Anger: Is it Getting Hot in Here?

I don't know about where you are at in the world, but it's sure been hot in a lot of places.  One thing that research has shown is that aggression increases with heat, and this includes violent crimes, road rage and spouse abuse.  Keep in mind, no one gets to just say, "I did it because it was hot out."  Though we know that these kinds of aggressive acts are associated with heat and hot weather, they don't excuse people from taking responsibility for their actions.  Never-the-less, the facts remain that irritability increases and tolerance for frustration goes down when it's hot out.

What many people don't realize is that both anger and anxiety activate very similar biological reactions in the body.  Both activate the sympathetic nervous system, which is the system responsible for the "fight-or-flight" reaction.  That means that both anger and anxiety trigger all of the following in the body:  increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, rapid or shallow breathing, muscle tension, sweating, trembling or shaking, dry mouth, increased alertness, restlessness, and even a surge of energy.

Just like with anxiety, the full reaction to anger can depend on how a situation is being interpreted.  With anxiety, we can misinterpret a situation as more dangerous than it really is, and so too with anger, we can interpret a situation as more threatening than it factually is.  For instance, being cut off in traffic can lead to a belief that the other driver "did that on purpose" and "threatened your safety" and therefore the reaction can be one of road rage.  One could just as easily see it as a time to tap on the brake a little and give the other person some room to go on their way.  Just like with anxiety, the severity of our biological symptoms can depend greatly on the accuracy of our perception and belief about what is happening in the present moment.  Faulty thinking styles sneak in no matter if we are anxious or angry, they can feed the severity of fight-or-flight symptoms.

When temperatures rise there are plenty of things you can do to try to avoid anger and outbursts.  First of all, it's important to address the biological need to stay cool, which can directly address the discomfort that can lead to irritability.  If you are prone to anger, try to stay hydrated in the hot summer months. Move indoors to air-conditioned settings and drink cool fluids or try a cool shower.  If those are not possible you can try to cool the hands by running them under cold water.  Make sure you at least get some breaks from the heat by getting indoors or into some shade.

In addition, monitor yourself for early warning signs of agitation.  Notice if you are starting to get impatient, clenching your fists, raising your voice, or just feeling on edge. 

Since anger and anxiety use the same response system, you can reduce your symptoms of anger in the same way you can reduce your symptoms of anxiety.  Slow abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, challenging your faulty thinking style, and reinterpreting the situation in more rational and realistic terms.

Anger and anxiety are very difference emotions, but they also have a lot in common and once you understand one of these emotions, you are already very informed about ways to cope with them both.

"Anxiety and Anger are two sides of the same coin"     Anonymous

Thanks to Ryan Summers for the great photos, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Artemis II: A Reminder of the Power of Mindfulness

Every now and then humanity is reminded of what it is outside of the borders, wars, and problems it has created for itself.  The recent Artemis II space flight mission around the moon was just such a reminder in which one of the astronauts, Christina Koch said, "There are no lines." Meaning, what she saw of us from space is oceans, weather systems, and no borders.  A complete whole.  One.

The mission was something the world's population have been needing, to remind us of how deeply we've become engrossed in our petty systemic bickering and violence toward one another, and how much we've forgotten who we really are on what Carl Sagan called, "a pale blue dot".

Out here in the vast universe, our existence is something to behold.  We can choose to live in awe or we can bury our heads in the sand of chaos and never look up until our last breath, when we may find ourselves wondering what we missed.

When stress is part of our everyday lives we may not look up at the sky for days, weeks or even months until some spectacular sunrise or sunset catches our eye, or we find ourselves outside under a star-filled sky on some wonderful summer's evening and are reminded of what Victor Glover described as this "oasis" called Earth, floating out in space.

Mindfulness practices help us come back to just what is happening right this minute.  The heartbeat, sounds, the feel of the temperature, the taste of things, the smell of things, and what the glorious human eye is seeing.  Even if it sees darkness.

The difference between humans that are going through this one precious life asleep and those going through it awake, is that those who are awake, are aware.  It's the difference between being on this planet and functioning, and being on this planet and functioning while fully "aware" that one is on this planet and functioning.

The crew of Artemis II were probably four of the most aware human beings on and off the planet recently.  Literally thrust into awareness by the strike of the universal Zen Master's stick, who called them to the full attention of reality.  On return they expressed their awe and heightened view of the oneness of who we all are.  Reminding us that our imaginary borders are in the way of our attempts to wake up, and they can't be seen from the vastness of space.

Does that mean that our everyday battles and hardships are not real?  No, but it does mean that waking up is important.  Staying mindful matters.  Not getting lost in this chaotic world so much that you forget who you are and what you are a part of.

Mindfulness practices are not just a fad.  They are a practice and a discovery that can benefit you and your relationships, as well as your community, country and the planet.  It's about the hope that as many people as possible, on this pale blue dot, will be both awake and aware.  In this way the Earth and the living things that make it what it is, will be a system of self-care and not one of self-destruction.

"It's a special thing to be a human and it's a special thing to be on planet Earth."  Reid Wiseman (Artemis II Mission Commander).

Thanks to NASA for the great image from the Orion spacecraft 2026

Feeling Powerless: Stress and the Way out of Helplessness

I'm hearing from a lot of people lately about how powerless they feel about current events.  Be it the wars around the world, or the economy, or loss of confidence in leadership, the general consensus is that many feel, "There's nothing I can do about it."  Which reminds me of a term I explained a lot in the early years of my career in counseling while doing my practicum in a college campus counseling center using biofeedback machines to help people learn to regulate their stress response.  That term is, Learned Helplessness.

The term was coined by Martin Seligman in the 1960's based on research he did with Steven Maier, which basically found that if we come to believe we are helpless over a situation, we begin to give up.  The research helped us learn a lot about depression in particular, and why symptoms of depression worsen when we feel there is "nothing we can do" to change or help ourselves or a situation.  Anxiety and depression tend to go hand in hand because the more powerless one feels about their anxiety, the more likely they are to also have some level of depression.

But there is an even older concept than Learned Helplessness in my field of study that was around long before I even saw my first client.  It's a term that was popular in addiction recovery circles but applied to many areas of personal growth and self-discovery.  The phrase was created by a religious man, Reinhold Reinbuhr, a theologian who had written it into one of his sermons.   But you don't have to be a religious person to see it has great psychological meaning and truth to it:  "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

The phrase urges us to seek serenity (a state of peacefulness and calm tranquility) in knowing when something is beyond our control.  It's bigger than us, and no matter how hard we might try, we are not going to be able to move it in any direction.  But the second part--the part about finding the courage to change the things we can?  That's a little bit harder.  Probably even harder than the third part of the phrase, which is the wisdom to know the difference between the two, which is hard enough in itself.

