Goals: How they help ease Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety

Having and setting goals can help people with depression or anxiety because having them provides structure, purpose and something to work toward.  The difficulty level of the goal depends on what is needed at any given time in life.  Sometimes we are in weakened places and need simple goals just to keep up daily functioning.  Other times we need something more challenge so as to give us something to strive for.  But regardless of the difficulty level, it's important that the goals we set for ourselves be realistic and personally meaningful.

When individuals are depressed, goals provide a way to gradually work to come out of a slump.  Small goals such as just taking a shower, or going for one walk a day, can help to give a little bit of outline to a day that otherwise seems meaningless.  Reaching these small goals helps to build on a sense of accomplishment that encourages the desire to continue those set goals and even strive for new ones.

Anxiety is also a motivator for setting goals and starting small in this arena is also helpful to anyone who suffers from panic attacks, social phobia, generalized anxiety disorder, or any other ways that anxiety may manifest itself in your life.  Setting goals to start off very small, with goals that are easily reachable is key for both depression and anxiety.  Start with things so simple that you know you can complete them.

Outside of depression and anxiety (for those who do not suffer from these), goal setting is a great help in facing existential hurdles in life such as finding meaning and purpose, warding off loneliness and boredom, finding new ways to spend one's time after divorce, addiction, abuse, and even trauma.

When setting goals for yourself keep some things in mind:  First, be realistic.  If you've never mountain climbed before, then setting a goal to summit Mt Everest might be a reach.  But if you'd like to take a beginner's class on climbing, then being realistic about your ability, strength, desire, athleticism can help you determine if the goal is indeed realistic and within your reach.  If unsure, such a goal could begin with smaller goals such as setting appointments to speak with a climbing teacher, or go observe climbers doing the kind of climbing you may like.

Second, be specific about your goals.  A vague goal such as "be more active" might leave you without direction.  But a specific goal stating that you want to walk a mile a day, or look for a softball team to join, or maybe you've been thinking about setting up an exercise room in your home and could set preliminary goals to begin studying what that would require.  If your goal is to "eat better", that might be too unclear and could hide what the real desired goal could be.  So narrowing it down to a very specific goal of what "eating better" will mean.  This can help you reach specific goals and higher levels of success.

Third, make sure the goal is your own, not something others have told you to go after.  It's important that your goals be your own and are meaningful to you personally.  It's also important to resist the urge to try to make the striving and accomplishment too perfectionistic.  So be ready to leave wiggle room for altering the goal, changing your mind about how it will proceed, and finding ways to push through whatever stands in the way.

Goal setting helps to break the cycle of withdraw and inactivity and also helps to prevent avoidance behaviors.  According to the American Psychological Association, going after life goals can fend of depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.  You can find their 2019 article about that here 

Goals don't have to be major or expensive.  They can be as simple as "eating more vegetables" or as complex as "traveling to New Zealand".  If you are suffering from depression, anxiety, boredom or what feels like a meaningless life, consider setting at least one goal.  Start with something very simple.  Exploring a new park or lake, reading a book you heard about, learning yoga, going fishing, etc.  As long as it matters to you, has meaning to your personally, and is realistic and achievable, it's a goal you can aim for.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"     ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Thanks to Melissamade for the great image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Feeling Powerless: Stress and the Way out of Helplessness

I'm hearing from a lot of people lately about how powerless they feel about current events.  Be it the wars around the world, or the economy, or loss of confidence in leadership, the general consensus is that many feel, "There's nothing I can do about it."  Which reminds me of a term I explained a lot in the early years of my career in counseling while doing my practicum in a college campus counseling center using biofeedback machines to help people learn to regulate their stress response.  That term is, Learned Helplessness.

The term was coined by Martin Seligman in the 1960's based on research he did with Steven Maier, which basically found that if we come to believe we are helpless over a situation, we begin to give up.  The research helped us learn a lot about depression in particular, and why symptoms of depression worsen when we feel there is "nothing we can do" to change or help ourselves or a situation.  Anxiety and depression tend to go hand in hand because the more powerless one feels about their anxiety, the more likely they are to also have some level of depression.

But there is an even older concept than Learned Helplessness in my field of study that was around long before I even saw my first client.  It's a term that was popular in addiction recovery circles but applied to many areas of personal growth and self-discovery.  The phrase was created by a religious man, Reinhold Reinbuhr, a theologian who had written it into one of his sermons.   But you don't have to be a religious person to see it has great psychological meaning and truth to it:  "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

The phrase urges us to seek serenity (a state of peacefulness and calm tranquility) in knowing when something is beyond our control.  It's bigger than us, and no matter how hard we might try, we are not going to be able to move it in any direction.  But the second part--the part about finding the courage to change the things we can?  That's a little bit harder.  Probably even harder than the third part of the phrase, which is the wisdom to know the difference between the two, which is hard enough in itself.

Now here is where the two phrases and lessons come together:   It's one thing to realize what we are powerless over, and another thing to overlook that we are not powerless over everything.  There can also be a hidden belief in one's mind that they are also powerless over their ability to have courage to change the things they still have power to change in this world.  Cognitively, if we fall prey to Learned Helplessness, and take the bait of believing we have no power to make changes in the world, then feelings of helplessness and hopelessness get their teeth in, and the giving up begins.  The hopelessness and helplessness get in through the cracks.

Let's look at an example:  Say you are realizing that global pollution is far beyond your personal capacity to change.  You see it, realize it, know it's bigger than you and you begin to let go.  The serenity comes from finding peace in knowing that, though you don't like it very much, you can accept that it's beyond what you could ever do in the days you have left on this planet.  So yes, you give up on any grandiose belief that you could ever single-handedly accomplish such a thing.  Letting go of such an unrealistic expectation is just good self-care.

Yet, that doesn't mean you give up on everything, or on seeing what you can do.  You can't single-handedly save the whole planet, and not even the country you live in.  Nor can you save the entire state or area you reside in.  But if you pull it in closer to home, you might be able to begin seeing something within reach in your own town, community, neighborhood, or possibly just within your own home.  This is the "wisdom to see the difference".

Accepting what you cannot change also helps you begin to see what you can change.  But many of us tend to feel that's not good enough.  We want something bigger.  Grander.  Something that fixes the big problem we already admitted we can't fix.  So it's important to scale it down and accept that your small part matters.  And if it's all each of us can do, then think of how important it is to urge others to do their part.  That is something you are capable of!

It's okay to believe you really are helpless over things far beyond your capacity.  But it doesn't mean you have no power, and it doesn't mean you are helpless over everything.  The wisdom to know the difference is where you can get your power back.  Accepting the smaller scale things that are within your reach really does matter.  This is the part that takes courage.  Moving the desire for a better world into action.

And yes!  We can do better.  We have the capacity as a whole to do better.  Each and every one of us!  And though we are helpless over some large-scale things, we are not helpless over everything.  It takes courage to see that and act nonviolently, and with peace as the ultimate goal.

