The term was coined by Martin Seligman in the 1960's based on research he did with Steven Maier, which basically found that if we come to believe we are helpless over a situation, we begin to give up. The research helped us learn a lot about depression in particular, and why symptoms of depression worsen when we feel there is "nothing we can do" to change or help ourselves or a situation. Anxiety and depression tend to go hand in hand because the more powerless one feels about their anxiety, the more likely they are to also have some level of depression.
But there is an even older concept than Learned Helplessness in my field of study that was around long before I even saw my first client. It's a term that was popular in addiction recovery circles but applied to many areas of personal growth and self-discovery. The phrase was created by a religious man, Reinhold Reinbuhr, a theologian who had written it into one of his sermons. But you don't have to be a religious person to see it has great psychological meaning and truth to it: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
The phrase urges us to seek serenity (a state of peacefulness and calm tranquility) in knowing when something is beyond our control. It's bigger than us, and no matter how hard we might try, we are not going to be able to move it in any direction. But the second part--the part about finding the courage to change the things we can? That's a little bit harder. Probably even harder than the third part of the phrase, which is the wisdom to know the difference between the two, which is hard enough in itself.
Now here is where the two phrases and lessons come together: It's one thing to realize what we are powerless over, and another thing to overlook that we are not powerless over everything. There can also be a hidden belief in one's mind that they are also powerless over their ability to have courage to change the things they still have power to change in this world. Cognitively, if we fall prey to Learned Helplessness, and take the bait of believing we have no power to make changes in the world, then feelings of helplessness and hopelessness get their teeth in, and the giving up begins. The hopelessness and helplessness get in through the cracks.
Let's look at an example: Say you are realizing that global pollution is far beyond your personal capacity to change. You see it, realize it, know it's bigger than you and you begin to let go. The serenity comes from finding peace in knowing that, though you don't like it very much, you can accept that it's beyond what you could ever do in the days you have left on this planet. So yes, you give up on any grandiose belief that you could ever single-handedly accomplish such a thing. Letting go of such an unrealistic expectation is just good self-care.
Yet, that doesn't mean you give up on everything, or on seeing what you can do. You can't single-handedly save the whole planet, and not even the country you live in. Nor can you save the entire state or area you reside in. But if you pull it in closer to home, you might be able to begin seeing something within reach in your own town, community, neighborhood, or possibly just within your own home. This is the "wisdom to see the difference".
Accepting what you cannot change also helps you begin to see what you can change. But many of us tend to feel that's not good enough. We want something bigger. Grander. Something that fixes the big problem we already admitted we can't fix. So it's important to scale it down and accept that your small part matters. And if it's all each of us can do, then think of how important it is to urge others to do their part. That is something you are capable of!
It's okay to believe you really are helpless over things far beyond your capacity. But it doesn't mean you have no power, and it doesn't mean you are helpless over everything. The wisdom to know the difference is where you can get your power back. Accepting the smaller scale things that are within your reach really does matter. This is the part that takes courage. Moving the desire for a better world into action.
And yes! We can do better. We have the capacity as a whole to do better. Each and every one of us! And though we are helpless over some large-scale things, we are not helpless over everything. It takes courage to see that and act nonviolently, and with peace as the ultimate goal.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'."
Thans to John Morton for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en