Now here is where the two phrases and lessons come together:   It's one thing to realize what we are powerless over, and another thing to overlook that we are not powerless over everything.  There can also be a hidden belief in one's mind that they are also powerless over their ability to have courage to change the things they still have power to change in this world.  Cognitively, if we fall prey to Learned Helplessness, and take the bait of believing we have no power to make changes in the world, then feelings of helplessness and hopelessness get their teeth in, and the giving up begins.  The hopelessness and helplessness get in through the cracks.

Let's look at an example:  Say you are realizing that global pollution is far beyond your personal capacity to change.  You see it, realize it, know it's bigger than you and you begin to let go.  The serenity comes from finding peace in knowing that, though you don't like it very much, you can accept that it's beyond what you could ever do in the days you have left on this planet.  So yes, you give up on any grandiose belief that you could ever single-handedly accomplish such a thing.  Letting go of such an unrealistic expectation is just good self-care.

Yet, that doesn't mean you give up on everything, or on seeing what you can do.  You can't single-handedly save the whole planet, and not even the country you live in.  Nor can you save the entire state or area you reside in.  But if you pull it in closer to home, you might be able to begin seeing something within reach in your own town, community, neighborhood, or possibly just within your own home.  This is the "wisdom to see the difference".

Accepting what you cannot change also helps you begin to see what you can change.  But many of us tend to feel that's not good enough.  We want something bigger.  Grander.  Something that fixes the big problem we already admitted we can't fix.  So it's important to scale it down and accept that your small part matters.  And if it's all each of us can do, then think of how important it is to urge others to do their part.  That is something you are capable of!

It's okay to believe you really are helpless over things far beyond your capacity.  But it doesn't mean you have no power, and it doesn't mean you are helpless over everything.  The wisdom to know the difference is where you can get your power back.  Accepting the smaller scale things that are within your reach really does matter.  This is the part that takes courage.  Moving the desire for a better world into action.

And yes!  We can do better.  We have the capacity as a whole to do better.  Each and every one of us!  And though we are helpless over some large-scale things, we are not helpless over everything.  It takes courage to see that and act nonviolently, and with peace as the ultimate goal.

You can read more about practice and determination in my June 2023 blog entry here

"Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'."     ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Thans to John Morton for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Aroma Therapy: Stimulating the Brain to Alter the Mood

Psychotherapists have recommended Aroma Therapy for quite some time to clients who are looking for more things to add to their list of relaxation tools and exercises.  It is a way to intentionally alter mood by allowing various forms of scent to reach receptors in the nose where they then travel to an area of the brain that controls emotions.  That means that any aroma can trigger a mood, both positively and negatively.  So experimenting with aromas can help you learn which ones are most relaxing and positively stimulating for you, and which ones you should avoid.

Some specific aromas have been found to be very helpful for stress, including lavender, cedar, frankincense, and jasmine.  It's also known that certain smells will activate memory, such as thinking of the holiday season when smelling evergreen, or being reminded of Thanksgiving or Halloween when smelling pumpkin.  But not all aromas are interpreted the same by everyone, so developing your own preference is important and will take time, as well as trial and error.

When it comes to using Aroma Therapy to facilitate relaxation, there are also many safety factors to take into account, such as the method used to disperse the aroma into one's environment, as some methods are safer than others.  For instance, burning incense is a great way to deliver aroma into any given environment, both indoors and outdoors, but it's wisest to use plant-based incense and even better if you burn them outdoors to prevent poor ventilation and to reduce inhalation of any unhealthy particles.  In addition, stay alert when burning oils, incense, or potpourri, especially if you have any risk of falling asleep while relaxing to the enjoyment of these types of aromas.

The methods for Aroma Therapy are many, and include diffusers, incense, perfumes, bath oils, essential oils, and body lotions to name a few.  For some the simple smell of an open fire is relaxing, and for others it's the natural smells of things like the ocean, mountain pine trees, or the smell of rain.

You can find additional information about Aroma Therapy on my earlier blog entry from 2015 here 

"Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived"       ~Helen Keller

Thanks to jessicahtam for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Hot Springs in Colorado: Submerging in the Relaxation of the Rockies

When it comes to relaxation, soaking in natural hot springs is top on the list for enhancing wellness and stress reduction.  And there is no better state in the country than Colorado to find an abundance of these wonderful hot springs.  

Colorado has a long history of drawing the attention of those who seek out and enjoy some of the most unique and lovely mineral springs in the country.  We have Glenwood Springs just across the street from the historic Colorado Hotel, and the beautiful Pagosa Springs, which boasts of 52 soaking pools and cold plunges.

You can find many of the best hot springs Colorado has to offer by traveling the Colorado Hot Springs Loop, which is an 800-mile stretch of 23 different hot springs soaking locations.   Anywhere along the way you can rest your weary bones and rejuvenate your body and mind.

So why is it that soaking in some of these great water sources is so good for relaxing and healing the human body?  

Well, the hot springs contain minerals from the rocks they pass through and as long as the water is of tolerable temperature for the human body, it helps to relax muscles and tendons to promote healing.  

Use of hot springs all over the world traces back thousands of years and in our modern world it is a lucrative industry centering on tourism, rehabilitation clinics, and spas.

You can find my previous blog entry from 2018 about soaking in hot springs here, where I provide a list of 30 different Colorado Hot Springs you can try.

If you are unable to find a way to get to some of these great locations, then soaking in a hot bath at home is still worth its weight in gold.  You can find my prior blog entry from 2015 about the great benefits of soaking in a hot bath here.  

And don't forget to look around for one of many mineral products you can safely add to your bath water, which can bring some of the benefits of natural hot spring water right to your home.

"It's Hot Springs o'clock somewhere"

What Meditation Is and Is Not.

Knowing what meditation is and is not can help you develop a good meditation practice with realistic expectations.

What meditation is not:  

Meditation is not a technique used to get us into some sort of emotional state.  So if you are trying to get out of anger, or into a steady attitude of joy, meditation is not the way.  It's not a form of escapism in which you can run away from your addictions, boss, annoyances, or problems.  It's also not meant to put an end to your ruminations, although it probably can help with them, that's not the aim.  It's not therapy in that if you sit down and meditate your problems will begin to resolve themselves from the effort.  So don't assume meditation will bring that your way, either.  And meditation is not a religion, although it can be practiced by individuals from a wide range of various religious beliefs.

