and never look up until our last breath, when we may find ourselves wondering what we missed.

When stress is part of our everyday lives we may not look up at the sky for days, weeks or even months until some spectacular sunrise or sunset catches our eye, or we find ourselves outside under a star-filled sky on some wonderful summer's evening and are reminded of what Victor Glover described as this "oasis" called Earth, floating out in space.

Mindfulness practices help us come back to just what is happening right this minute.  The heartbeat, sounds, the feel of the temperature, the taste of things, the smell of things, and what the glorious human eye is seeing.  Even if it sees darkness.

The difference between humans that are going through this one precious life asleep and those going through it awake, is that those who are awake, are aware.  It's the difference between being on this planet and functioning, and being on this planet and functioning while fully "aware" that one is on this planet and functioning.

The crew of Artemis II were probably four of the most aware human beings on and off the planet recently.  Literally thrust into awareness by the strike of the universal Zen Master's stick, who called them to the full attention of reality.  On return they expressed their awe and heightened view of the oneness of who we all are.  Reminding us that our imaginary borders are in the way of our attempts to wake up, and they can't be seen from the vastness of space.

Does that mean that our everyday battles and hardships are not real?  No, but it does mean that waking up is important.  Staying mindful matters.  Not getting lost in this chaotic world so much that you forget who you are and what you are a part of.

Mindfulness practices are not just a fad.  They are a practice and a discovery that can benefit you and your relationships, as well as your community, country and the planet.  It's about the hope that as many people as possible, on this pale blue dot, will be both awake and aware.  In this way the Earth and the living things that make it what it is, will be a system of self-care and not one of self-destruction.

"It's a special thing to be a human and it's a special thing to be on planet Earth."  Reid Wiseman (Artemis II Mission Commander).

Thanks to NASA for the great image from the Orion spacecraft 2026

Feeling Powerless: Stress and the Way out of Helplessness

I'm hearing from a lot of people lately about how powerless they feel about current events.  Be it the wars around the world, or the economy, or loss of confidence in leadership, the general consensus is that many feel, "There's nothing I can do about it."  Which reminds me of a term I explained a lot in the early years of my career in counseling while doing my practicum in a college campus counseling center using biofeedback machines to help people learn to regulate their stress response.  That term is, Learned Helplessness.

The term was coined by Martin Seligman in the 1960's based on research he did with Steven Maier, which basically found that if we come to believe we are helpless over a situation, we begin to give up.  The research helped us learn a lot about depression in particular, and why symptoms of depression worsen when we feel there is "nothing we can do" to change or help ourselves or a situation.  Anxiety and depression tend to go hand in hand because the more powerless one feels about their anxiety, the more likely they are to also have some level of depression.

But there is an even older concept than Learned Helplessness in my field of study that was around long before I even saw my first client.  It's a term that was popular in addiction recovery circles but applied to many areas of personal growth and self-discovery.  The phrase was created by a religious man, Reinhold Reinbuhr, a theologian who had written it into one of his sermons.   But you don't have to be a religious person to see it has great psychological meaning and truth to it:  "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

The phrase urges us to seek serenity (a state of peacefulness and calm tranquility) in knowing when something is beyond our control.  It's bigger than us, and no matter how hard we might try, we are not going to be able to move it in any direction.  But the second part--the part about finding the courage to change the things we can?  That's a little bit harder.  Probably even harder than the third part of the phrase, which is the wisdom to know the difference between the two, which is hard enough in itself.

Now here is where the two phrases and lessons come together:   It's one thing to realize what we are powerless over, and another thing to overlook that we are not powerless over everything.  There can also be a hidden belief in one's mind that they are also powerless over their ability to have courage to change the things they still have power to change in this world.  Cognitively, if we fall prey to Learned Helplessness, and take the bait of believing we have no power to make changes in the world, then feelings of helplessness and hopelessness get their teeth in, and the giving up begins.  The hopelessness and helplessness get in through the cracks.

Let's look at an example:  Say you are realizing that global pollution is far beyond your personal capacity to change.  You see it, realize it, know it's bigger than you and you begin to let go.  The serenity comes from finding peace in knowing that, though you don't like it very much, you can accept that it's beyond what you could ever do in the days you have left on this planet.  So yes, you give up on any grandiose belief that you could ever single-handedly accomplish such a thing.  Letting go of such an unrealistic expectation is just good self-care.

Yet, that doesn't mean you give up on everything, or on seeing what you can do.  You can't single-handedly save the whole planet, and not even the country you live in.  Nor can you save the entire state or area you reside in.  But if you pull it in closer to home, you might be able to begin seeing something within reach in your own town, community, neighborhood, or possibly just within your own home.  This is the "wisdom to see the difference".

Accepting what you cannot change also helps you begin to see what you can change.  But many of us tend to feel that's not good enough.  We want something bigger.  Grander.  Something that fixes the big problem we already admitted we can't fix.  So it's important to scale it down and accept that your small part matters.  And if it's all each of us can do, then think of how important it is to urge others to do their part.  That is something you are capable of!

It's okay to believe you really are helpless over things far beyond your capacity.  But it doesn't mean you have no power, and it doesn't mean you are helpless over everything.  The wisdom to know the difference is where you can get your power back.  Accepting the smaller scale things that are within your reach really does matter.  This is the part that takes courage.  Moving the desire for a better world into action.

And yes!  We can do better.  We have the capacity as a whole to do better.  Each and every one of us!  And though we are helpless over some large-scale things, we are not helpless over everything.  It takes courage to see that and act nonviolently, and with peace as the ultimate goal.