You can read more about practice and determination in my June 2023 blog entry here

"Courage doesn't always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'."     ~Mary Anne Radmacher

Thans to John Morton for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

The Moving Mind: How we see the World

There is an interesting Zen story about two monks who are looking up at a flagpole. It goes something like this:  "Two monks spend two months looking up at a flagpole as part of their practice.  One says, "The flag is moving."  The other says, "The wind is moving."  They argue back and forth, unable to agree.  When the Zen master walks by, she says, "Neither the flag nor the wind is moving.  Your mind is moving."

There are many versions of this story, but the general interpretation, meaning or lesson is similar in all.  That we are so busy wanting to explain things and have a solid answer, and then defend that view or belief, that we actually miss the present moment and remain unable to see that it's the internal filter of our own minds that make our particular and personal reality what it is.  So attached to our own judgments, interpretations, opinions, views, and expectations, we miss what is really there, right now.  

Your mind is moving.

Where can we see these similar lessons in life?  Two people arguing over how to make the brownies.  Walnuts or no walnuts?  Both missing the reality of their moment together, alive and breathing. Or how about two owners of the same pet arguing over how to have the dog groomed.  Short or with design?  Both missing the potential of a co-created event, and instead miffed about the outcomes.  Then there is the local politics.  Two parties arguing over how to use the town funding.  Invest in local ponds or build a new shooting range?  Each sure of their stance and all missing the opportunity for real compromise in the present.  Finally, what about the warring countries?  Each defending their personal view, politics, or religion, and overlooking the destruction of bombs on an already dying and environmentally threatened planet they share.

It was the American Zen teacher, Joko Beck, author of Everyday Zen and Nothing Special, who wrote about how it is our minds that create suffering and separation, and she spoke at length about how we humans can be so cruel and harmful to one another since we all judge and react from that place of the moving mind.  That internal filter we are so attached to and so defensive of.  Not one of us is free of this human flaw.  But we can get a little better over time if we realize the Zen master was right.  "Your mind is moving".  It's not a good or bad thing.  It's just something to notice and pay attention to.

When it comes to things like depression or anxiety, even anger or resentment, we could say, don't blame the flag or the wind.  Look instead to your one moving mind.  What is it doing?  How is it hanging on to its own view, its own belief system, its own judgment about your depression or anxiety?  Look for the purest awareness of reality you can find.  We could argue at length about the causes of these as well as anger and resentment.  But what is real?  What is opinion?  What is belief?  What is actually happening?  Do you truly know?  You can theorize it's the traffic or your irritation with your spouse, but if you pause you can try one step further in looking with your purest mind's awareness and see that no matter the cause, your mind is having its say about it.

Sometimes we interpret situations as more dangerous than they really are.  This sends messages to the body that there is danger when there isn't and the body reacts.  Sometimes we see things happening in the world and tell ourselves, "It's all hopeless", when it isn't.  This sends messages to the body to give up, and it reacts.  We can look out at our country today and see the behavior of fellow citizens and we create a story in our head.  "It's the flag moving", or "It's the wind".  But don't forget what makes those views your own.  Your Mind is Moving

You can read more about mindsets and cognitive restructuring in one of my earlier blog entries from February 2020 here

"Anxiety is always a gap between the way things are and the way we think they ought to be"     Joko Beck

Thanks to Kitty Terwolbeck for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Autumn Walk: A Mindfulness Practice

Autumn is a perfect time to let walking be your mindfulness practice.  It is full of all the richness that brings the senses alive and it's one of the healthiest and safest exercises for the human body.

A helpful exercise when practicing mindfulness is to focus on the senses, and a relaxing walk among the smells, sights and sounds of Autumn can be the perfect combination for staying in the present moment.

When our racing minds begin to take off to the future with worried "what-if" thinking, or when they drift to the past with messages of how things "should" have been, or "could" have been, then we are not present.  But mindfulness practices that bring us right into our senses can help with this.  The sounds, smells, view, feel and even the tastes we experience in the present moment are all that really exist.  We can consider the past and bring information from it to the present to help us solve something or move forward, and we can consider those worries about the future in order to apply action to productive worry, but letting our minds live in the past or future only leads to prolong feelings of depression and anxiety.  

Don't worry.  You're not alone if your mind tends to drift off into the past or future quite often, but you can get better and better at staying in the present by apply daily practices that exercise your ability to return to the present over and over again.  The more you practice mindfulness, the more frequently you will be present and the less you will suffer from the consequences of living in symptoms of depression and anxiety that are triggered by thoughts, and not reality.

A beautiful and relaxing Autumn walk is perfect for these kinds of mindfulness practices.  In such an environment you can intentionally pay attention to the brilliant changing colors all around you.  Fall is a time of year that offers carpeted paths of fallen leaves of shades ranging from yellow and green, to orange and red.  The changing environment around you will also offer the smells of the changing season.  Damp leaves and transforming forest floors produce the smells of the shifting season as the trees around you are shedding their growth for the coming winter. 

There is something about walking among all those leaves that also has a feel of insulation that softens sound.  Depending on where you live, you will also hear the sound of the traveling birds as they make their way south this time of year, and other animals will be busy in the bush preparing their winter homes and food supply.

As you zero in on these senses during your walk, you may not notice it but your mind is no longer racing into the future with worry or drifting into the past with sorrow, regret, and other emotions that surface.  These changes also preventing any ongoing unnecessary symptoms that those memories or worries create in your present moment.

Here is an exercise for your Autumn walk.  Spend 5 minutes on each statement, rotating through them repeatedly throughout your walk:  "What do I see?", "What do I hear?", "What do I smell?", "What do I taste?", and "What do I feel?"  The very last one listed here is not about feeling emotionally or psychologically, but what you feel physically, such as the temperature, or the sun on your face, or your clothing on your body, etc.  In addition, if you do not detect something in one of your senses, that's okay.  For instance, if you are not eating anything, or do not have gum or anything else in your mouth, you might not really taste anything at the moment, and that's okay.  Just move to the next sense and continue.

This is a beautiful time of year to get outside and enjoy the mild temperatures, as well as the beautiful colors and smells.  They say there is no time like the present, but the truth is that the present is the only time that really exists.  So it should say, "There is no time but the present". 

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree."     ~EmilyBronte

Thanks to Sebnem Gulfidan for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Gadget Addiction: Ways to Take Stress-free Breaks from your Electronics

Do you remember the first time you decided to start keeping your cell phone by your bed at night?  Not just charging, but actually turned on and within reach?  Maybe at first it was so the kids could reach you if there was an emergency, or maybe you started using it as an alarm clock or just a clock in the night.  Are there other devices that join it on the night stand?  A pager?  Pedometer?  Digital watch?  Maybe your Kindle reader?  And this is just at the relaxing point of bed and rest.  What about in the kitchen?  What gadgets are there?  Isn't the thermostat a computer now, and the toothbrush, and the coffee maker, and the click of your car key, at least for some advanced automobiles, to start the car before you even go out to enter it?  There are bikes now that will pedal for you if the going gets too strenuous?  I like the idea of that!  The places one can go with such an e-bike.   And who wouldn't when each of these devices makes the lives of humans easier.  Devices take us beyond our human capability to reach knowledge, accomplishments, and finish projects in ways we never could with our human limitations. 