There are plenty of ways to rest, relax, and find leisure, but these are not meditation, either.  A guided imagery exercise is nice and even enjoyable and entertaining, but it is not meditation.  So a "guided meditation" is a little misleading and leaves you vulnerable to the decisions, directions, and reality of someone else.  It also keeps you from being aware of your true present moment, unless you just want to be aware of your relaxing and entertaining guided imagery, which is perfectly fine, but it's not meditation.

What meditation is:

Meditation is best thought of as ways in which you practice staying mindful, which means you are aware of the present moment as it is, not as it once was or how you want it to be.  So it is a state of awareness and many meditation techniques are those that help you stay present and aware of your moment-to-moment existence in this life.

When you hear someone say they have meditation as a "practice" it means they are literally practicing mindfulness and possibly using mindfulness techniques to do that, and the reason this is important is because humans have a tendency to miss out on reality itself because they are either dwelling on the past and ruminating about the things that have already been, or they are worried and anxious about the future and those things that have not ever actually happened.  

For instance, if you drive to the grocery store and upon arrival can't really recall all the traffic lights and things you saw along the way because you spent the drive angry about the thing your boss said yesterday, or you were busy ruminating about something a friend said about something you did or said, or your mind was focused on and worried about some upcoming event next week, then you actually missed out on that entire drive that was a part of your real and actual moment-to-moment life.  

But with practice, we can all get much better over time at being present for our lives and actually aware of the goings-on, the things sensed, the people coming in and out of our awareness, that series of traffic lights on the way to the store, and the true reality of every moment of our very short and limited precious lives.

So meditation is not the things that help us escape reality and the present moment, but it is awareness itself of the present moment.  So if you are using the present moment to escape reality, you are not meditating, but if you are fully present then your meditation is sound.

You can find some great guidance as a beginner in this wonderful book by Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

Meditation is not really about seeking relaxation, but it does help with relaxation by bringing your mind to the present and pulling it away from future oriented worry which produces stress.  You can find my prior blog entry about the ways meditation helps with relaxation here 

"Just being in the moment in this place is the deepest practice of meditation"     ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Thanks to luckey_sun for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Forest Bathing to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

Shinrin-yoku.  That's what the Japanese call Forest Bathing.  It's a practice of immersing oneself in nature (especially forests), and the reason it is so helpful for stress is because it is a mindfulness practice that has a direct impact on all the various anxiety responses that get triggered in the human body during stress.

In any forest you will find a unique ecosystem made up of trees, animals, and other living plants and organisms that may vary depending on where you are at on the planet.  It's a complete interconnected system of dense trees, water, and air that creates an atmosphere of quiet relaxation.

One of the most noticeable things about Forest Bathing is that it speaks directly to the senses.  From the soft gentle lighting that is created by the tree coverage, to the sound of running streams, birds, and other living creatures that inhabit most of these environments.  In your every breath you can taste and inhale the wooded smells of the surrounding area.  It's an earthy smell of pine, moss, plants, flowers, and damp soil.  Usually the dense trees create a muffling of sound which makes time in the forest nice and quiet, with the right combination of gentle noises that feel accepting (and familiar) to the human body.  

The greenery from the combination of trees, plants, wood and soil in most forests is welcoming to the eyes as it creates a view that is not too bright and not too dark.  And the softness of the moss and aged leaves on most forest floors creates a gentle massage on one's feet when walking over the trails and paths.  There isn't too much in these environments that the human body doesn't like and so it feels welcoming and is an environment our bodies can relate to.

Scientifically, the proof supports the feeling that Forest Bathing brings.  According to Dr Qing Li, who is considered to be the foremost expert on Forest Bathing or "forest medicine," there are many medical benefits from practicing Forest Bathing.  Including, strengthening the immune system, lowering blood pressure, lowering levels of depression, anxiety and stress, reducing fatigue, lowering levels of cortisol steroids in the system (the stress hormone), and increasing a sense of mental focus (mindfulness).

Forest Bathing is one of the most affordable kinds of stress-reduction therapy you will ever find.  It's reachable and manageable for many and talks to that part of us that knows we are a part of nature.  If you are looking for ideas about how you can get back into nature, you can find my earlier blog entry here about ways to get out and get connected with the great outdoors.  There is no time like the present to submerge yourself in the relaxing practice of Forest Bathing.

"Go out in the forest, go out.  If you don't go out in the woods nothing will ever happen and your life will never begin."     ~Clarrisa Pinkola Estes

Thanks to Jan Hazevoet for the great photos, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Holiday Traditions: Finding Peace in the Familiar

There are a lot of various traditions handed down from generation to generation regarding the holidays.  For some it is the way the tree is decorated, or just the specifics of a meal.  For others it might be songs that are sung or movies that are watched, or maybe traditional family pajamas or ornament decorating.

As we age traditions can change and we might miss some of the old traditions or feel uncomfortable with some of the new ones that come along with a changing life due to partnering or new environments.  But the good thing about holiday traditions is that you can always create new ones that brings you joy and good memories.  The comfort of holiday traditions can bring a feeling of peace and contentment that calms the mind and reduces stress.

One of the ways that traditions help with stress during the holidays is that they bring a sense of reassurance in a changing world that at times doesn't offer the same securities it might have in the past.  Traditions give us a place to come home to where something feel familiar in an uncertain world.

Creating memories with others using traditional rituals for the holidays can bring a sense of peace and joy, as well as bonding around when those traditions are repeated again in the new year.  They become the things that loved ones look forward to and long for when thinking of gathering again.

If you are missing some traditions that were once in your life during the holidays, there is always the chance this year to revive them, recreate them for a new generation, or create entirely new traditions that have the opportunity to become the things to look forward to year after year.

There is a lot of peace to be found in tradition and holiday ritual.  Here are some ideas for you to consider trying for yourself and your loved ones:

Mailing holiday cards, baking cookies or other treats, decorating your tree or home, making ornaments or decorations, creating gingerbread houses, caroling, holiday gathering to watch traditional movies, ugly sweater parties, burning a candle in memory of loved ones lost, going to look at local lights, holiday hayrides, annual tree decorating party, attending traditional performances, etc.

These are fairly traditional, but don't be afraid to come up with something very unique to you and yours.  A traditional cold-water plunge, card game, hot chocolate recipe, special soup, or any other number of unique things you want to weave into your comforting holiday routine is okay.  The point is to not just wait for traditions to be handed down from one generation to the next, but know you can start your own at any time.