You can read more about practice and determination in my June 2023 blog entry here

"Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'."     ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Thans to John Morton for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Falling Well: Finding your ability to Cope under pressure

Who are you when the going gets rough?  And are you prepared if life gets even rougher?  How will you handle it?  What will you discover about yourself?

We actually have no idea what version of ourselves we will discover in a given situation until we are actually in it.  Will we be brave?  Or run like hell?  And will we be able to tell if and when either one of those responses is or was the right one for us personally.

Catastrophic Thinking is one of the ways we walk ourselves right into a mental corner and become convinced that under certain circumstances we won't be able to cope with a given situation if it were to occur.  We say to ourselves, "I won't be able to handle it."  "That will be too much for me."  "I'm sure that would be the point of no return."  "I can't do it."

One method for countering this kind of thinking is to "decatastrophize" the situation by using a few thought experiments in which you walk a little farther into the situation in your mind and imagine that instead of being paralyzed into inaction, you find your way out.  In other words, rather than allowing your mind to just shut down at the thought of imagining the worse-case scenario, to instead visualize seeing yourself handling the situation to the best of your ability.  Even if it means hardship.

With Catastrophic Thinking we tend to overestimate danger, and underestimate our ability to cope with it.  For instance, as we age we might become fearful of falling.  This can lead to an overestimation of how bad a fall would be, how much damage might come from such a fall, and an underestimation of our ability to handle both the fall and any injuries that might come from the fall.  But a thought experiment, including information about the ways athletes fall and martial artists learn to roll or prevent injury during falls, can give us material to come back to our thinking and imagine a way in which we might cope much better during a fall than we ever imagined.  The Catastrophic thought can be decatastrophized and you create a way in your mind's-eye to see yourself "falling well".  And not only falling well, but recovering from any fall injury, well.

Decatastrophizing includes avoiding the overestimation of danger by looking at our fears more realistically.  This can be used in any number of situations in life where we can reinterpret the situation and see a more realistic view with possibilities and better outcomes.  It also means a more realistic look at our ability to cope in life, based on our history, skills, advanced reasoning, and a better estimation of our ability to stay in the game and cope well in many situations.

Take a look at your most frequent recurring fears and ask yourself if you are overestimating the danger and underestimating your ability to cope.  Rather than continuing to fall into the Catastrophic trap of believing you cannot ever allow bad things to happen because you wouldn't be able to handle it, try on the thought experiment of decatastrophizing the situation in your mind.  It makes all of the difference in the world between becoming paralyzed with fear, and pushing your comfort zone.  

You can read more about Catastrophic Thinking and Faulty Thinking Styles from my March, 2018 blog entry here

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do"     ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Thanks to Lisa Ann Yount for the great image, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/deed.en

The Moving Mind: How we see the World

There is an interesting Zen story about two monks who are looking up at a flagpole. It goes something like this:  "Two monks spend two months looking up at a flagpole as part of their practice.  One says, "The flag is moving."  The other says, "The wind is moving."  They argue back and forth, unable to agree.  When the Zen master walks by, she says, "Neither the flag nor the wind is moving.  Your mind is moving."

There are many versions of this story, but the general interpretation, meaning or lesson is similar in all.  That we are so busy wanting to explain things and have a solid answer, and then defend that view or belief, that we actually miss the present moment and remain unable to see that it's the internal filter of our own minds that make our particular and personal reality what it is.  So attached to our own judgments, interpretations, opinions, views, and expectations, we miss what is really there, right now.  

Your mind is moving.

Where can we see these similar lessons in life?  Two people arguing over how to make the brownies.  Walnuts or no walnuts?  Both missing the reality of their moment together, alive and breathing. Or how about two owners of the same pet arguing over how to have the dog groomed.  Short or with design?  Both missing the potential of a co-created event, and instead miffed about the outcomes.  Then there is the local politics.  Two parties arguing over how to use the town funding.  Invest in local ponds or build a new shooting range?  Each sure of their stance and all missing the opportunity for real compromise in the present.  Finally, what about the warring countries?  Each defending their personal view, politics, or religion, and overlooking the destruction of bombs on an already dying and environmentally threatened planet they share.

It was the American Zen teacher, Joko Beck, author of Everyday Zen and Nothing Special, who wrote about how it is our minds that create suffering and separation, and she spoke at length about how we humans can be so cruel and harmful to one another since we all judge and react from that place of the moving mind.  That internal filter we are so attached to and so defensive of.  Not one of us is free of this human flaw.  But we can get a little better over time if we realize the Zen master was right.  "Your mind is moving".  It's not a good or bad thing.  It's just something to notice and pay attention to.

When it comes to things like depression or anxiety, even anger or resentment, we could say, don't blame the flag or the wind.  Look instead to your one moving mind.  What is it doing?  How is it hanging on to its own view, its own belief system, its own judgment about your depression or anxiety?  Look for the purest awareness of reality you can find.  We could argue at length about the causes of these as well as anger and resentment.  But what is real?  What is opinion?  What is belief?  What is actually happening?  Do you truly know?  You can theorize it's the traffic or your irritation with your spouse, but if you pause you can try one step further in looking with your purest mind's awareness and see that no matter the cause, your mind is having its say about it.