But let's stop for a moment and remember that we are still human beings and humans are not machines or devices.  We "use" devices to help us do things that go beyond our ability (and many within our ability), and so the creation of most of them was, we hope, with good intentions by all.  But the human being has a much more advanced skill than machines do, and that is the discernment to know when to not use machines.  Or at the very least, when to take a break from them.  A machine can know it is over heating or running beyond its capacity and shut down, but a human can know when to step out of the world of gadgets and look up from the screen to see the waterfall or flower right in front of them.

Gadget addiction is a real thing.  One of the most obvious outcomes of excessive use of technology is that humans are becoming increasingly sedentary.  Some may even say "lazy".  Some of the latest artificial intelligence can write a paper for you and come up with all the ideas and suggestions for a problem or solution.  It can even create the most magnificent works of art.  But each time a human decides to give away this ability to think for themselves, or act for themselves, they are slowly becoming an observer, rather than an active person in this life.

So far, the varied research on overuse of gadgets, screens, and technology has revealed that there is a connection with isolation, depression, anxiety, and reduced attention span.  What is still being deciphered is the chicken and the egg problem.  Is it depression and anxiety that leads some to disappear into their devices and use them to try to feel better?  Or is it the devices themselves that are leading human beings to have these outcomes, and all the symptoms that come with them, including insomnia, aggression, lack of motivation, "fear of missing out" (FOMO), reduced self-esteem due to constant online comparisons, eye strain, hand and arm strain, and more.

Many of our gadgets help us to be more efficient in the world, but if we begin to identify with them too much, we can forget our humanness and our human limitations.  Finding ways to take breaks from our electronics can help rest the eyes and body, encourage us to connect more with nature (which we are a part of), and move us to exercise some of the abilities we have been letting machines do for us.  Taking time to step away from these helpful devices can help us keep a sense of balance between the two worlds of human and machine.

Here are some ways to take breaks from your devices:

*Consider shutting your phone off for periods of time (60 minutes to start).

*Try to let places like the dinner table be gadget-free zones.

*Go for a walk and let your eyes focus on something farther away than your screen or phone.

*Go places your devices can't always go or be on, like the sandy beach, the pool, or theater.

*Turn off your notification sounds so you are not prompted to your devices as frequently.

*Read a book or magazine.

You can find my prior blog entry about Gadgets and stress here:  Reducing Stress by Unplugging 

"Technology doesn't just do thing for us.  It does things to us, changing not just what we do, but who we are."     ~Sherry Turkle

Thanks to Jaci XIV for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/

Summer Solstice: Our Seasonal Changing Mood

As I write this blog it is the Summer Solstice 2024.  It's a time for rejuvenation and a celebration of revitalized energy.  Looking at my calendar I also see it is a full moon.  So symbolic for the season and, according to NASA, this is the first time in 40 years that the full moon has fallen on the first day of Summer.  It's called a "Strawberry Moon" because it is the peak season for harvesting strawberries in the Northeast.   It's the day of the year with the most amount of daylight and the least amount of darkness.  So of course, those prone to depression tend to feel a bit better this time of year as the revitalization of the season fills them up and gives them more energy.

Basically, this is the time of year where our species has found various ways to celebrate the life-giving force of the sun and celebrate the way it aids in the growing of everything we know on this planet to be life giving and life sustaining.  This includes the way it boosts human energy and mood in a way that gives us more desire to be active and do things, which in turn can help with exercise and sleep patterns.

We think of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) as something that only happens in the Winter with increased cases of depression and sadness, but with warm weather comes the stress of heat and for some the increased levels of energy during the Summer can lead to increased occurences of anxiety symptoms and usher in a different kind of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Some of the ways that SAD looks different in the Summer is that since energy levels rise in the body people can experience things such as anxiety, insomnia, and restlessness, and because there is more daylight we tend to get to bed later or even stay up late to enjoy the cool of the night, which can lead to loss of sleep needed to get through the next day.  So believe it or not, even depression can set in over time, just like it does in the Winter.

Ways to regulate mood in the Summer include keeping a regular schedule for your sleep wake cycle, staying cool and hydrated, as well as practicing your relaxation techniques on a regular basis including meditation, abdominal breathing, exercise, and daily journaling.  Exercise is easier and more accessible in the summer, so get out and partake in everything from walking and hiking, to summer sports and activities in the parks.  Be sure to counter-balance that, however, with rest and relaxation and take in that great summer revitalization by soaking in gentle hot springs, lounging a bit on the deck or at the pool side or beach, and relaxing in the cool evenings that are geared at regulating body temperatures after a long hot day.

Our ancestors celebrated this time of year by building bonfires and dancing around them (even leaping over them) in festive ritual.  A more modern idea is to consider writing words or phrases on paper that you want to let go of for the year and burning them in the fire to "let them go".   You can celebrate with some hydrating foods like watermelon, grapes and fruit.  And be sure to go out and try to see that wonderful rare Strawberry Moon tonight.  All of your whole body knows what time of year it is!

You can find my earlier blog entry about Seasonal Affective Disorder here

"I have only to break into the tightness of a strawberry, and I see summer--its dust and lowering sky."     ~Toni Morrison

Thanks to Nigel Hoult for the great photo

Relapse Prevention: Making changes now to be ready later

When the seasons change in the spring and summer months our human bodies tend to wake up a bit from our winter slumber.  We have a lot more energy this time of year and motivation rises to match the increased number of hours we are exposed to daylight.  These changes bring great opportunity to be more active, get things done, and work on personal improvements, as well as work on our stress management and relapse prevention plans.

With more sunshine and longer days comes a boost in serotonin and a much better sleep/wake schedule.  There is a noticeable increase in desire to do things, but it's best to keep track of the calendar because these warm and energetic times of the year only last so long depending on where you are at in the world.  For those here in Colorado, the season is roughly 16 weeks long from June through September.  Therefore, many people capitalize on this time of year to get in those vacation, home improvements, and outdoor activities they love so much.  It's also the time to capitalize on motivation that might be missing in the winter months, and with this motivation comes the energy and desire to revise your relapse prevention plan, be those for substance abuse, depression, or anxiety.  Plan to do it now while the desire and energy are here!

According to Psych Central your plan should include several things including, recognizing your red flags or "triggers", developing alternative activities, avoiding situations that you know are dangerous for your sense of wellbeing, and two very important other factors, which are to rehearse how you plan to respond when situations arise that trigger you, as well as have your stress management techniques at hand and ready to be used when the situation calls for it (i.e., such as during the holidays, shortened days of sunlight, and more hectic times of year concerning interrelations with family and friends).

Preparing now in the warmer months while energy and motivation are high is like buying yourself an early gift and wrapping it up to open later.  Having a plan for yourself now, or revising and updating the one you already have, is a great act of self-maintenance, self-love, and self-care, just like keeping up on your exercise or dental care.  It's something you will thank yourself for later when the days once again grow short and stay darker longer, and when your motivation is once again low.