If you don't like a holiday tradition you try this year, you don't have to repeat it again.  Just toss it aside and try something else.  But for the things that you find worthwhile, make a special place in your heart and memory to bring them out of the box again next year.

"We are what we repeatedly do"     ~Aristotle 

Thanks to Emily May for the great photo

Autumn Walk: A Mindfulness Practice

Autumn is a perfect time to let walking be your mindfulness practice.  It is full of all the richness that brings the senses alive and it's one of the healthiest and safest exercises for the human body.

A helpful exercise when practicing mindfulness is to focus on the senses, and a relaxing walk among the smells, sights and sounds of Autumn can be the perfect combination for staying in the present moment.

When our racing minds begin to take off to the future with worried "what-if" thinking, or when they drift to the past with messages of how things "should" have been, or "could" have been, then we are not present.  But mindfulness practices that bring us right into our senses can help with this.  The sounds, smells, view, feel and even the tastes we experience in the present moment are all that really exist.  We can consider the past and bring information from it to the present to help us solve something or move forward, and we can consider those worries about the future in order to apply action to productive worry, but letting our minds live in the past or future only leads to prolong feelings of depression and anxiety.  

Don't worry.  You're not alone if your mind tends to drift off into the past or future quite often, but you can get better and better at staying in the present by apply daily practices that exercise your ability to return to the present over and over again.  The more you practice mindfulness, the more frequently you will be present and the less you will suffer from the consequences of living in symptoms of depression and anxiety that are triggered by thoughts, and not reality.

A beautiful and relaxing Autumn walk is perfect for these kinds of mindfulness practices.  In such an environment you can intentionally pay attention to the brilliant changing colors all around you.  Fall is a time of year that offers carpeted paths of fallen leaves of shades ranging from yellow and green, to orange and red.  The changing environment around you will also offer the smells of the changing season.  Damp leaves and transforming forest floors produce the smells of the shifting season as the trees around you are shedding their growth for the coming winter. 

There is something about walking among all those leaves that also has a feel of insulation that softens sound.  Depending on where you live, you will also hear the sound of the traveling birds as they make their way south this time of year, and other animals will be busy in the bush preparing their winter homes and food supply.

As you zero in on these senses during your walk, you may not notice it but your mind is no longer racing into the future with worry or drifting into the past with sorrow, regret, and other emotions that surface.  These changes also preventing any ongoing unnecessary symptoms that those memories or worries create in your present moment.

Here is an exercise for your Autumn walk.  Spend 5 minutes on each statement, rotating through them repeatedly throughout your walk:  "What do I see?", "What do I hear?", "What do I smell?", "What do I taste?", and "What do I feel?"  The very last one listed here is not about feeling emotionally or psychologically, but what you feel physically, such as the temperature, or the sun on your face, or your clothing on your body, etc.  In addition, if you do not detect something in one of your senses, that's okay.  For instance, if you are not eating anything, or do not have gum or anything else in your mouth, you might not really taste anything at the moment, and that's okay.  Just move to the next sense and continue.

This is a beautiful time of year to get outside and enjoy the mild temperatures, as well as the beautiful colors and smells.  They say there is no time like the present, but the truth is that the present is the only time that really exists.  So it should say, "There is no time but the present". 

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree."     ~EmilyBronte

Thanks to Sebnem Gulfidan for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Summer Solstice: Our Seasonal Changing Mood

As I write this blog it is the Summer Solstice 2024.  It's a time for rejuvenation and a celebration of revitalized energy.  Looking at my calendar I also see it is a full moon.  So symbolic for the season and, according to NASA, this is the first time in 40 years that the full moon has fallen on the first day of Summer.  It's called a "Strawberry Moon" because it is the peak season for harvesting strawberries in the Northeast.   It's the day of the year with the most amount of daylight and the least amount of darkness.  So of course, those prone to depression tend to feel a bit better this time of year as the revitalization of the season fills them up and gives them more energy.

Basically, this is the time of year where our species has found various ways to celebrate the life-giving force of the sun and celebrate the way it aids in the growing of everything we know on this planet to be life giving and life sustaining.  This includes the way it boosts human energy and mood in a way that gives us more desire to be active and do things, which in turn can help with exercise and sleep patterns.

We think of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) as something that only happens in the Winter with increased cases of depression and sadness, but with warm weather comes the stress of heat and for some the increased levels of energy during the Summer can lead to increased occurences of anxiety symptoms and usher in a different kind of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Some of the ways that SAD looks different in the Summer is that since energy levels rise in the body people can experience things such as anxiety, insomnia, and restlessness, and because there is more daylight we tend to get to bed later or even stay up late to enjoy the cool of the night, which can lead to loss of sleep needed to get through the next day.  So believe it or not, even depression can set in over time, just like it does in the Winter.

Ways to regulate mood in the Summer include keeping a regular schedule for your sleep wake cycle, staying cool and hydrated, as well as practicing your relaxation techniques on a regular basis including meditation, abdominal breathing, exercise, and daily journaling.  Exercise is easier and more accessible in the summer, so get out and partake in everything from walking and hiking, to summer sports and activities in the parks.  Be sure to counter-balance that, however, with rest and relaxation and take in that great summer revitalization by soaking in gentle hot springs, lounging a bit on the deck or at the pool side or beach, and relaxing in the cool evenings that are geared at regulating body temperatures after a long hot day.

Our ancestors celebrated this time of year by building bonfires and dancing around them (even leaping over them) in festive ritual.  A more modern idea is to consider writing words or phrases on paper that you want to let go of for the year and burning them in the fire to "let them go".   You can celebrate with some hydrating foods like watermelon, grapes and fruit.  And be sure to go out and try to see that wonderful rare Strawberry Moon tonight.  All of your whole body knows what time of year it is!

You can find my earlier blog entry about Seasonal Affective Disorder here

"I have only to break into the tightness of a strawberry, and I see summer--its dust and lowering sky."     ~Toni Morrison

Thanks to Nigel Hoult for the great photo

Relapse Prevention: Making changes now to be ready later

When the seasons change in the spring and summer months our human bodies tend to wake up a bit from our winter slumber.  We have a lot more energy this time of year and motivation rises to match the increased number of hours we are exposed to daylight.  These changes bring great opportunity to be more active, get things done, and work on personal improvements, as well as work on our stress management and relapse prevention plans.

