ASMR: A Relaxing Sensation for Reducing Stress and Anxiety

ASMR, or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, is a very interesting relaxation phenomenon that existed long before it was named by Jennifer Allen, a cybersecurity professional who had experienced certain bodily sensations throughout her life and found people online talking about similar sensations.  So she got involved in the discussion, started a Facebook page and eventually came up with a name for the phenomenon, which is sometimes called "the tingles".

But be careful here, it's not sex, sexuality, or sexual arousal, yet it gets mixed up with that at times and was quickly headed towards terms like "brain orgasm", or "head orgasm" before Allen specifically selected the word "meridian" in the naming of it to clarify that there is a peak or "climax" of tingling sensation that should not be described as "orgasmic" because the word tends to insinuate a sexual climatic reference.  It is an automatic sensory feeling in the body, a tingling sensation, that frequently begins at the back or top of the head and spreads down across the shoulders and for some, throughout the body.

Okay, that clarified.  Let's look at how ASMR helps many to relax, fall asleep, wind down from the day, or otherwise reduce stress and anxiety.

ASMR is a pleasant, often tingly or relaxing sensation that some people experience in response to particular sounds, visuals or interpersonal situations.  Frequently it involves "no talking", but for some it can include enjoying "soft whispering" sounds, or "mouthed sounds" or the sound of someone talking very lightly to themselves to the point that what is being said can't be made out.

It can include a myriad of things including the sound of someone drawing or painting, the sound of someone working alone without talking regardless of the task, such as shuffling papers on their desk, tapping away at wood working, working on crafts, repairing items at a workbench, etc. 

It can include soft touch such as getting one's hair cut, having a facial, or other similar soft touch, but again, it's not a sexual touch and this is emphasized repetitively in the information about ASMR.

Since there are so many different kinds of stimulating ASMR, and because it is very individualized (meaning some people may be stimulated by a sound like scratching, and another might be stimulated by the sound of particular movements or gestures, let me give you some examples:

From the internet you may find a video of a man who demonstrates doing shoe shinning.  He does not speak, nor does the person who sits for him wearing the shoes who is never seen.  So the videos are of the sound of the entire shoe shine and thus titled ASMR.  Another example might be a woman who demonstrates scrap booking.  You would hear the sounds of her busily working at cutting and pasting, sorting through her various stickers, maybe lighting a candle, but never any talking.  No music in many of these either because it's not music that stimulates ASMR... it's other kinds of sounds and sensations.

The moment someone begins giving instructions, or talking in lecture or teaching or explanation form, it isn't really an ASMR concept anymore.  It's the other perceptual sounds and movements that seem to "autonomously" trigger the start of "the tingles", and most people who experience this describe it as very relaxing.  Many use some of the now millions of ASMR videos online to help them fall asleep, relax, calm down, or otherwise reduce anxiety.

ASMR is not for everyone and it appears that even if some try, they don't seem to be stimulated by these sounds and perceptions.  So for some it is a mysteriously unfamiliar and odd thing.  Some may even find the sounds that stimulate ASMR in some individuals, to be more annoying than relaxing.  So if you don't find ASMR to be interesting, then it's not a method to include in your stress management toolbox.  But if it is something that works for you, the internet now holds so many possibilities to try, that you are in luck for tapping in to a few of these for yourself.

Keep in mind that even individuals who find ASMR helpful will admit that they are not drawn to all forms of ASMR.  In other words, it's very individualized to the person and what causes "the tingles" in one person, does not cause it in others.  

There has been some research done surrounding ASMR and the evidence does show that a person in the ASMR zone demonstrates lower heart rate and increased skin conductance, meaning there are clear measurable physiological changes happening during this state.  Because all attention is drawn to the immediate environment (its sounds and sensations), it is also considered a form of mindfulness practice which has been found to help draw one's mind away from worry thoughts.  EEG studies have shown changes in brainwave activity during this state and the results have shown results "consistent with sustained relaxation".

Because there are so many variations of ASMR, rather than list sample videos in this blog entry, I would instead suggest you think about what kind of sensations might interest you and do your own internet searches.  For ASMR without talking, just specify in your search "ASMR no talking", or if you are interested in some tasks with soft whispering, enter "Soft whispering ASMR".  If you are interested in crafts, you can google "ASMR arts and crafts", or "ASMR scrap booking".  Most of these internet inquiries will lead you to other forms of ASMR videos to try out, so you may have to explore a bit.

Keep in mind that the historic lean to try and make ASMR a "sexual thing" can still be exploited by those on the internet that want to pull this interesting phenomenon of ASMR in the wrong direction.  So use discernment when doing your internet searches.

"Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen to them."       ~Shakti Gawain

Thanks to Tim Reckmann for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en

Sleep Disruption: Taking an Inventory and Changing your Lifestyle

Coffee keeping you awake at night?  Or maybe it's something else.  If you are having trouble with sleep, then you are probably having trouble with a lot of other mental and emotional forms of functioning also, as lack of sleep can enhance the symptoms of depression, anxiety and cognitive functioning.

When you've been having trouble with sleep, you can develop symptoms like irritability, poor concentration, poor response time, and poor decision-making skills.  The lack of rejuvenating rest can lead to a disruption in brain activity, which in turn leads to poor problem-solving skills and poor reaction time.

There are many reasons why people have difficulty sleeping, and from person to person it will vary.  Causes range from medical disorders like sleep apnea, to poor regulation of caffeine intake and lack of exercise.  Taking a very careful inventory and being honest with yourself about the answers is important.  

Don't brush aside two cups of coffee as insignificant, or believe medical conditions like restless leg syndrome are things of irrelevance.  They do matter and they do contribute to why an individual may have insomnia or be waking in the night.  Signing up for a local sleep study can help you discover things you may not know about your own sleep patterns and help you gain advise to address your sleep difficulties.

An honest review of your habits is also important in order to address whether you have developed a lifestyle that has caused you to stay up too late, sleep in too long, or adhere to a diet that is chemically altering your alertness at bedtime.

In addition, having a good routine for preparing for bedtime is also key in developing good habits for a good night's sleep.  You can find my previous blog about ideas for getting ready for bed and increasing your chances of a good night's sleep here.

Thanks to Daniel Max for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Gadget Addiction: Ways to Take Stress-free Breaks from your Electronics

Do you remember the first time you decided to start keeping your cell phone by your bed at night?  Not just charging, but actually turned on and within reach?  Maybe at first it was so the kids could reach you if there was an emergency, or maybe you started using it as an alarm clock or just a clock in the night.  Are there other devices that join it on the night stand?  A pager?  Pedometer?  Digital watch?  Maybe your Kindle reader?  And this is just at the relaxing point of bed and rest.  What about in the kitchen?  What gadgets are there?  Isn't the thermostat a computer now, and the toothbrush, and the coffee maker, and the click of your car key, at least for some advanced automobiles, to start the car before you even go out to enter it?  There are bikes now that will pedal for you if the going gets too strenuous?  I like the idea of that!  The places one can go with such an e-bike.   And who wouldn't when each of these devices makes the lives of humans easier.  Devices take us beyond our human capability to reach knowledge, accomplishments, and finish projects in ways we never could with our human limitations. 

But let's stop for a moment and remember that we are still human beings and humans are not machines or devices.  We "use" devices to help us do things that go beyond our ability (and many within our ability), and so the creation of most of them was, we hope, with good intentions by all.  But the human being has a much more advanced skill than machines do, and that is the discernment to know when to not use machines.  Or at the very least, when to take a break from them.  A machine can know it is over heating or running beyond its capacity and shut down, but a human can know when to step out of the world of gadgets and look up from the screen to see the waterfall or flower right in front of them.

Gadget addiction is a real thing.  One of the most obvious outcomes of excessive use of technology is that humans are becoming increasingly sedentary.  Some may even say "lazy".  Some of the latest artificial intelligence can write a paper for you and come up with all the ideas and suggestions for a problem or solution.  It can even create the most magnificent works of art.  But each time a human decides to give away this ability to think for themselves, or act for themselves, they are slowly becoming an observer, rather than an active person in this life.

So far, the varied research on overuse of gadgets, screens, and technology has revealed that there is a connection with isolation, depression, anxiety, and reduced attention span.  What is still being deciphered is the chicken and the egg problem.  Is it depression and anxiety that leads some to disappear into their devices and use them to try to feel better?  Or is it the devices themselves that are leading human beings to have these outcomes, and all the symptoms that come with them, including insomnia, aggression, lack of motivation, "fear of missing out" (FOMO), reduced self-esteem due to constant online comparisons, eye strain, hand and arm strain, and more.

Many of our gadgets help us to be more efficient in the world, but if we begin to identify with them too much, we can forget our humanness and our human limitations.  Finding ways to take breaks from our electronics can help rest the eyes and body, encourage us to connect more with nature (which we are a part of), and move us to exercise some of the abilities we have been letting machines do for us.  Taking time to step away from these helpful devices can help us keep a sense of balance between the two worlds of human and machine.

Here are some ways to take breaks from your devices:

*Consider shutting your phone off for periods of time (60 minutes to start).

*Try to let places like the dinner table be gadget-free zones.

*Go for a walk and let your eyes focus on something farther away than your screen or phone.

*Go places your devices can't always go or be on, like the sandy beach, the pool, or theater.

*Turn off your notification sounds so you are not prompted to your devices as frequently.

*Read a book or magazine.