Sometimes we interpret situations as more dangerous than they really are.  This sends messages to the body that there is danger when there isn't and the body reacts.  Sometimes we see things happening in the world and tell ourselves, "It's all hopeless", when it isn't.  This sends messages to the body to give up, and it reacts.  We can look out at our country today and see the behavior of fellow citizens and we create a story in our head.  "It's the flag moving", or "It's the wind".  But don't forget what makes those views your own.  Your Mind is Moving

You can read more about mindsets and cognitive restructuring in one of my earlier blog entries from February 2020 here

"Anxiety is always a gap between the way things are and the way we think they ought to be"     Joko Beck

Thanks to Kitty Terwolbeck for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Holiday Stress and Spending Less

One of the most stressful things many of us encounter in life is that of financial worry.  The only things found to be more stressful are work and health issues.  According to economist Mark Zandi, as of August 2025, 22 US states were found to already be in a recession, and 13 others are almost in the same basket.  Which is why this month's post is about ways to really consider giving yourself a break financially this holiday season, and allow yourself to find ways to take the pressure off the annual push to spend more than necessary.

A familiar family traditions that aids the whole clan in spending less during the holidays is the drawing of names for buying gifts.  Yes, it's true, you won't get a pile of gifts to open, but everyone gets a nice gift while also only needing to buy one present for the individual whose name they drew.  No, it's not depressing and what a nice relief for everyone involved who can put the pocket book away or have a few dollars left to participate in giving in smaller ways elsewhere.

Which brings us to the next concept for saving money during the holidays, and that is asking family and guests to participate in providing the make-up of the holiday meal.  Creating a potluck out of it brings in a wide variety of dishes, gives everyone something more they can do after buying their one gift, and gives the host a break financially, while divvying up the work of putting on a holiday event so everyone can equally enjoy the festivities.

An additional money-saver is to consider staying local for the holidays.  Cutting out the expense of travel, be it by airline or car, can keep needed money in the bank for personal needs at home, such as the higher grocery costs right now and the need to preserve funds for any future expenses that might arise in the new year such as car repairs, unexpected home needs, or costs for the predicted rise in healthcare expenses coming in 2026.

Thrift stores are also a great place to find things that are of good quality, reusable, and interchangeable, meaning you can donate them back and buy again next year at reasonable prices, such as ornaments, artificial trees, electric lights, and gift cards.  But thrift stores these days hold so much more promise in that many nearly new items can be found that also make for great gifts for loved ones and friends, and help the environment by not participating in the constant need for materials for more products.

It's also helpful to not fall into the "must" or the "should" trap during the holidays in which you buy into false beliefs that everything must be perfect and no one should go without top-cost items.  The holidays have a lot of potential completely outside of money and purchases.

So, give yourself a break this year, and give those around you a break as well by simplifying things and reducing the financial pressure to break the bank and stretch the wallet beyond its means in an already strained economy.  Take a breath and let this year capture a simpler concept of the holiday season that doesn't leave you and those around you paying for it for months to come.

You can find another one my older blog entries about finding ways to reduce holiday stress here

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."     ~Oprah Winfrey

Thanks to David Geitgey Sierralupe for the great photo (cropped and reversed), https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Reducing Anxiety and Stress with Assertiveness

It's just natural that wise plants will make attempts to stretch their roots and limbs to gather the things they need to survive, and humans will do the same.  No matter the things needed being the sun and water, or just a sense of peace and sustenance.  Living things want to thrive.

But just as a poorly laid out garden can oppress some plants and rob them of enough nutrients and humidity, so too our human-made systems can rob us of the things we need to grow.  That is why learning assertiveness skills is one of the most powerful ways to face symptoms of anxiety and stress, which are frequently the result of oppression. 

Assertiveness can be learned, practiced, and implemented through four areas:  What I think.  What I feel.  What I want.  What I need.  As you can see, each statement is an "I" statement, because a "you" statement only puts others on the defense.  This direct form of communication states how you see things, how you feel about the things you see, what your general goal or want is, and finally, asking for something you need from others in order to get that goal reached.  It doesn't mean that you will always get what you want, but it is the "action" of asserting for what you want and need.

Assertiveness falls at the center between "passive" and "aggressive".  So instead of staying silent about not getting a raise from your boss in a while, or turning aggressive toward your partner for some habit they continue to do, assertiveness falls in the middle ground where direct communication takes place, using I statements only, and making a good attempt at getting the things you need to thrive.

Though assertiveness falls on the "fight" side of the fight-or-flight response, it doesn't mean you are fighting.  But it does mean you are standing your ground as opposed to falling passive or fleeing a situation.  So yes, it may raise your anxiety level a bit as cortisol steroids will be pumped into your system a bit for any "fight" situation.  But the big difference is that assertiveness brings short-term stress to the body for the duration of the assertive action, whereas staying passive will lead to prolonged stress to your entire system, and aggression may have a temporary outburst but the stress trigger is never solved, so anger will come again and again.  In the long run, asserting oneself is very good for stress reduction and can solve many problems that lead to prolonged and chronic stress.

We can learn a lot from going out into nature and seeing how the plants thrive.  They know what sustenance they need and they strive to get those things.  They turn their leaves to the sun, they stretch toward water sources, they capture things in their limbs and pull in every element they can find that will help them thrive.  We are really no different.  Given that the oppressive systems around us are not so suffocating that they keep us even from our right to assert ourselves, we can strive for the things we want and need that will bring us a peaceful environment where everything in our life's-garden can grow.