With more sunshine and longer days comes a boost in serotonin and a much better sleep/wake schedule.  There is a noticeable increase in desire to do things, but it's best to keep track of the calendar because these warm and energetic times of the year only last so long depending on where you are at in the world.  For those here in Colorado, the season is roughly 16 weeks long from June through September.  Therefore, many people capitalize on this time of year to get in those vacation, home improvements, and outdoor activities they love so much.  It's also the time to capitalize on motivation that might be missing in the winter months, and with this motivation comes the energy and desire to revise your relapse prevention plan, be those for substance abuse, depression, or anxiety.  Plan to do it now while the desire and energy are here!

According to Psych Central your plan should include several things including, recognizing your red flags or "triggers", developing alternative activities, avoiding situations that you know are dangerous for your sense of wellbeing, and two very important other factors, which are to rehearse how you plan to respond when situations arise that trigger you, as well as have your stress management techniques at hand and ready to be used when the situation calls for it (i.e., such as during the holidays, shortened days of sunlight, and more hectic times of year concerning interrelations with family and friends).

Preparing now in the warmer months while energy and motivation are high is like buying yourself an early gift and wrapping it up to open later.  Having a plan for yourself now, or revising and updating the one you already have, is a great act of self-maintenance, self-love, and self-care, just like keeping up on your exercise or dental care.  It's something you will thank yourself for later when the days once again grow short and stay darker longer, and when your motivation is once again low.

You can find my prior blog entry about relapse prevention here

"What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make."    ~Jane Goodall

Thanks to Larissa S for the great photo

Reducing Stress: Seeing your New Year Resolutions through to the End

It's a new year and fresh starts are always a clean slate, allowing a way to put some things behind you and begin again. 

According to a new survey from Forbes Health, the top resolutions for 2024 are to improve fitness, finances and mental health.  So it's clear that people really want to do well, take care of themselves, stay out of debt and feel better emotionally and psychologically.  But where do we begin?

Reaching these kinds of goals takes a lot of determination and consistency in behavior and schedule.  So finding ways to approach the problems of inconsistency and broken schedules is a great place to begin.  In other words, how to stay on track with your new goals and themes for the year.

Here is a simple method to consider:  First, limit the plan to as few items as possible.  Second, keep the goal and expectation within reach (even a little low if necessary).  Third, place expectations and consistency at an equal level.  So the summary of the plan is:  A) few items, B) expectations within reach, and C) keeping expectations and consistency equal.

So here is an example:  Let's say you want to lose 10 pounds.  The first step is to keep that simple, not decide it also includes joining a gym, running 5 miles a day to reach it, altering your entire diet, and increasing the number of times you walk the dog a day to increase steps all to reach the goal of losing 10 pounds.  Instead, the simple goal is just one goal, and that is to drop 10 pounds.  

Next, you want to set the expectations for your 10 pound weight loss within reasonable reach.  Calculating a reasonable number of pounds to drop per week, how to do that based on caloric intake and caloric burning, and determine a reasonable amount of activities or diet restrictions that can actually be reached on a daily and weekly basis.  The key wording her is "reasonable expectations" of yourself and the diet, not unreasonable or even impossible.

Finally, you would determine what you can reasonably do on a consistent basis to reach these tasks and goal.  Such as how far you can reasonably run if not 5 miles a day, and how many sit up or miles walked can your reasonably or actually fit in to your busy schedule without overloading yourself and starting to fail at the  task?

Last year I wrote about setting "themes" for your New Year instead of "resolutions" or "goals".  With that in mind, set these new target activities in your life as themes to focus on and not some end-all place to reach.  Especially when it comes to tasks like dieting, where it's the lifestyle that is to change on a regualr basis and not just a number that is to be reached.

If your goal is to spend less money.  Try outlining that goal with this three-part plan.  One, keep it simple.  Don't try to stop your daily latte', plus cut your grocery bill in half, plus cut out your Amazon shopping, and have your cable disconnected all at once.  Start with something small that helps you learn to discontinue one thing consistently.  If that item is within a reasonable level of expectation and you know you can do it, then try the easier task first.  If, say, you just focus on cutting out the daily latte' and have a pretty good idea that that first goal is reachable, and that you can easily reach that expectation of yourself, then let that be enough at first.  Being able to show yourself you can cut that item out over time leads to an overall feeling of success, which sets you up to try a second item on your financial goals list.

Whatever changes you have decided to tackle for the New Year, make sure they are simple, reachable, and you feel confident you can stay steadily after them until you reach success.

You can see my previous blog entry about ways to stick to your New Years resolution here.

"Motivation is what gets your started, habit is what keeps you going."    ~Jillian Michaels

Thanks to Nan Fry for her great image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Holiday Relapse Risks: Making a Plan to Stay on Track

It's that time of year again as we are in the heart of the holiday season, and though it is exciting and joyful for some, it can also be stressful for many.  Be it financial strain, the rush and hurry of shopping, or just the planning and scheduling to meet with family and friends.  All are potential triggers for a long list of mental health and addiction problems.

The time-frame between Thanksgiving and New Years contains some of the highest levels of drinking during the entire year.  It's believed these excesses of drinking nearly double from normal use for many and tend to be highest on Thanksgiving Eve, Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, when people know they have the next day off.

In addition, depression and anxiety worsen during the holidays and are typically triggered, again, by the increased levels of stress.  Holiday parties at work and with friends, as well as gatherings with family who have the potential of pushing one another's buttons during family gatherings, all can trigger even higher levels of stress than normal and lead to increased levels of depression and anxiety.  These events are worsened in the presence of Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is more prominent in the winter months, but they can also worsen already treated mental health conditions which can become destabilized under the stress of the holiday rush.

Relapse prevention plans are the key to getting through the holidays.  That goes for both addictive issues and mental health issues.  Relapse prevention is how "high risk" situations are prevented and how stressful situations that can trigger a return to either abusive levels of addictive behavior, or situations that can trigger depression or anxiety, are prevented.

With relapse prevention, one of the first things to determine and know about yourself is what your triggers are, and then to have key stress reducing plans and techniques in place for coping with the emotions surrounding these situations before they get a chance to tip the scales and heighten the risk for relapse.