You can find my prior blog entry about relapse prevention here

"What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make."    ~Jane Goodall

Thanks to Larissa S for the great photo

Meaning of Life: It's for You to define

Finding meaning in life has a lot of different definitions to many different people, but it would be fair to say that when people do find meaning in their lives, it frequently comes down to what they devote most of their time, energy and attention to, even if that is just to find meaning in life.  So when contemplating about what matters to you the most, it can be helpful to take a good look at what draws your interest at any given time in order to notice what fascinates you, draws or holds your attention, and energizes you into action. 

Meaningfulness is also guided by what we value most, regardless of how we come to have or hold those values.  Some people devote their lives to a faith or religion, but this means different things to different people.  What is held as a belief or focus for devotion can include things like music, study, philosophy, science, curiosity, sport, meditation, or any number of other interests other than just a god/goddess, doctrine, or faith.

In pockets of any society around the world there are individuals devoting their lives to very specific things that are meaningful to them, such as their children, homes, or careers.  Some people will spend an entire life devoted to just one skill, such as martial arts, automotive repair, hair styling, nursing, animal rescue, prayer, and so on.  And what each of us finds meaningful can and will change depending on where we are in life at any given moment.  Where we might have once devoted all of our time and energy to raising children, completing college studies, or even just perfecting a skateboarding move, can all change as life morphs into something else because what we find meaningful changes.

In addition, though it's fine to look around and see what seems to be meaningful to others, it would be wrong to say that someone else should ever clarify for you what you should devote your life to because finding what is meaningful in life is a personal and constantly changing journey.  An incredible amount of human suffering in the form of anxiety and depression is caused by pressuring others to conform to what is only meaningful to others, rather than themselves.  Insisting that others find the same things meaningful that we find meaningful is to stifle the creativity and freedom of choice that each human being should have the right to own for themselves.

So know this, that if anyone ever tells you that the meaning of life is "x", stop and ask yourself if that is your own truth.  When another tells you that we are here for the purpose of "x", stop and ask yourself if that is a belief you have come to on your own.  When another tries to convince you that you will find meaning in life if you just do, believe, or act as they say, then stop and ask yourself how you will ever find your own way under such circumstances.

You can find a link to my previous blog entry about finding meaning after the pandemic here.

"The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be"     ~Joseph Campbell

Thanks to Bonnie Moreland for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/

Reducing Stress: Seeing your New Year Resolutions through to the End

It's a new year and fresh starts are always a clean slate, allowing a way to put some things behind you and begin again. 

According to a new survey from Forbes Health, the top resolutions for 2024 are to improve fitness, finances and mental health.  So it's clear that people really want to do well, take care of themselves, stay out of debt and feel better emotionally and psychologically.  But where do we begin?

Reaching these kinds of goals takes a lot of determination and consistency in behavior and schedule.  So finding ways to approach the problems of inconsistency and broken schedules is a great place to begin.  In other words, how to stay on track with your new goals and themes for the year.

Here is a simple method to consider:  First, limit the plan to as few items as possible.  Second, keep the goal and expectation within reach (even a little low if necessary).  Third, place expectations and consistency at an equal level.  So the summary of the plan is:  A) few items, B) expectations within reach, and C) keeping expectations and consistency equal.

So here is an example:  Let's say you want to lose 10 pounds.  The first step is to keep that simple, not decide it also includes joining a gym, running 5 miles a day to reach it, altering your entire diet, and increasing the number of times you walk the dog a day to increase steps all to reach the goal of losing 10 pounds.  Instead, the simple goal is just one goal, and that is to drop 10 pounds.  

Next, you want to set the expectations for your 10 pound weight loss within reasonable reach.  Calculating a reasonable number of pounds to drop per week, how to do that based on caloric intake and caloric burning, and determine a reasonable amount of activities or diet restrictions that can actually be reached on a daily and weekly basis.  The key wording her is "reasonable expectations" of yourself and the diet, not unreasonable or even impossible.

Finally, you would determine what you can reasonably do on a consistent basis to reach these tasks and goal.  Such as how far you can reasonably run if not 5 miles a day, and how many sit up or miles walked can your reasonably or actually fit in to your busy schedule without overloading yourself and starting to fail at the  task?

Last year I wrote about setting "themes" for your New Year instead of "resolutions" or "goals".  With that in mind, set these new target activities in your life as themes to focus on and not some end-all place to reach.  Especially when it comes to tasks like dieting, where it's the lifestyle that is to change on a regualr basis and not just a number that is to be reached.

If your goal is to spend less money.  Try outlining that goal with this three-part plan.  One, keep it simple.  Don't try to stop your daily latte', plus cut your grocery bill in half, plus cut out your Amazon shopping, and have your cable disconnected all at once.  Start with something small that helps you learn to discontinue one thing consistently.  If that item is within a reasonable level of expectation and you know you can do it, then try the easier task first.  If, say, you just focus on cutting out the daily latte' and have a pretty good idea that that first goal is reachable, and that you can easily reach that expectation of yourself, then let that be enough at first.  Being able to show yourself you can cut that item out over time leads to an overall feeling of success, which sets you up to try a second item on your financial goals list.

Whatever changes you have decided to tackle for the New Year, make sure they are simple, reachable, and you feel confident you can stay steadily after them until you reach success.

You can see my previous blog entry about ways to stick to your New Years resolution here.

"Motivation is what gets your started, habit is what keeps you going."    ~Jillian Michaels

Thanks to Nan Fry for her great image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Holiday Relapse Risks: Making a Plan to Stay on Track

It's that time of year again as we are in the heart of the holiday season, and though it is exciting and joyful for some, it can also be stressful for many.  Be it financial strain, the rush and hurry of shopping, or just the planning and scheduling to meet with family and friends.  All are potential triggers for a long list of mental health and addiction problems.

The time-frame between Thanksgiving and New Years contains some of the highest levels of drinking during the entire year.  It's believed these excesses of drinking nearly double from normal use for many and tend to be highest on Thanksgiving Eve, Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, when people know they have the next day off.

In addition, depression and anxiety worsen during the holidays and are typically triggered, again, by the increased levels of stress.  Holiday parties at work and with friends, as well as gatherings with family who have the potential of pushing one another's buttons during family gatherings, all can trigger even higher levels of stress than normal and lead to increased levels of depression and anxiety.  These events are worsened in the presence of Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is more prominent in the winter months, but they can also worsen already treated mental health conditions which can become destabilized under the stress of the holiday rush.

Relapse prevention plans are the key to getting through the holidays.  That goes for both addictive issues and mental health issues.  Relapse prevention is how "high risk" situations are prevented and how stressful situations that can trigger a return to either abusive levels of addictive behavior, or situations that can trigger depression or anxiety, are prevented.

With relapse prevention, one of the first things to determine and know about yourself is what your triggers are, and then to have key stress reducing plans and techniques in place for coping with the emotions surrounding these situations before they get a chance to tip the scales and heighten the risk for relapse.