For more info about stress reduction, you can find one of my prior blog entries about the relaxing quality of Nature here

"The greatest threat to our planet is the belief that someone else will save it"     ~Robert Swan

Thanks to Cecily Miller for the great photos,  https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Hot Springs in Colorado: Submerging in the Relaxation of the Rockies

When it comes to relaxation, soaking in natural hot springs is top on the list for enhancing wellness and stress reduction.  And there is no better state in the country than Colorado to find an abundance of these wonderful hot springs.  

Colorado has a long history of drawing the attention of those who seek out and enjoy some of the most unique and lovely mineral springs in the country.  We have Glenwood Springs just across the street from the historic Colorado Hotel, and the beautiful Pagosa Springs, which boasts of 52 soaking pools and cold plunges.

You can find many of the best hot springs Colorado has to offer by traveling the Colorado Hot Springs Loop, which is an 800-mile stretch of 23 different hot springs soaking locations.   Anywhere along the way you can rest your weary bones and rejuvenate your body and mind.

So why is it that soaking in some of these great water sources is so good for relaxing and healing the human body?  

Well, the hot springs contain minerals from the rocks they pass through and as long as the water is of tolerable temperature for the human body, it helps to relax muscles and tendons to promote healing.  

Use of hot springs all over the world traces back thousands of years and in our modern world it is a lucrative industry centering on tourism, rehabilitation clinics, and spas.

You can find my previous blog entry from 2018 about soaking in hot springs here, where I provide a list of 30 different Colorado Hot Springs you can try.

If you are unable to find a way to get to some of these great locations, then soaking in a hot bath at home is still worth its weight in gold.  You can find my prior blog entry from 2015 about the great benefits of soaking in a hot bath here.  

And don't forget to look around for one of many mineral products you can safely add to your bath water, which can bring some of the benefits of natural hot spring water right to your home.

"It's Hot Springs o'clock somewhere"

What Meditation Is and Is Not.

Knowing what meditation is and is not can help you develop a good meditation practice with realistic expectations.

What meditation is not:  

Meditation is not a technique used to get us into some sort of emotional state.  So if you are trying to get out of anger, or into a steady attitude of joy, meditation is not the way.  It's not a form of escapism in which you can run away from your addictions, boss, annoyances, or problems.  It's also not meant to put an end to your ruminations, although it probably can help with them, that's not the aim.  It's not therapy in that if you sit down and meditate your problems will begin to resolve themselves from the effort.  So don't assume meditation will bring that your way, either.  And meditation is not a religion, although it can be practiced by individuals from a wide range of various religious beliefs.

There are plenty of ways to rest, relax, and find leisure, but these are not meditation, either.  A guided imagery exercise is nice and even enjoyable and entertaining, but it is not meditation.  So a "guided meditation" is a little misleading and leaves you vulnerable to the decisions, directions, and reality of someone else.  It also keeps you from being aware of your true present moment, unless you just want to be aware of your relaxing and entertaining guided imagery, which is perfectly fine, but it's not meditation.

What meditation is:

Meditation is best thought of as ways in which you practice staying mindful, which means you are aware of the present moment as it is, not as it once was or how you want it to be.  So it is a state of awareness and many meditation techniques are those that help you stay present and aware of your moment-to-moment existence in this life.

When you hear someone say they have meditation as a "practice" it means they are literally practicing mindfulness and possibly using mindfulness techniques to do that, and the reason this is important is because humans have a tendency to miss out on reality itself because they are either dwelling on the past and ruminating about the things that have already been, or they are worried and anxious about the future and those things that have not ever actually happened.  

For instance, if you drive to the grocery store and upon arrival can't really recall all the traffic lights and things you saw along the way because you spent the drive angry about the thing your boss said yesterday, or you were busy ruminating about something a friend said about something you did or said, or your mind was focused on and worried about some upcoming event next week, then you actually missed out on that entire drive that was a part of your real and actual moment-to-moment life.  

But with practice, we can all get much better over time at being present for our lives and actually aware of the goings-on, the things sensed, the people coming in and out of our awareness, that series of traffic lights on the way to the store, and the true reality of every moment of our very short and limited precious lives.

So meditation is not the things that help us escape reality and the present moment, but it is awareness itself of the present moment.  So if you are using the present moment to escape reality, you are not meditating, but if you are fully present then your meditation is sound.

You can find some great guidance as a beginner in this wonderful book by Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

Meditation is not really about seeking relaxation, but it does help with relaxation by bringing your mind to the present and pulling it away from future oriented worry which produces stress.  You can find my prior blog entry about the ways meditation helps with relaxation here 

"Just being in the moment in this place is the deepest practice of meditation"     ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Thanks to luckey_sun for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

How Bike Riding Helps with Stress

Maybe it's been a while since you've hopped on a bicycle and gone for a leisurely ride.  But there are many reasons to consider it as one of your many forms of exercise, and one of those reasons is the way it relaxes the body and can help reduce stress, anxiety, and even depression.

Among the many reasons bike riding is so good for your mental and physical well-being is that it reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), and releases endorphins (the feel-good hormone), while physically, your heart, lungs and blood vessels all get a good workout.

According to the League of American Bicyclists, riding a bike has many benefits to one's mental health including stress relief, mood improvement, and improved mental clarity.  You can find their article about the 5 Mental Health Benefits of Riding Your Bike here 

If you are older, it's also a good idea to keep in mind that bike riding is not just for kids.  If you are worried about injury or discomfort, consider the following tips for older bike riders:  Always wear a helmet, wear bright reflective clothing so you can be seen, go in the same direction as the traffic, get a bike that fits you for comfort, stay hydrated, follow all the same rules that apply to cars, don't go faster than feels comfortable, choose bike routes that have bike lanes, and never assume a driver sees you (make sure to make eye contact with them so you know they see you).  You can find a wonderful video about an 80yr old cyclist named Wendy Skean from Nathrop Colorado here, and though you don't have to be as ambitious as she is or win medals like she does, it should inspire you to know that you are never too old to get out and pedal a bike.