Below you will find some helpful links from Psych Central to help you along your path to creating your own holiday relapse prevention plans for addiction and mental health concerns.  Whatever you do, don't put it off.  It's always worth planning in advance to keep yourself on track and find the success you want:

*Tips for Managing Triggers during Addiction Recovery:  https://psychcentral.com/addictions/5-tips-for-managing-triggers-during-addiction-recovery#identifying-triggers

*Relapse Prevention:  https://psychcentral.com/lib/relapse-prevention#1

*Cognitive Reminders to help you Cope with a Depression Relapse:  https://psychcentral.com/depression/the-fear-of-relapse-cognitive-tools 

"Today I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself."   ~Meldoy Beattie

Thanks to Tom lpri for the great holiday image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Gratitude: Practicing Thankfulness Year-Round

Thanksgiving is a time for gathering, feasting, and giving thanks, but giving thanks is a helpful exercise to get in the habit of year-round.  Recognizing what we are grateful for can help us move our awareness from the many forms of faulty thinking that tend to lead to depression and anxiety, and shift us toward a more consistent habit of thankfulness for what we have right now. 

In any given situation we have the option to focus on what we already have before us and in our lives.  Because our brains are geared to watch for dangers, we sometimes forget how wonderful and miraculous our lives are, including the things we have in them, and the situations we experience.

Has someone helped you recently?  Did you catch a break on some discount, deadline, or deal?  Are you glad the roof doesn't leak, and the car runs, or that the kids or pets are healthy this month?  Did something finally get solved or resolved?  Maybe some problem, glitch, or issue that was annoying and irritating?  And what about the most mundane things we forget to acknowledge as "good today" or "good this very moment".  

What we don't notice is that our monkey mind tends to wander off to the past and the future, ruminating about how things should have been, should be now, and about how terrible they can end up in the future unless we worry hard enough to prevent bad things from happening (which of course is not possible).  So gratefulness is a great Mindfulness exercise.  We can ask ourselves, "What am I thankful for right at this very moment?"  

The next time you are sitting at a traffic light with nothing much to do but wait for the light to change, ask yourself in that moment, "What are three things I am grateful for right now?"  Maybe you are grateful that the roads are clear and it's a sunny day.  Or maybe you are grateful the traffic is not too bad at the moment.  It can be anything at all.  

You can make a new habit of giving thanks at key times throughout your day.  Maybe think of three things you are grateful for while waking in the morning and preparing for your day.  Or maybe finding thankfulness in the evening before going to bed.  You can build these moments of gratitude into any part of your day and make them habit forming, just like brushing your teeth or taking a shower.  It takes practice at first, but repetition makes the behavior.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy all you feel grateful for.  Then spread that Thankfulness throughout the year, making every day a day of thanks.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have, you'll never, ever have enough."  ~Oprah Winfrey

Thanks to Faith Goble for the great festive image

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Preparing for Autumn Mood Changes

Autumn is a favored time of year for many.  It's a time of beautiful changing colors as the season transitions from warm to cool, and a time for other kinds of transitions as well, such as what we crave to eat and drink, how our energy manifests, and of course what our mood may be.  As the days shorten and melatonin levels change in our bodies, this time of year can be a little more melancholy for some than for others.  Psychologically, it's the time of year for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  A time when some people are prone to depression and need a good plan in place to ride out the season with the best coping skills they can find.

SAD is believed to be a mood change caused by melatonin levels changing in the body due to the way the light changes this time of year.  As the days shorten (meaning shorter durations of light) our bodies change as well.  Higher melatonin levels tend to help our bodies prepare for sleep, making us tired and ready to slow down, and it increases (or builds up) in the body when there is less light.  Melatonin levels decrease when there is more light which tends to suppress the production of melatonin as light enters the eyes.  Therefore the higher levels of melatonin in the body during the Fall and Winter months tends to affect some people more severely than others, leading to symptoms of depression.  This can include feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, sluggishness, fatigue, decreased interest in activities, sleep disturbances, poor concentration and depressed feelings for most of each day.  It's believed that lower serotonin level as well as lower vitamin D levels also play a role in SAD but the research is still out.

The best plan for SAD is to try preparing from many angles for the time of year you know you will be affected by the seasonal change the most.  Taking extra vitamin D, consulting with your doctor about getting on antidepressant medications, setting up regular psychotherapy sessions this time of year with your counselor, and most of all looking into ways to get some "light therapy" which can help suppress the production of too much melatonin.

Both vitamin D and light therapy can be obtained by making sure you don't hunker down inside too much.  Getting outside to absorb as much sunlight as you can is important, but it's a little harder since the cold temperatures tend to make us all want to stay indoors as the seasons change.  Consider some outdoor activates that might be popular in cooler weather such as skiing, snow shoeing, sledding, and even Fall and Winter hiking.  Even just getting out for walks in the daylight, regardless of the temperature, is a good idea.  The exercise involved in many of these activities can also help boost your serotonin levels, so it's all-around good therapy.

You can also try many of the various forms of light therapy devices designed to provide your body with light exposure.  These "light boxes" are much brighter than regular indoor lights and you can sit in front of them for 30 min to an hour each morning during these darker times of the year.  Make sure you get appropriate lights that filter out damaging UV light and are marked as safe for your body and eyes.

You don't have to fall passive to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  Be proactive and do all you can now to prepare for the changing season and changing moods.

"It always takes me by surprise how dark it gets this time of year",  ~To a Poet, First Aid Kit

Thanks to Bonnie Moreland for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/

Intuition: An Old Trusted Friend when facing Anxiety and Depression

Intuition...defined as "the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning."  In other words, intuition is when we just somehow know something and don't know why we know it.  We just do.  

Intuition might have been misrepresented by Bruce Kasanoff when he wrote about it in his article for Forbes magazine in 2017 and used the title "Intuition is the Highest form of Intelligence", but what he might have been trying to say to his readers was that one thing we learned from the very intelligent Einstein--who by the way existed before IQ tests were developed in 1905, but has an estimated IQ somewhere between 160 and 190--is that Einstein tried to tell us that intuition is no insignificant part of most intelligent decisions and discoveries ever made in human history, and that actually some of the most intelligent decisions could not have been made without acknowledging intuition and its part in our human perception and decision making processes. 

To bring intuition down off the pedestal Kasanoff put it on in his title, and carry it along with the rest of the human skills we possess, we might more accurately say that intuition is considered to be something all people use to help them make decisions, along with the reasoning mind, which can sometimes either miss things or go off in the wrong direction, especially if intuition is ignored.  It would be as equally fair to say that intuition can sometimes go off in the wrong direction as well, but in reality, if we have wandered off into delusional thinking, then that is no longer intuition.  So let's keep this real.  Intuition is that "gut feeling", it's a knowing something without knowing how you know it.  It can "also" be inaccurate, just as logic can miss the mark, but it is not the same thing as delusion or illusion, and it doesn't follow the typical scientific rational methods of reaching conclusions by use of reason.  So we need a balance of reason and intuition.  Intuition is something knowable that has been experienced by many, but is outside the reach of knowing "how" we know, and can't always be explained in any form of logic or reason. 