Below you will find some helpful links from Psych Central to help you along your path to creating your own holiday relapse prevention plans for addiction and mental health concerns.  Whatever you do, don't put it off.  It's always worth planning in advance to keep yourself on track and find the success you want:

*Tips for Managing Triggers during Addiction Recovery:  https://psychcentral.com/addictions/5-tips-for-managing-triggers-during-addiction-recovery#identifying-triggers

*Relapse Prevention:  https://psychcentral.com/lib/relapse-prevention#1

*Cognitive Reminders to help you Cope with a Depression Relapse:  https://psychcentral.com/depression/the-fear-of-relapse-cognitive-tools 

"Today I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself."   ~Meldoy Beattie

Thanks to Tom lpri for the great holiday image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Gratitude: Practicing Thankfulness Year-Round

Thanksgiving is a time for gathering, feasting, and giving thanks, but giving thanks is a helpful exercise to get in the habit of year-round.  Recognizing what we are grateful for can help us move our awareness from the many forms of faulty thinking that tend to lead to depression and anxiety, and shift us toward a more consistent habit of thankfulness for what we have right now. 

In any given situation we have the option to focus on what we already have before us and in our lives.  Because our brains are geared to watch for dangers, we sometimes forget how wonderful and miraculous our lives are, including the things we have in them, and the situations we experience.

Has someone helped you recently?  Did you catch a break on some discount, deadline, or deal?  Are you glad the roof doesn't leak, and the car runs, or that the kids or pets are healthy this month?  Did something finally get solved or resolved?  Maybe some problem, glitch, or issue that was annoying and irritating?  And what about the most mundane things we forget to acknowledge as "good today" or "good this very moment".  

What we don't notice is that our monkey mind tends to wander off to the past and the future, ruminating about how things should have been, should be now, and about how terrible they can end up in the future unless we worry hard enough to prevent bad things from happening (which of course is not possible).  So gratefulness is a great Mindfulness exercise.  We can ask ourselves, "What am I thankful for right at this very moment?"  

The next time you are sitting at a traffic light with nothing much to do but wait for the light to change, ask yourself in that moment, "What are three things I am grateful for right now?"  Maybe you are grateful that the roads are clear and it's a sunny day.  Or maybe you are grateful the traffic is not too bad at the moment.  It can be anything at all.  

You can make a new habit of giving thanks at key times throughout your day.  Maybe think of three things you are grateful for while waking in the morning and preparing for your day.  Or maybe finding thankfulness in the evening before going to bed.  You can build these moments of gratitude into any part of your day and make them habit forming, just like brushing your teeth or taking a shower.  It takes practice at first, but repetition makes the behavior.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy all you feel grateful for.  Then spread that Thankfulness throughout the year, making every day a day of thanks.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have, you'll never, ever have enough."  ~Oprah Winfrey

Thanks to Faith Goble for the great festive image

Exercise for Winter and Health

Fall is a time of creativity, relaxation, and beauty as nature transforms into a colorful landscape of turning leaves and changing weather.  It's also a time when energy levels change, which is not too unlike the bear that prepares to hibernate and preserves its energy for winter.  But we humans still need movement and exercise even though our bodies would prefer to slow down this time of year, and finding the motivation for exercise is not always easy when days are shorter and temperatures begin to drop.  Yet exercise is key in reducing and maintaining levels of anxiety and depression, so nudging yourself to do at least a little bit is worthwhile.

There are some good exercises that are better suited for the cooler months.  Let's take a look at some of them:

During the Fall and before the first snow, bike riding is still a great way to keep the body moving.  It doesn't have to be competitive or even highly strenuous, but even gentle slow riding among the beautiful Fall colors can only help in keeping you active. 

Yoga is a gentle exercise that can be done with a group or class, or alone at home with the aid of a guided video instruction.  It's, most often done indoors during the cooler months, it is sure to keep the muscles warm and loose to prevent injury and keep you limber year-round.

Walking is always a good exercise in the cooler months because it not only keeps the body warmer, but can be done on indoor tracks or out in the elements no matter what the weather.  Be sure to not over or under dress as too much sweating can lead to getting cold at some point, and not being warm enough can lead to discomfort and the early abandonment of a good workout.  Once it's too cold to be out in the elements, walking can be done indoors on a treadmill.

Outdoor winter sports are a great way to get outside in the colder months and to also get some sunlight which helps with vitamin D and depression.  Snowboarding, skiing, sledding, ice skating, and snow shoeing are all great ways to get the body moving and keep the muscles functioning well when the body would prefer to curl up on the sofa and do nothing.

Winter hiking is a "thing", but you need to be prepared for slippery surfaces and plan for traction with every step.  Use a good winter hiking boot and be sure to carry a set of "crampon" ice cleats, and a set of hiking poles to help you maintain your balance while in rough terrain.

The main thing is to keep moving even when the weather seems to want to drive you indoors and out of the natural elements during the changing seasons, and especially in the colder winter months.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer"  ~Albert Camus

Thanks to  Charles Knowles for the great seasonal photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Preparing for Autumn Mood Changes

Autumn is a favored time of year for many.  It's a time of beautiful changing colors as the season transitions from warm to cool, and a time for other kinds of transitions as well, such as what we crave to eat and drink, how our energy manifests, and of course what our mood may be.  As the days shorten and melatonin levels change in our bodies, this time of year can be a little more melancholy for some than for others.  Psychologically, it's the time of year for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  A time when some people are prone to depression and need a good plan in place to ride out the season with the best coping skills they can find.

SAD is believed to be a mood change caused by melatonin levels changing in the body due to the way the light changes this time of year.  As the days shorten (meaning shorter durations of light) our bodies change as well.  Higher melatonin levels tend to help our bodies prepare for sleep, making us tired and ready to slow down, and it increases (or builds up) in the body when there is less light.  Melatonin levels decrease when there is more light which tends to suppress the production of melatonin as light enters the eyes.  Therefore the higher levels of melatonin in the body during the Fall and Winter months tends to affect some people more severely than others, leading to symptoms of depression.  This can include feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, sluggishness, fatigue, decreased interest in activities, sleep disturbances, poor concentration and depressed feelings for most of each day.  It's believed that lower serotonin level as well as lower vitamin D levels also play a role in SAD but the research is still out.

The best plan for SAD is to try preparing from many angles for the time of year you know you will be affected by the seasonal change the most.  Taking extra vitamin D, consulting with your doctor about getting on antidepressant medications, setting up regular psychotherapy sessions this time of year with your counselor, and most of all looking into ways to get some "light therapy" which can help suppress the production of too much melatonin.

Both vitamin D and light therapy can be obtained by making sure you don't hunker down inside too much.  Getting outside to absorb as much sunlight as you can is important, but it's a little harder since the cold temperatures tend to make us all want to stay indoors as the seasons change.  Consider some outdoor activates that might be popular in cooler weather such as skiing, snow shoeing, sledding, and even Fall and Winter hiking.  Even just getting out for walks in the daylight, regardless of the temperature, is a good idea.  The exercise involved in many of these activities can also help boost your serotonin levels, so it's all-around good therapy.