You can find my previous blog entry Reducing Stress by Going for a Bike Ride here 

"You are one ride away from a good mood"     ~Sarah Bentley

Thanks to Esteban Chiner for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Suffering: Learning to Sit in the Discomfort of Temporary Feelings

According to the philosophy of Buddhism, one of the Four Noble Truths is that all of life is suffering.  Or better put, suffering is just a part of life.  But you might say you have good and happy days, so not "all" of life is suffering.  But the idea is that if you think those good and happy days will last, you will suffer.  Reality will wake you to the fact that all things constantly change (which is another of the Four Noble Truths), and that even good and happy days will change.  So learning to sit with suffering is a skill that can lower anxiety and stress, which is related to our faulty beliefs that life should be good all the time.  In fact, another of the Four Noble truths is that suffering can end when we stop hanging on to such beliefs that life should have no suffering, or if it does have suffering, we should be exempt from it and have a way out.

Now, this doesn't mean we should go around seeking things to suffer about.  Nor does it mean we should try to find joy in suffering, or pretend it's not really true suffering.  But the idea behind learning to sit with suffering when it occurs is to help us see that we can be present even when things aren't going so swell.  It also helps us see that suffering doesn't last any more than happiness does.  They both occur, but nothing (not even joy or sadness), lasts indefinitely.

For example, when a person is trying to break a bad habit, such as drinking, they may find that when cravings come, they are suffering.  To run from the suffering they might reach for alcohol or other substances to try to make the discomfort stop.  But if an individual can learn to sit in the discomfort instead, they will eventually see that cravings don't last, and so the suffering doesn't either.  But if we try to run from the reality of life's discomforts, we only get even more uncomfortable and suffer even more.

So too, when we experience anxiety it's also a good idea to try to decipher if it's the kind of anxiety that just comes with life, or if it is excessive anxiety.  If it is normal to feel anxiety about a particular event in life, then trying to escape it might not be the best answer.  Avoidant behavior and isolation can prevent the realization that anxiety doesn't last any more than relaxation does.  Therefore, trying small steps towards exposing oneself to the stressful life event is good medicine.  Taken in small steps, one can learn to face some of the more anxiety provoking things that come with life.  

One of the things that Buddhists learn from practicing meditation is that sitting for prolonged periods of time is actually very difficult.  Your legs fall asleep.  Your back hurts.  Your seat hurts.  You want to scratch an itch on your nose but are encouraged to not move.  And so suffering is in full force.  But what happens is that the meditator learns that when the final bell rings to signal that the round of meditation is over, everything changes, and the question is... did the practitioner miss the whole thing because they were only focused on how to escape all of that suffering?  Or were they sitting in the discomfort as a practice in the present moment of what was really happening.  In only the latter case does one learn to accept that life is not all happiness and comfort, nor should it be.

If we spend most of our life trying to escape suffering, we don't really experience life itself, because as was said at the start of this article... reality is full of suffering.  It's a part of what life is.  Running from suffering is what substance abuse, over-spending, over-eating, gambling, excessive sex, and many other behaviors looks like.  But all of these just lead to more awareness of the facts of life.  That it's going to keep changing, and it's going to be full of many moods, many feelings, many events, and none will be permanent.

Anything we want to do to make improvements in our lives will come with some form of suffering.  It's up to us if we want to perfect our skill of studying suffering and what we are like when in it, or if we want to perfect our skill of pretending we can escape the sufferings that come with human life and live in the false belief that we should be exempt from that reality.

You can find my previous blog entery about learning to accept things as they are, rather than always wanting them to be other than what they really are here.

"It's not impermanence that makes us suffer.  What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not."     ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Thanks to Brett Jordan for the great image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Abdominal Breathing: Your Number One Tool for Fighting Stress

This month marks the achievement of 10 years for this blog and to celebrate we'll travel back in time to the very first blog entry in March of 2015 where we looked at the importance of abdominal breathing in the reduction of stress and anxiety.  You can find that blog entry here

There are so many good things that come from learning and practicing slow, relaxed, abdominal breathing that once you've experienced the benefits, you will keep this technique close at hand to help you in any stressful situation that leads to increased anxiety.

The benefits of abdominal breathing are plentiful.  On top of decreasing muscle tension, it lowers your blood pressure and heart rate, which are two of the most common symptoms experienced by individuals who have panic and anxiety disorders.  It also reduces the stress response and lowers the levels of cortisol steroids in the body, which tend to flood the system when a stress response is present.

In addition, slow relaxed breathing releases endorphins, the feel-good chemicals that relieve pain, reduce stress, and improve mood.  It also helps to reduce insomnia and improve sleep, as well as improve overall energy.  This kind of breathing helps get more oxygen to the lower third of the lungs, which helps overall bodily functioning, muscle tension, and getting needed oxygen into the tissues.

All of the benefits mentioned here are why most people turn to slow abdominal breathing as the first- choice method for reducing symptoms of panic, anxiety, and stress.  It requires no pills, gadgets, tools, or devices and costs nothing at all.  It is readily available and can become your number one mindfulness exercise with the fastest results.