Giger Gigerenzer, author of The Intelligence of Intuition, which will be released soon in September 2023, refers to intuition as a form of heuristics.  By that he means that it's a way humans "fill in the gap" where knowledge isn't actually there, in order to come to a quick conclusion about something.  In his earlier book from 2008 titled Gut Feeling:  The Intelligence of the Unconscious, this same author writes about "neurologically based behavior that evolved to ensure that we humans respond quickly when faced with a dilemma."  Unfortunately, because human thinking is also prone to flawed and delusional explanation or interpretation (mostly because we are using too much information and logic), we then frequently place artificial explanations to these events such as creating what seems like a clearer picture for ourselves by explaining them away with references to telepathy, magic, the hand of a god or goddess, spirit-guides, and so on.  In reality, Gigerenzer is trying to say that it is still a knowing in which we have no idea how we know it, but that it's all happening quickly and without our conscious awareness of its happening.  This is what psychologists call adaptive unconscious, which is thought to be in an old part of the brain, but which plays an ongoing present-day role still in our every day perceptions and decision making.

The reason realizing these differences is so important when facing the human emotions and feelings of anxiety and depression is that it's important for each individual to know when it's okay to override either logic or intuition.  In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we use techniques which enable us to override various beliefs and ways of thinking that surface from the newest and oldest parts of our brain.  In other words, when do we go against what seems logical and rational, and when do we go against a strong gut feeling that screams some unexplainable awareness to every fiber of our being?  But just as equally important, when do we choose to follow these?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is about "challenging" beliefs of fear and doom (which can be both real or faulty in themselves).  In fact, the field has developed a list of 15 Styles of Faulty Thinking which are used to help clients question the way they use logic to talk themselves into or out of things that can be based on fear and anxiety (or hopelessness and depression), and which surfaces due to present misperceptions, or old styles of faulty unexplainable gut feelings that come from the adaptive unconscious.  

An individual that is very self aware can come to know the difference between hair standing on end because there is static electricity present, and hair standing on end because the fight or flight response has been triggered (either consciously or unconsciously) by we-know-not-what.  Someone that is a good thinker includes intuition in their work (i.e., listening to that gut feeling regardless of logic), but does not put either logic or intuition above the other.  In the spirit of yin and yang, we should work to to welcome both known and unexplainable "knowing" in a balanced perception of ourselves and the world, but do so without silencing one or the other.

"At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason."  ~Albert Einstein

Thanks to Chris Hayes for his artistic digital work  https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/

Improving Anxiety and Depression with Practice and Determination

Trying something for the first time helps us see what we don't know and where we can improve our skills.  Trying again and again tends to create an awareness of how to do something and most of all, how to eventually do it well and with improved performance.  Practice and repetition are how we get better at things, and it's with repetition that we develop confidence in any given skill.  This is why getting back in the saddle after apparent failure is helpful in not giving up or buying into a belief that we "can't" do something.  This is also true when trying to tackle anxiety and depression.

Did you know that there is even an annual Never Give Up Day celebrated each year on August 18th?  The site says that it is all about "cultivating a mindset of determination."  Which is exactly what is needed to work on some of our fears and anxieties, as well as our times of depression and mood change.

How many times have you been working at a project and figured you were never going to get it and were just within inches of giving up on it when the whole thing suddenly fell together and you had an awareness that had you given up, you'd never have seen that you could complete it?  Challenging and working on fears, anxieties and mood changes is the same way.  Working on methods, skills, ideas and approaches to challenging these fears and moods is the best way to eventually discover that you can accomplish things you never thought were within reach.

Anyone who has ever learned to play a musical instrument or become accomplished at running a particular piece of machinery knows that it's with repetition (maybe starting very slow) and determination that we get sharper, faster, better and more skilled at doing something.  No matter if it is with our hands or mind, we start to get the feel for something and our confidence grows.

There are endless stories in the field of sports about those who practiced repeatedly and refused to give up, and eventually went on to win Olympic medals and titles.  This is as true outside the field of sports in areas of business, survival, and personal challenge.  It's also true for those trying to get better and better at facing their anxieties and times of depression.  We know from studies of Learned Helplessness that once an individual buys into the idea that it's all hopeless, things begin to spiral out of control.  So developing a mindset of determination can counter such thinking and help you regroup over and over until you have accomplished the goals you have set out to reach regarding your fears and feelings.

Here are some ideas on how to try again and get back in the saddle when life seems determined to throw you off track:

• Be patient with yourself and know when to take breaks
• Don't avoid returning to your re-attempts at accomplishing your goals
• Think of your task as a challenge to get better at each time you attempt it
• Set realistic goals so you can see the possibility of reaching them
• Start slow and simple to develop small successes to build on
• Recognize where you did well and nudged ahead however small the nudge
• Watch for role models to show you what to do
• Set a steady schedule of practice 

Sometimes the only way to accomplish something is to stop avoiding it.  So, the final idea is to avoid avoidance.  This doesn't mean throwing yourself in the deep end of the pool to learn to swim, it means to stop avoiding the pool completely.  Approach the things you'd like to improve at just a little bit at a time in order to get more comfortable and skilled.  Develop a "can do" attitude and you will go far.

Thanks to Brett Jordan for the great image

Self Talk: The Key to Changing How we Feel

There are a lot of stressors we all face on a daily basis, but there is also an ongoing stress that doesn't necessarily come from the environment.  It comes from inside our minds and the internal pressure we put on ourselves with expectations, poor self-talk and lack of self-compassion.  But we can work on this problem and change the way the internal dialogue plays out from hour to hour.

Self-talk is the internal messages we give ourselves (or say to ourselves) throughout the day.  These messages can be internalized from many sources.  We get them from parents, teachers, friends, and just about anywhere there has been an interaction and information taken inside and felt deeply enough to be held in our memory.

If the messages were negative, abusive, inappropriate, or just misinformed, they are still there regardless of their poor content and they can rise up and repeat at any time.  Many people have a running self-dialogue throughout the day that is quite abusive and unsupportive.  When asked, many of my clients will let me know that their internal self-belief system is one of self-hatred, self-beratement, and self-judgment.  These kinds of internalized messages can trigger anxiety and depression, as well as self-hatred unless the thoughts are stopped and replaced with kinder and more compassionate ideas of self-acceptance.