You can also try many of the various forms of light therapy devices designed to provide your body with light exposure.  These "light boxes" are much brighter than regular indoor lights and you can sit in front of them for 30 min to an hour each morning during these darker times of the year.  Make sure you get appropriate lights that filter out damaging UV light and are marked as safe for your body and eyes.

You don't have to fall passive to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  Be proactive and do all you can now to prepare for the changing season and changing moods.

"It always takes me by surprise how dark it gets this time of year",  ~To a Poet, First Aid Kit

Thanks to Bonnie Moreland for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/

Intuition: An Old Trusted Friend when facing Anxiety and Depression

Intuition...defined as "the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning."  In other words, intuition is when we just somehow know something and don't know why we know it.  We just do.  

Intuition might have been misrepresented by Bruce Kasanoff when he wrote about it in his article for Forbes magazine in 2017 and used the title "Intuition is the Highest form of Intelligence", but what he might have been trying to say to his readers was that one thing we learned from the very intelligent Einstein--who by the way existed before IQ tests were developed in 1905, but has an estimated IQ somewhere between 160 and 190--is that Einstein tried to tell us that intuition is no insignificant part of most intelligent decisions and discoveries ever made in human history, and that actually some of the most intelligent decisions could not have been made without acknowledging intuition and its part in our human perception and decision making processes. 

To bring intuition down off the pedestal Kasanoff put it on in his title, and carry it along with the rest of the human skills we possess, we might more accurately say that intuition is considered to be something all people use to help them make decisions, along with the reasoning mind, which can sometimes either miss things or go off in the wrong direction, especially if intuition is ignored.  It would be as equally fair to say that intuition can sometimes go off in the wrong direction as well, but in reality, if we have wandered off into delusional thinking, then that is no longer intuition.  So let's keep this real.  Intuition is that "gut feeling", it's a knowing something without knowing how you know it.  It can "also" be inaccurate, just as logic can miss the mark, but it is not the same thing as delusion or illusion, and it doesn't follow the typical scientific rational methods of reaching conclusions by use of reason.  So we need a balance of reason and intuition.  Intuition is something knowable that has been experienced by many, but is outside the reach of knowing "how" we know, and can't always be explained in any form of logic or reason. 

Giger Gigerenzer, author of The Intelligence of Intuition, which will be released soon in September 2023, refers to intuition as a form of heuristics.  By that he means that it's a way humans "fill in the gap" where knowledge isn't actually there, in order to come to a quick conclusion about something.  In his earlier book from 2008 titled Gut Feeling:  The Intelligence of the Unconscious, this same author writes about "neurologically based behavior that evolved to ensure that we humans respond quickly when faced with a dilemma."  Unfortunately, because human thinking is also prone to flawed and delusional explanation or interpretation (mostly because we are using too much information and logic), we then frequently place artificial explanations to these events such as creating what seems like a clearer picture for ourselves by explaining them away with references to telepathy, magic, the hand of a god or goddess, spirit-guides, and so on.  In reality, Gigerenzer is trying to say that it is still a knowing in which we have no idea how we know it, but that it's all happening quickly and without our conscious awareness of its happening.  This is what psychologists call adaptive unconscious, which is thought to be in an old part of the brain, but which plays an ongoing present-day role still in our every day perceptions and decision making.

The reason realizing these differences is so important when facing the human emotions and feelings of anxiety and depression is that it's important for each individual to know when it's okay to override either logic or intuition.  In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we use techniques which enable us to override various beliefs and ways of thinking that surface from the newest and oldest parts of our brain.  In other words, when do we go against what seems logical and rational, and when do we go against a strong gut feeling that screams some unexplainable awareness to every fiber of our being?  But just as equally important, when do we choose to follow these?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is about "challenging" beliefs of fear and doom (which can be both real or faulty in themselves).  In fact, the field has developed a list of 15 Styles of Faulty Thinking which are used to help clients question the way they use logic to talk themselves into or out of things that can be based on fear and anxiety (or hopelessness and depression), and which surfaces due to present misperceptions, or old styles of faulty unexplainable gut feelings that come from the adaptive unconscious.  

An individual that is very self aware can come to know the difference between hair standing on end because there is static electricity present, and hair standing on end because the fight or flight response has been triggered (either consciously or unconsciously) by we-know-not-what.  Someone that is a good thinker includes intuition in their work (i.e., listening to that gut feeling regardless of logic), but does not put either logic or intuition above the other.  In the spirit of yin and yang, we should work to to welcome both known and unexplainable "knowing" in a balanced perception of ourselves and the world, but do so without silencing one or the other.

"At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason."  ~Albert Einstein

Thanks to Chris Hayes for his artistic digital work  https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/

Unrealistic Expectations and Disappointment

Since COVID came on the scene many people have a heightened awareness of the concept of uncertainty and how it plays a role in our lives.  Uncertainty lies at the heart of many forms of fear and anxiety as we are never sure of any guaranteed security, consistency, or reliability of the foundations of our day to day lives.  So we build up the best expectation we can put together based on information, patterns, perception, and any other pieces of data we are able to apply to the situation in order to attempt to get a feel for how things might pan out.  From all of this information we develop a belief about something.  This belief helps us decipher how it will end up or what the most likely thing is to occur.  But when that outcome doesn't happen, disappointment sets in and that is a form of suffering.

These three concepts:  Uncertainty, Expectation, and Disappointment,  make a frequently traveled circular pattern for many of us.  These three feed on one another and can produce a cyclical pattern of thinking and feeling that leads to anxiety and depression.  But this pattern can be interrupted by focusing on the middle concept... Expectations.

Expectations are beliefs we create in our minds about how something will potentially turn out.  Our belief about the situation or event is sometimes based on fact, but other times our expectations can be built on false beliefs that have built-in unrealistic qualities that are sure to fail since being unrealistic in the first place makes them impossible to achieve and create a delusional scenario not even based in reality.

Perfectionists know this all too well in that they might create unrealistic expectations for themselves and others that can never be reached or would require sacrifices that in themselves are unrealistic, so failure is guaranteed and with failure comes disappointment.  These series of events lead only to a sinking feeling of defeat which can be accompanied by a lot of negative self-talk, discouraging thoughts and false beliefs that lead to hopelessness.

Here are some things to keep in mind when setting goals with realistic expectations:

• Take an inventory of information you have to date about any given situation you are working with.  This information can guide you about what is realistic to expect of yourself and others based on evidence to date.  This past information serves as your foundation to get started.
• Know that what is realistic for one person is not the same for someone else.  You may have high expectations for yourself, but putting these on others may be unrealistic because well... they aren't you, and for them it isn't the same thing.  Also, don't expect yourself to live up to the expectations that others place on themselves.  Expectations are not the same for everyone.
• Remind yourself that expectation level for ourselves and others is like a moving target.  You might be able to accomplish something next year, but not this year.  You might be able to expect something from your boss or employees today, but maybe you can't expect it all the time.  The level and realistic quality of expectations changes all the time.  Assess the given situation realistically.
• Make sure you've built flexibility into your expectations so you can make adjustments as you go.  In other words, don't be so rigid with tasks and projects that you leave no room for changing your mind, realizing you need to take a break or let up on something a little.  Or maybe you realize you set your goals and tasks too light and can pick up the pace more than you thought.  Be ready and willing to change your mind, readjust, and change the game plan if necessary.

"Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."  ~Brene Brown

Thanks to Kristian Bjornard for the great photo

Improving Anxiety and Depression with Practice and Determination

Trying something for the first time helps us see what we don't know and where we can improve our skills.  Trying again and again tends to create an awareness of how to do something and most of all, how to eventually do it well and with improved performance.  Practice and repetition are how we get better at things, and it's with repetition that we develop confidence in any given skill.  This is why getting back in the saddle after apparent failure is helpful in not giving up or buying into a belief that we "can't" do something.  This is also true when trying to tackle anxiety and depression.

Did you know that there is even an annual Never Give Up Day celebrated each year on August 18th?  The site says that it is all about "cultivating a mindset of determination."  Which is exactly what is needed to work on some of our fears and anxieties, as well as our times of depression and mood change.

How many times have you been working at a project and figured you were never going to get it and were just within inches of giving up on it when the whole thing suddenly fell together and you had an awareness that had you given up, you'd never have seen that you could complete it?  Challenging and working on fears, anxieties and mood changes is the same way.  Working on methods, skills, ideas and approaches to challenging these fears and moods is the best way to eventually discover that you can accomplish things you never thought were within reach.

Anyone who has ever learned to play a musical instrument or become accomplished at running a particular piece of machinery knows that it's with repetition (maybe starting very slow) and determination that we get sharper, faster, better and more skilled at doing something.  No matter if it is with our hands or mind, we start to get the feel for something and our confidence grows.

There are endless stories in the field of sports about those who practiced repeatedly and refused to give up, and eventually went on to win Olympic medals and titles.  This is as true outside the field of sports in areas of business, survival, and personal challenge.  It's also true for those trying to get better and better at facing their anxieties and times of depression.  We know from studies of Learned Helplessness that once an individual buys into the idea that it's all hopeless, things begin to spiral out of control.  So developing a mindset of determination can counter such thinking and help you regroup over and over until you have accomplished the goals you have set out to reach regarding your fears and feelings.

Here are some ideas on how to try again and get back in the saddle when life seems determined to throw you off track:

• Be patient with yourself and know when to take breaks
• Don't avoid returning to your re-attempts at accomplishing your goals
• Think of your task as a challenge to get better at each time you attempt it
• Set realistic goals so you can see the possibility of reaching them
• Start slow and simple to develop small successes to build on
• Recognize where you did well and nudged ahead however small the nudge
• Watch for role models to show you what to do
• Set a steady schedule of practice 

Sometimes the only way to accomplish something is to stop avoiding it.  So, the final idea is to avoid avoidance.  This doesn't mean throwing yourself in the deep end of the pool to learn to swim, it means to stop avoiding the pool completely.  Approach the things you'd like to improve at just a little bit at a time in order to get more comfortable and skilled.  Develop a "can do" attitude and you will go far.

Thanks to Brett Jordan for the great image

Paddleboarding: Another great way to battle Depression and Anxiety

Since 2000 the recreational sport of paddleboarding has gained in popularity and adding it to your list of relaxing things to do could be one of the best things you do for yourself this summer. 

This wonderful outdoor sport is something that can be done in many lakes, rivers, or oceans and it's a great way for you to go exploring the great outdoors whether you are alone and seeking a meditative day of water and sun, or are with others and just looking to improve your social skills.

Those hooked on the fun call it SUP, which stands for Stand Up Paddleboarding.  Whoo hoo... now you've got the lingo, let's take a look at why it's a great way to reduce stress and anxiety, as well as interrupt the patterns that lead to depression.

Boarding your paddleboard and heading out on the water taps you in to the kind of things that typically only boaters get to enjoy.  Out on the lakes and rivers, you can access the great scenic views that contribute to complete physical and mental relaxation.  Out there on the water and water edges you will be as close as ever to wildlife, sunshine, exercise and the kinds of activities that lead to more balanced breathing patterns in the body.

Many just like the escape paddleboarding provides them in that they can paddle out and away from the shore which in itself is so symbolic for just getting away from it all, thus leaving the world behind, the cars and noise, the kids and chores, and finding a spot out in the open water to sit and meditate on your own.  In such an environment you can find some alone time to think over life events, feelings and important decisions in life.  Most of all, you can practice your mindfulness and present-moment focus via the senses.

Paddleboarding is also a very affordable activity and the boards come in models that you can haul on your car, or others that are inflatable, which allows most people the opportunity to transport them to any destination.  

Once outside you immediately begin pulling in the endless advantages of living an active lifestyle.  By the time you get to your favorite paddleboarding spot you are participating in exercise, fresh air, sunshine, and many find it to be a great way to socialize as there are plenty of people for you to meetup with in paddleboarding groups or friendship groups who also paddleboard.

Since the explosion of its popularity, many shops and stores have expanded to renting paddleboards, so if you find you like going but not so often that you actually need to own a paddleboard, there are lots of options to finding one you can enjoy for a few hours or days.

For those who have some anxiety about pursuing such a fun and relaxing sport, please keep in mind that you can sit down and paddle on your board as well, and though it is true that you can paddleboard if you don't know how to swim, let's be sensible here.  Don't ever go out in the water without a sturdy, well fastened, tested and reliable lifejacket on.  Especially if you can't swim!  If you find you love the sport that much, maybe it will inspire you to begin taking some swimming lessons and tackle that skill once and for all.

Many people take up paddleboarding only to report back how much fun they are having, how it gets them outside and active, and how they can't wait to get back out there and go again.  Seriously consider giving it a try.  It can only be good for your mental health and has shown to counter the symptoms of depression and anxiety.

"Paddleboarding is like walking on water."  ~Laird Hamilton (Big Wave Surfer)

Thanks to GR for the great image, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/

Anxiety and Depression: Changing with the Seasons

Spring is a great way to spend time outdoors, get some fresh air, and find exercise that suits one's lifestyle.  Once the season is upon us, there are many things to do that are known to help with anxiety and depression.

Because melatonin levels are lower in the spring, we have more energy, which gives us the nudge we need to do more things we've been wanting to do, but might not have had the energy for in the fall and winter months.  Melatonin levels rise because there is more daylight detected by the eyes and this triggers the pineal gland to produce less melatonin than it does in the fall and winter months when the days are shorter.  So it's not your imagination that you feel like doing a bit more once the days get longer.

For this reason, isolation indoors during the spring and summer months is not advised.  Be sure to open the curtains, step outside, go where the sun is, and feed your body's desire for exposure to this time of year.  Hiking, gardening, working in the yard, walking, and any other activity that will expose you to the elements is good medicine.  It's important not to stay closed off indoors where the light and sun can't reach you and the changing seasons are only minimally enjoyed.

One thing to be careful of in the spring and summer is the use of allergy medications due to pollen.  Many allergy medications have antihistamines in them, which typically leads to drowsiness, but in some people they can also lead to increased heart rate, dizziness, sweaty palms, and rapid breathing, all of which mimic symptoms of anxiety.  And if you recall, all it takes is a belief that the symptoms are life-threateningly dangerous, and the body will believe these symptoms are something much more serious or dangerous than they are.