So, using the link above, travel back to the first entry of this blog from ten years ago and see what you can do with your breathwork.  It's one way to gain more control over your symptoms and see for yourself the results of slowing your breathing.  

"Breathing in I calm my body.  Breathing out, I smile."     ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Thanks to karoly czifra for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Stress Free Realistic Goals

It's a new year and maybe you made all sorts of resolutions in hopes of bettering your life.  It's never a bad idea to have good intentions for the future, especially if they mean growth and self-improvement.  Exercise, weight loss and improving one's diet are all at the top of the list each year for most people. In fact, the month with the highest number of new gym memberships is January. 

But statistics also reveal that only 25% of people who make these resolutions are still actually committed to the task after just one month, and January is also the month with the highest number of gym membership cancellations.  So yes, you heard that right.  It all happens that fast.  We see the new year coming, and the gyms see it too.  So they offer lots and lots of deals in December while everyone is buying gifts and wanting to set new goals.

That means at the writing of this blog entry in late January, 2025, you and many others like you are already losing your mojo and maybe even wanting your membership refunded.  You could be losing your drive for many other kinds of goals you set for yourself at the start of the new year.  

So what happens that causes many of us to get that inspirational drive to see the changes we want to make, set the goals and put things in place to reach them, but then lose whatever that energy was that set a fire under us to being with?

If you needed to climb a tall staircase and while standing at the bottom you focused only on that top step, you might lose your desire to begin the climb in the first place.  But if you divided the staircase into parts and set 4 different goals, the task might seem a little simpler if you only looked up that staircase 4 steps at a time.  Goal one is to reach step four, goal two is to reach step eight, goal three is to reach step twelve and the final goal is to reach the last step at the top.

Our new resolutions and goals can be seen this way in that if all we see is the final weight loss goal, or the final change we want to see (overnight) in our diet plan, or the newly changed exercise plan we want our body to be doing in the next 24 hours, then of course we can become discouraged fast as we discover, change doesn't come that fast.  Change takes time and any situation we are in today took a long time to reach.  So it will take time to change as well.

If you are reaching the end of January and already feeling discouraged about your new goals, rather than label the whole task as a failure, consider the idea of regrouping and restarting with a new approach.  Break the task down into smaller sections with each section being its own goal.  Rather than an entire diet change (overnight), consider adding or subtracting one thing you'd like to try to change in your diet first.  Such as cutting out just 500 calories a day, or reducing the amount of sugar you take in, or cutting down on just one cup of coffee a day, and so on.  Yes, the goal is to eventually stop the coffee completely, or cut out the sugars entirely, or get the caloric intake down much further than 500 calories a day, but the smaller goal may be more reachable.  Reach for step 4 on the staircase first, and leave the top step for later.

If your goal is to exercise more, regroup and restart by setting realistic goals such as just trying to go for a 15 min walk each day sometime before bed, rather than "I'm going to start running five miles a day and it must be first thing in the morning", or "I must workout for an hour a day starting now", even though you don't really have an extra hour a day to give.  Let the 15 min walk be your equivalent of just aiming for the fourth step on the staircase.  Letting the higher goals be later steps.

Thinking of your new goals as themes instead of resolutions can also ease the pressure to perform and allow the new goals to have aim but not demand.  Reachable goals bring success, not failure.  They are also a lot less stressful and your drive tends to be higher for things you know you can successfully do.

If you feel more discouraged than driven toward your goals as 2025 moves forward, consider regrouping and restarting with reachable and realistic goals.  Muscle is built over time and so is weight loss.  New habits are developed slowly with repetition, not by the flip of a switch.  Take it easy and try again.  Don't give up!

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity"     ~Amelia Earhart

Thanks to ray explores for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Holiday Traditions: Finding Peace in the Familiar

There are a lot of various traditions handed down from generation to generation regarding the holidays.  For some it is the way the tree is decorated, or just the specifics of a meal.  For others it might be songs that are sung or movies that are watched, or maybe traditional family pajamas or ornament decorating.

As we age traditions can change and we might miss some of the old traditions or feel uncomfortable with some of the new ones that come along with a changing life due to partnering or new environments.  But the good thing about holiday traditions is that you can always create new ones that brings you joy and good memories.  The comfort of holiday traditions can bring a feeling of peace and contentment that calms the mind and reduces stress.

One of the ways that traditions help with stress during the holidays is that they bring a sense of reassurance in a changing world that at times doesn't offer the same securities it might have in the past.  Traditions give us a place to come home to where something feel familiar in an uncertain world.

Creating memories with others using traditional rituals for the holidays can bring a sense of peace and joy, as well as bonding around when those traditions are repeated again in the new year.  They become the things that loved ones look forward to and long for when thinking of gathering again.

If you are missing some traditions that were once in your life during the holidays, there is always the chance this year to revive them, recreate them for a new generation, or create entirely new traditions that have the opportunity to become the things to look forward to year after year.

There is a lot of peace to be found in tradition and holiday ritual.  Here are some ideas for you to consider trying for yourself and your loved ones:

Mailing holiday cards, baking cookies or other treats, decorating your tree or home, making ornaments or decorations, creating gingerbread houses, caroling, holiday gathering to watch traditional movies, ugly sweater parties, burning a candle in memory of loved ones lost, going to look at local lights, holiday hayrides, annual tree decorating party, attending traditional performances, etc.

These are fairly traditional, but don't be afraid to come up with something very unique to you and yours.  A traditional cold-water plunge, card game, hot chocolate recipe, special soup, or any other number of unique things you want to weave into your comforting holiday routine is okay.  The point is to not just wait for traditions to be handed down from one generation to the next, but know you can start your own at any time.