The way we talk to ourselves can be changed and identifying the internal beliefs about ourselves, intercepting them with strong disputation and logical reasoning, and replacing them with supportive, loving, and self-soothing internal dialogue can result in new feelings that are positive and encouraging.  But it takes practice, repetition, devoted work, and conscious awareness to do this.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is designed to help with this process.  First, by recognizing the beliefs you use to interpret events.  Then, by rationalizing your way through these beliefs to see if they hold any sense of truth, connection to reality, or even form logical conclusions in the end.  By disputing false beliefs, you can begin to snuff them out and return to a more realistic way of looking at the world and yourself.  Where the false beliefs might have been leading to anxiety and depression, the new and more realistic beliefs alter the outcome of how you feel.

Here is a link to a list of 15 styles of distorted thinking (or beliefs) psychcentral most of us use to convince ourselves we're just no good, incapable, or somehow unworthy.  Find the ones that you use the most, and begin the journey of challenging the false beliefs that have tripped you up the most.  Using the ABCDE Model developed by Albert Ellis Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy , you can practice every day to unravel some of this cognitive training that has convinced you that you deserve to be spoken to poorly (by yourself and others). 

"A" is the Activating Event, or what happened in any given situation, "B" is the false belief you are using to process or filter that event in your mind, "C" is the Consequence or Feeling you end up with by doing that (typically anxiety or depression), "D" is the use of Disputations to begin arguing against these false beliefs in your head, and "E" is the new and more positive Emotion you will feel by using more realistic and logic-oriented beliefs to process events in your life.

The way we speak to ourselves makes a big difference in how we feel on an ongoing basis.  Talk to yourself as if you were your own best friend.  No one wants a best friend that berates them and criticizes all day and has very little belief in them.  We want a best friend that is supportive, loving, and wants the best for us.  Be your own best friend!

Thanks to bm for the great abstract art piece, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

New Year's Resolution: Make it a Theme

January brings with it a reset point where many people make New Year's resolutions in hopes of making changes in their lives for the year to come.  However, it's no secret that many resolutions are set in January, broken by February, and nowhere to be seen beyond that point.  Like most goals, if we set them too high, or see only the finish line instead of the many steps to achieving them, they are doomed to fail before they begin.

In fact, a New Year's resolution might be the wrong way of looking at setting new goals for the year, and the pressure can come off when we change these goals and resolutions to "themes". 

Setting themes for the year can allow for progress instead of failure as we turn instead to focus more intently on what we want to change in our lives.  Themes help us pay attention to our intention for change and to keep in mind throughout the year what it is that our focus really is. 

Three of the top 10 New Year's resolutions are about health.  That is:  lose weight, exercise more, and quit smoking.  We can set goals to reach a set weight, exercise a certain number of times per week, or cut down to a certain number of smokes by a certain date.  All of which could turn into failure within a matter of days or weeks if we can't hold to it.  Or, we could also set the themes in motion come January 1st, that meal-time focus will have more intention and better food choices, movement will become something we build right into our lives (such as parking farther from entrances and exits, and taking stairs), and finding other things to do besides going for another smoke, even while lugging our cigarettes around, so as to experience what it's like to say no to self-destructive behavior.

Expanding into travel, new hobbies and adventure are also in the top 10 New Year's resolutions, but it's not uncommon to book things at a time when we feel good and not feel much like doing them when that booked event comes around.  We can also try to force ourselves into events and adventures when the money is not always available nor is the time.  But if we think of these ideas more along the lines of themes, we can put out an intention in the new year to look for adventure when it feels like it fits the schedule, budget and energy level.  This can lead only to success instead of failure and by December we will be able to reflect on the year and know we accomplished a lot more than we thought we might.

A resolution has a lot of determination in it, as well as a lot of push and pressure from within.  But a theme has an intention, and intention gives us an aim, like a compass point we try to sail our ship toward throughout the year.  A theme also has a lot less chance for failure because it's not really a goal that we are setting, but a new place to center our focus in everything we do in the coming year. 

For your "New Year's resolution" consider taking some contemplative time to reflect on what themes you'd like to focus your mind on in the upcoming year.  What would you like to pay more attention to?  What will be your top 3 themes for 2023?

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.       ~Lao Tzu

Thanks to Jesper Sehested for the great photo

Gratitude: A Mind Shift for Depression

As we approach the holiday of Thanksgiving in the United States, thoughts of gratitude become more frequent as many reflect on the year and all it has offered.  This sense of thankfulness could not come at a better time because during the winter months many people suffer from a type of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which comes as the weather changes, days become shorter and the amount of daylight temporarily decreases.  Sometimes called the "winter blues" or "winter depression", this kind of mood change can be recognized by a lack of motivation, fatigue and a noticeable increase in feelings of hopelessness.  Thankfully, exercises in gratitude can work to counter the negative thoughts that sometimes accompany these symptoms of depression. 

Since feelings tend to follow our thoughts, it only makes sense that feelings of depression can accompany negative thoughts.  Therefore, finding ways to intentionally counter the seasonal symptoms of negative thinking in the winter is a very helpful method to having a mind shift that moves the thinking to a more positive place.

When symptoms of depression set in during the cold winter months, a good relapse prevention plan can help in coping with the temporary shift in mood, and can bring the mind back around to focusing on what you would prefer, and therefore bringing the mood around as well.  

Here are some ideas to help you make this cognitive shift into a more appreciative place, and give you a feeling of gratitude for Thanksgiving:

• Whatever the setting at the moment, take a look around and realize what things you are grateful for in your immediate surroundings.
• Think of the top three things that went well this year that could have been much worse.
• Consider the individuals that helped you this year, be it in their words, deeds, or gifts.
• When it comes to your health, notice all the things your body can do and where your health remains good.  What are you grateful for about your body?
• Do you have food, shelter, transportation, running water, warmth, and overall safety?
• Have you been able to experience something special this year, such as a trip, adventure, or even an unexpected visit from someone? 

Sometimes the things we are grateful for don't have to be very impressive, large, noticeable, or even grand.  That the door is fixed, or the faucet no longer leaks, or something as simple as finding your favorite pair of shoes you thought you'd lost or misplaced.  Moving the mind to these things on a regular basis helps to train the brain to go to more thankful places and spending time there helps the mood and gives you one more tool in your bag of tricks to counter balance the winter blues.

Several times a day, take a pause and push yourself to notice three things "right now" that you are grateful for

Thanks to sierralupe for the great photo