An increase in movement this time of year can only help with stress and anxiety.  In fact, according to a study done by Dr Ben Singh, physical activity is 1.5 times more effective at reducing mild-to-moderate symptoms of stress and anxiety than even medication or cognitive behavioral therapy.  So be sure to follow through on the idea to get out for a walk, ride a bike, go swimming, or any other number of physical activities that seem to be more desirable this time of year.

In addition, when we feel good in the warmer months and have more energy, this is also a great time to work on and refine our depression and anxiety relapse prevention plans.  Having a clearly written plan for what to do when anxiety or depression return in the colder months gives us more ideas in our bag of tricks for when the going gets rough, but who feels like laying all of that out when energy is low or depression has set in?  So take the time to do it now while you feel up to it.  What will your plan and strategy be, and how will you lay it out and cope when the time comes that energy levels are once again low and motivation is hard to find due to additional seasonal changes.

Enjoy your spring and summer!  Use the energy wisely!  Be self-aware of how the body and energy changes throughout the year.  Be alert to anxiety symptoms that are chemically triggered and monitor what your thinking does with that information.    Stay one step ahead and prepare for the changing seasons.

"I am thankful that in a troubled world, no calamity can prevent the return of spring."  ~Helen Keller

Thanks to Ray in Manila for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Change: Adjusting and living a Balanced Lifestyle

The level of activity we each enjoy depends on who we are and what our personal style is.  For extroverts, an active lifestyle is key to feeling energized and fulfilled.  For introverts, life feels much more comfortable with less exposure to activities involving crowds, noise, and other people.  Introverts feel more energized by quieter activities, less companions to do those activities, and far less crowds and noise.  Knowing yourself and your personal preferences can help you know when you've become either too over stimulated with activities that are in excess of what is normal for you, or those that are too reclusive and keep you in isolation.  Both extremes can lead to stress depending on who you are and what your personal preference in life is.

When the pandemic arrived in 2020 and people began spending more time at home, many introverts reported to me that they were liking that they were no longer expected to venture out into the world as much because typically that was something they didn't enjoy as much as extroverts did in the first place.  But at the same time, extroverts were telling me that they were pulling their hair out in frustration and biting at the bit to get out and go do the things they enjoy and that fill them up as well as energize them.

But as the pandemic situation began to improve, an interesting thing began to happen.  Many extroverts, having been starved for the active life they prefer during the more "lock down" or "stay at home" portion of the pandemic, began to overload their plates with activities, while introverts had their own interesting change, in that having gotten the world's permission to be as isolated and recluse as they desired, were finding it a little hard to push themselves to get out a little more and get reacquainted with the world of people, events and activities.

We do know that the pandemic changed an enormous amount of things including where and how we work, how we shop, how we participate in activities, and even how we plan vacations and trips.  So it's up to each one of us to stop for a moment and take a good inventory of how we think the pandemic affected us personally.  Maybe there are some changes we find acceptable and want to keep, such as working at home, or having a new hybrid schedule at work that mixes some home and some office work.  It's also possible that we might have really enjoyed grocery delivery or new ways of attending events that now have timed entrances and have reduced what was once a stressful way of attending.

However, we also need to look at ways we appropriately adapted in order to stay safe during the pandemic, but that now no longer serve us and may actually be leading to more stress.  For instance, when it comes to our level of activity are we now gobbling up too many activities in fear of another pandemic shut down, or have we become a little too recluse and stopped interacting with the world entirely.  This is where knowing yourself well is key because only you will know if what you are doing now is in excess of the person you were prior to the pandemic.

For those who are doing a little too much, the stress will show up in symptoms of exhaustion, body aches, lack of time to fit it all the things you want to do, and of course increased symptoms of anxiety such as a rise in blood pressure and heart rate, tight muscles, tight chest breathing, and even increased use of substances such as alcohol.  For those who are isolating more than what their norm had been prior to the pandemic, the symptoms can result in depression, loneliness, lack of connection to others and to the world, and a growing anxiety each time you think of venturing out to be around others or participate in a few activities.

Taking the time to put a self-inventory together can help you see where you might need to nudge yourself just a little to either tone down activities in order to fit in some rest and self-nurturing, or if it's time to nudge yourself out the door for some light socializing, or at least activity that exposes you to other human beings, such as a hike at a local popular trail, or a trip to the zoo or museum in which you will interact with a few others.  

It's okay that we've changed and adapted since the pandemic entered our lives, and it's okay that we've all found some new ways of living that we want to keep.  But we also have to take a close look at how the pandemic has affected each one of us negatively and begin to sort through the ongoing adaptations we need to keep making in order to find balance with all of the ongoing changes.

"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails"   ~Dolly Pardon

Thanks to Glacier NPS for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/mark/1.0/

Gratitude: A Mind Shift for Depression

As we approach the holiday of Thanksgiving in the United States, thoughts of gratitude become more frequent as many reflect on the year and all it has offered.  This sense of thankfulness could not come at a better time because during the winter months many people suffer from a type of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which comes as the weather changes, days become shorter and the amount of daylight temporarily decreases.  Sometimes called the "winter blues" or "winter depression", this kind of mood change can be recognized by a lack of motivation, fatigue and a noticeable increase in feelings of hopelessness.  Thankfully, exercises in gratitude can work to counter the negative thoughts that sometimes accompany these symptoms of depression. 

Since feelings tend to follow our thoughts, it only makes sense that feelings of depression can accompany negative thoughts.  Therefore, finding ways to intentionally counter the seasonal symptoms of negative thinking in the winter is a very helpful method to having a mind shift that moves the thinking to a more positive place.

When symptoms of depression set in during the cold winter months, a good relapse prevention plan can help in coping with the temporary shift in mood, and can bring the mind back around to focusing on what you would prefer, and therefore bringing the mood around as well.  

Here are some ideas to help you make this cognitive shift into a more appreciative place, and give you a feeling of gratitude for Thanksgiving:

• Whatever the setting at the moment, take a look around and realize what things you are grateful for in your immediate surroundings.
• Think of the top three things that went well this year that could have been much worse.
• Consider the individuals that helped you this year, be it in their words, deeds, or gifts.
• When it comes to your health, notice all the things your body can do and where your health remains good.  What are you grateful for about your body?
• Do you have food, shelter, transportation, running water, warmth, and overall safety?
• Have you been able to experience something special this year, such as a trip, adventure, or even an unexpected visit from someone? 

Sometimes the things we are grateful for don't have to be very impressive, large, noticeable, or even grand.  That the door is fixed, or the faucet no longer leaks, or something as simple as finding your favorite pair of shoes you thought you'd lost or misplaced.  Moving the mind to these things on a regular basis helps to train the brain to go to more thankful places and spending time there helps the mood and gives you one more tool in your bag of tricks to counter balance the winter blues.

Several times a day, take a pause and push yourself to notice three things "right now" that you are grateful for

Thanks to sierralupe for the great photo