If you don't like a holiday tradition you try this year, you don't have to repeat it again.  Just toss it aside and try something else.  But for the things that you find worthwhile, make a special place in your heart and memory to bring them out of the box again next year.

"We are what we repeatedly do"     ~Aristotle 

Thanks to Emily May for the great photo

Simplify the Holidays to Reduce Stress

As the holiday season nears, I hear a lot from others that things get increasingly hectic for them from about Halloween all the way through New Years.  There are a lot of varied factors that contribute to this stress, but one of the biggest is that of making things too complicated.  So finding ways to simplify it all can reduce your stress and get you through the holidays. 

Travel is one of the more common and expensive complications during the holidays.  Ways to simplify traveling include booking your flights early, taking turns every other year or more with relatives to not always be the one traveling, tap in to relatives and friends who live in the destination area to help you with transportation, and always travel light.

Cooking and meal planning are also tasks that can quickly get out of control if too many details and dishes are included.  Meal events can be much less stressful by asking everyone to bring a dish, see if others are willing to help out with some of the usual tasks like table setting, dishes, carving, entertaining guests and so on.  Keeping it simple with just the basics of food can only be helpful and avoiding long and complicated recipes that have high risk of failure when something more simple would do just as well.

Holidays are also a time when many people get sick.  General Adaptation Syndrome explains the way in which chronically high levels of stress will push us through the three stages of Alarm, Resistance, and finally Exhaustion.  When holidays finally come, the body can fall into the third stage of this series making us susceptible to illness due to a lowered immune system.  Ways to counter this are to utilize the time off, not for more stress or unhealthy behavior such as drinking or over eating, but using the time and opportunity to rest, relax, enjoy oneself.  It can be a time for focusing on eating a healthy diet while the opportunity presents itself for a break from the usual stressors of life outside of the holidays.  In other words, don't make your holiday break more complicated with excess, but instead try to simplify it with less.

Holidays don't need to be complicated and stressful.  Instead, they can and should be relaxing events where everyone can reenergize, relax and enjoy a break from the usual rushed and hectic schedule of everyday working life.

You can find my prior blog entry about ways to simplify the holidays here. 

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all."     ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Thanks to Faith Goble for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Anticipatory Anxiety: Coping with Election Worry

I've spoken to a lot of people lately who tell me that one of the things that is leaving them with worry and anxiety on most days is the upcoming election here in the United States.  It was of no matter if they were Democrats or Republicans, because the worry has sounded so similar that one doesn't really even need to know which side of the fence anyone is on.  The worry sounds the same.

Both sides seem worried about violence after the election, and both sides are worried that it seems no one can get along anymore.  Both sides seem to recall times when debate among citizens was safe and people could agree to disagree, and those on both sides seem so overwhelmed at the idea of the "other" candidate winning, that they can hardly do more than bury their heads in the sand until after the elections.

In the 2020 presidential election, despite it being a year when the voter turn-out was the highest it had been in 120 years, only 67% of the those who were eligible to vote, did so.  This year the 2024 results of the American Psychiatric Association's annual mental health poll shows that 73% of Americans are particularly anxious about the US elections, and no wonder since even Newsweek was prompted to ask in one of its September articles, "Is this the closest presidential race in history?"

With a little over two weeks to go until the elections, it seems that with all of this anticipatory anxiety in the air, that stress levels are only going to get higher for many unless steps are taken to reduce anxiety and turn the volume down.

Anticipatory anxiety has all the classic symptoms of many other kinds of anxiety, including muscle tension, rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, shortness of breath, etc.  But it also carries with it a sense of doom and worry about possible bad outcomes, and these kinds of thoughts lead to additional tendencies to ruminate about a future event by means of our active imagination that keeps us focused on future possibilities, rather than on the present.

There is also a lot of uncertainty with anticipatory anxiety which can lead to prolonged stress that lasts until the expected event is finally here or over.  So finding ways to periodically practice relaxation exercises is necessary to prevent your body and mind from running at a high idle for prolonged periods, which can lead to insomnia, distraction, and even physical illness.

One method of countering anticipatory anxiety is to imagine "positive what-ifs".  This method pushes against the ruminating mind that can only think of bad outcomes.  For the election this could be imagining that your candidate wins, but it can also mean imagining how you would cope in a positive way even if your candidate does not win.  In other words it counters ideas that try to convince you that you "couldn't handle it" if the other side wins.

It's also important to not lose track of your daily relaxation routine.  If you find you are forgetting to meditate, go for your mindful walk, take in that daily run, go for that swim, or are avoiding the hike you know brings you back to earth and keeps you centered, then give yourself a nudge to get back on track, especially now so close to the election.

Anticipatory anxiety is felt all the way up until the anticipated event finally happens, and then it disperses.  With this in mind, do all you can to not let it take a toll on your body and mind in the interim.  Know that you can handle the outcome no matter which way the wind blows.

"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it".               ~Alfred Hitchcock

Thanks to Lisa Zins for the great photo

Autumn Walk: A Mindfulness Practice

Autumn is a perfect time to let walking be your mindfulness practice.  It is full of all the richness that brings the senses alive and it's one of the healthiest and safest exercises for the human body.

A helpful exercise when practicing mindfulness is to focus on the senses, and a relaxing walk among the smells, sights and sounds of Autumn can be the perfect combination for staying in the present moment.