You can find my prior blog entry about Gadgets and stress here:  Reducing Stress by Unplugging 

"Technology doesn't just do thing for us.  It does things to us, changing not just what we do, but who we are."     ~Sherry Turkle

Thanks to Jaci XIV for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/

Meaning of Life: It's for You to define

Finding meaning in life has a lot of different definitions to many different people, but it would be fair to say that when people do find meaning in their lives, it frequently comes down to what they devote most of their time, energy and attention to, even if that is just to find meaning in life.  So when contemplating about what matters to you the most, it can be helpful to take a good look at what draws your interest at any given time in order to notice what fascinates you, draws or holds your attention, and energizes you into action. 

Meaningfulness is also guided by what we value most, regardless of how we come to have or hold those values.  Some people devote their lives to a faith or religion, but this means different things to different people.  What is held as a belief or focus for devotion can include things like music, study, philosophy, science, curiosity, sport, meditation, or any number of other interests other than just a god/goddess, doctrine, or faith.

In pockets of any society around the world there are individuals devoting their lives to very specific things that are meaningful to them, such as their children, homes, or careers.  Some people will spend an entire life devoted to just one skill, such as martial arts, automotive repair, hair styling, nursing, animal rescue, prayer, and so on.  And what each of us finds meaningful can and will change depending on where we are in life at any given moment.  Where we might have once devoted all of our time and energy to raising children, completing college studies, or even just perfecting a skateboarding move, can all change as life morphs into something else because what we find meaningful changes.

In addition, though it's fine to look around and see what seems to be meaningful to others, it would be wrong to say that someone else should ever clarify for you what you should devote your life to because finding what is meaningful in life is a personal and constantly changing journey.  An incredible amount of human suffering in the form of anxiety and depression is caused by pressuring others to conform to what is only meaningful to others, rather than themselves.  Insisting that others find the same things meaningful that we find meaningful is to stifle the creativity and freedom of choice that each human being should have the right to own for themselves.

So know this, that if anyone ever tells you that the meaning of life is "x", stop and ask yourself if that is your own truth.  When another tells you that we are here for the purpose of "x", stop and ask yourself if that is a belief you have come to on your own.  When another tries to convince you that you will find meaning in life if you just do, believe, or act as they say, then stop and ask yourself how you will ever find your own way under such circumstances.

You can find a link to my previous blog entry about finding meaning after the pandemic here.

"The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be"     ~Joseph Campbell

Thanks to Bonnie Moreland for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/

New Year's Resolution: Make it a Theme

January brings with it a reset point where many people make New Year's resolutions in hopes of making changes in their lives for the year to come.  However, it's no secret that many resolutions are set in January, broken by February, and nowhere to be seen beyond that point.  Like most goals, if we set them too high, or see only the finish line instead of the many steps to achieving them, they are doomed to fail before they begin.

In fact, a New Year's resolution might be the wrong way of looking at setting new goals for the year, and the pressure can come off when we change these goals and resolutions to "themes". 

Setting themes for the year can allow for progress instead of failure as we turn instead to focus more intently on what we want to change in our lives.  Themes help us pay attention to our intention for change and to keep in mind throughout the year what it is that our focus really is. 

Three of the top 10 New Year's resolutions are about health.  That is:  lose weight, exercise more, and quit smoking.  We can set goals to reach a set weight, exercise a certain number of times per week, or cut down to a certain number of smokes by a certain date.  All of which could turn into failure within a matter of days or weeks if we can't hold to it.  Or, we could also set the themes in motion come January 1st, that meal-time focus will have more intention and better food choices, movement will become something we build right into our lives (such as parking farther from entrances and exits, and taking stairs), and finding other things to do besides going for another smoke, even while lugging our cigarettes around, so as to experience what it's like to say no to self-destructive behavior.

Expanding into travel, new hobbies and adventure are also in the top 10 New Year's resolutions, but it's not uncommon to book things at a time when we feel good and not feel much like doing them when that booked event comes around.  We can also try to force ourselves into events and adventures when the money is not always available nor is the time.  But if we think of these ideas more along the lines of themes, we can put out an intention in the new year to look for adventure when it feels like it fits the schedule, budget and energy level.  This can lead only to success instead of failure and by December we will be able to reflect on the year and know we accomplished a lot more than we thought we might.

A resolution has a lot of determination in it, as well as a lot of push and pressure from within.  But a theme has an intention, and intention gives us an aim, like a compass point we try to sail our ship toward throughout the year.  A theme also has a lot less chance for failure because it's not really a goal that we are setting, but a new place to center our focus in everything we do in the coming year. 

For your "New Year's resolution" consider taking some contemplative time to reflect on what themes you'd like to focus your mind on in the upcoming year.  What would you like to pay more attention to?  What will be your top 3 themes for 2023?

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.       ~Lao Tzu

Thanks to Jesper Sehested for the great photo