When our racing minds begin to take off to the future with worried "what-if" thinking, or when they drift to the past with messages of how things "should" have been, or "could" have been, then we are not present.  But mindfulness practices that bring us right into our senses can help with this.  The sounds, smells, view, feel and even the tastes we experience in the present moment are all that really exist.  We can consider the past and bring information from it to the present to help us solve something or move forward, and we can consider those worries about the future in order to apply action to productive worry, but letting our minds live in the past or future only leads to prolong feelings of depression and anxiety.  

Don't worry.  You're not alone if your mind tends to drift off into the past or future quite often, but you can get better and better at staying in the present by apply daily practices that exercise your ability to return to the present over and over again.  The more you practice mindfulness, the more frequently you will be present and the less you will suffer from the consequences of living in symptoms of depression and anxiety that are triggered by thoughts, and not reality.

A beautiful and relaxing Autumn walk is perfect for these kinds of mindfulness practices.  In such an environment you can intentionally pay attention to the brilliant changing colors all around you.  Fall is a time of year that offers carpeted paths of fallen leaves of shades ranging from yellow and green, to orange and red.  The changing environment around you will also offer the smells of the changing season.  Damp leaves and transforming forest floors produce the smells of the shifting season as the trees around you are shedding their growth for the coming winter. 

There is something about walking among all those leaves that also has a feel of insulation that softens sound.  Depending on where you live, you will also hear the sound of the traveling birds as they make their way south this time of year, and other animals will be busy in the bush preparing their winter homes and food supply.

As you zero in on these senses during your walk, you may not notice it but your mind is no longer racing into the future with worry or drifting into the past with sorrow, regret, and other emotions that surface.  These changes also preventing any ongoing unnecessary symptoms that those memories or worries create in your present moment.

Here is an exercise for your Autumn walk.  Spend 5 minutes on each statement, rotating through them repeatedly throughout your walk:  "What do I see?", "What do I hear?", "What do I smell?", "What do I taste?", and "What do I feel?"  The very last one listed here is not about feeling emotionally or psychologically, but what you feel physically, such as the temperature, or the sun on your face, or your clothing on your body, etc.  In addition, if you do not detect something in one of your senses, that's okay.  For instance, if you are not eating anything, or do not have gum or anything else in your mouth, you might not really taste anything at the moment, and that's okay.  Just move to the next sense and continue.

This is a beautiful time of year to get outside and enjoy the mild temperatures, as well as the beautiful colors and smells.  They say there is no time like the present, but the truth is that the present is the only time that really exists.  So it should say, "There is no time but the present". 

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree."     ~EmilyBronte

Thanks to Sebnem Gulfidan for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Political Burnout: How to Reduce Your Stress

I once heard a woman from the United Kingdom say that she has no idea on earth why we Americans torture ourselves so much during our presidential election cycles.  The pattern begins early and floods the media and culture with noise and more politics than most care to hear about on a daily basis.

I recently took a wide-sweeping survey among those I interact with every day to ask how people are feeling right now about the current election situation here in the United States.  The general and overall summary was that many feel disconnected, disinterested, removed, and basically apathetic about it.  Some told me that they don't have time for it right now, while others expressed that they have too much going on in their lives to bother with anything related to this election year.  But at the exact same time, those who gave these answers expressed them with an eye-rolling frustration that told me they actually do have an opinion, and they do care, but are just frustrated and burned out on the politically saturated environment in the United States.

In January this year the Pew Research Center put out an article entitled  Tuning Out:  Americans on the Edge of Politics, in which they gathered varied comments from responders on how they are feeling regarding politics and elections here in our country.  The comments range from "can't escape it", to feeling they have no idea what to even believe anymore.  There is a good link as well (at the end of the overview) leading to an additional article called, Americans' Dismal Views of the Nation's Politics,where they support their findings and open our eyes to the reality of what has become of our views about this topic in America.  This time last year 65% of Americans said they feel "exhausted" when thinking of politics.

So if you are finding that tuning into the evening news only results in turning it off shortly after, you are not alone.  But the disinterest in the political scene does not come free of stress and anxiety because many people have expressed to me that they do care very much about outcomes in the arena of politics.  Yet they just feel too fatigued of the saturation of it all at this point when the topic of it just keeps being thrown at them over and over again.  Tuning out is a way to rest the brain and the emotions when something feels overwhelming and allows oneself to "come up for air", so-to-speak.  The election here is just over three months away and you can be assured, the focus on this topic won't stop there.

Like any kind of burnout, one step you can take is reducing your exposure to the flood, and in this case the flood is of political information that comes during an election year.  Not easy since it's literally everywhere you turn.  But tuning out of the news once you get the basic top stories of the day does helps.  

Practicing relaxation techniques is key.  You can find my blog entry from just before the 2020 election here in which I talk about the importance of maintaining stress reducing techniques in order to cope both before and after elections.  Get away from the screens when you can, and limit time exposure when you can't.  Avoid friends and acquaintances who are "political arguers" and who seem to pull you into battles that solve nothing, and instead only raise your blood pressure and heart rate.  Relaxation techniques are key at times like this and avoiding other poor coping behaviors such as alcohol and drug use (or other destructive behaviors) that only make things worse, is the way to more satisfactory outcomes.

You might not have the power to control the run-away train called the "political election system" in the United States, but you do have the power to turn down the dial on any conduit that flows it into your immediate vicinity, and which brings this noise to you in an abundance you don't care for.

"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence.  It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare".     ~Audre Lorde

Thanks to charles spoorn for the great photo