Relapse Prevention: Stress and the Holidays

Did you know that Christmas Day is the busiest day for alcohol deliveries?  And another interesting fact, is that most people in the United States who drink alcohol tend to nearly double their use between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, leading to a 40% increase in sales for many liquor stores, and a 116% increase in alcohol-related auto fatalities on New Year's Eve.  It's also one of the toughest times of the year for those who are trying to recover from alcoholism and other substance abuse addictions, as they try to maintain their recovery and sobriety.

It would be too simple to say that it's just negative feelings and emotions, such as grief or loneliness, that lead to increased substance abuse during the holidays, as joyful celebrations and time spent with loved ones also lead to the same kinds of struggles and relapses.  But one thing that is common among all the various emotions that lead to relapse and abuse of substances is stress.  And as we all know, what is stressful for some is not stressful for all, but everyone has something they find stressful about the holidays.  Whether it's picking up relatives at the airport, or being the one trying to catch a flight in a snow storm.  So the demand for stress management is never quite as high as it is during the holidays.

The first step toward reducing the stress that can trigger your holiday relapse is to know your triggers.  For some people their trigger is lack of sleep, and for others it is being around certain people.  But knowing what usually sets off your emotions (positive or negative) in the direction of relapses is top on the list of relapse prevention strategies.

In addition, have an exit plan.  In other words, how will you avoid getting pulled in by your triggers?  When that certain relative does that certain thing that always sets you off (and you knew it was coming or only a matter of time), what is your plan going to be to not get pulled in?  Will you move to a different room, would stepping outside for a break do the trick, or could focusing on conversation with someone else be the key.

Also, knowing the key emotions to avoid or remedy can put you ahead of the curve when it comes to relapse prevention.  For instance, if loneliness is something that can tip you over the edge to seek out your substance of choice, then plan ahead to make sure you are with others who support you and your sobriety.

Most of all, planning ahead with a well-thought-out relapse prevention plan can be your best strategy and help you avoid mistakes and downfalls that can only deaden your momentum and progress. 

You can find a list of 14 tips for relapse prevention here, offered by the NAS (National Addictions Specialists). You can also find my prior blog entry from May of 2024 Relapse Prevention: Making Changes Now to Be Ready Later, which talks about how to build your relapse prevention plan, including a nice link to Psych Central's article on Relapse Prevention.

"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgence.  Caring for myself is an act of survival."     ~Audre Lorde

Thanks to Julia 2006 for the great photo (cropped), https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en

Simplify the Holidays to Reduce Stress

As the holiday season nears, I hear a lot from others that things get increasingly hectic for them from about Halloween all the way through New Years.  There are a lot of varied factors that contribute to this stress, but one of the biggest is that of making things too complicated.  So finding ways to simplify it all can reduce your stress and get you through the holidays. 

Travel is one of the more common and expensive complications during the holidays.  Ways to simplify traveling include booking your flights early, taking turns every other year or more with relatives to not always be the one traveling, tap in to relatives and friends who live in the destination area to help you with transportation, and always travel light.

Cooking and meal planning are also tasks that can quickly get out of control if too many details and dishes are included.  Meal events can be much less stressful by asking everyone to bring a dish, see if others are willing to help out with some of the usual tasks like table setting, dishes, carving, entertaining guests and so on.  Keeping it simple with just the basics of food can only be helpful and avoiding long and complicated recipes that have high risk of failure when something more simple would do just as well.

Holidays are also a time when many people get sick.  General Adaptation Syndrome explains the way in which chronically high levels of stress will push us through the three stages of Alarm, Resistance, and finally Exhaustion.  When holidays finally come, the body can fall into the third stage of this series making us susceptible to illness due to a lowered immune system.  Ways to counter this are to utilize the time off, not for more stress or unhealthy behavior such as drinking or over eating, but using the time and opportunity to rest, relax, enjoy oneself.  It can be a time for focusing on eating a healthy diet while the opportunity presents itself for a break from the usual stressors of life outside of the holidays.  In other words, don't make your holiday break more complicated with excess, but instead try to simplify it with less.

Holidays don't need to be complicated and stressful.  Instead, they can and should be relaxing events where everyone can reenergize, relax and enjoy a break from the usual rushed and hectic schedule of everyday working life.

You can find my prior blog entry about ways to simplify the holidays here. 

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all."     ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Thanks to Faith Goble for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Gratitude: Practicing Thankfulness Year-Round

Thanksgiving is a time for gathering, feasting, and giving thanks, but giving thanks is a helpful exercise to get in the habit of year-round.  Recognizing what we are grateful for can help us move our awareness from the many forms of faulty thinking that tend to lead to depression and anxiety, and shift us toward a more consistent habit of thankfulness for what we have right now. 

In any given situation we have the option to focus on what we already have before us and in our lives.  Because our brains are geared to watch for dangers, we sometimes forget how wonderful and miraculous our lives are, including the things we have in them, and the situations we experience.

Has someone helped you recently?  Did you catch a break on some discount, deadline, or deal?  Are you glad the roof doesn't leak, and the car runs, or that the kids or pets are healthy this month?  Did something finally get solved or resolved?  Maybe some problem, glitch, or issue that was annoying and irritating?  And what about the most mundane things we forget to acknowledge as "good today" or "good this very moment".  

What we don't notice is that our monkey mind tends to wander off to the past and the future, ruminating about how things should have been, should be now, and about how terrible they can end up in the future unless we worry hard enough to prevent bad things from happening (which of course is not possible).  So gratefulness is a great Mindfulness exercise.  We can ask ourselves, "What am I thankful for right at this very moment?"  

The next time you are sitting at a traffic light with nothing much to do but wait for the light to change, ask yourself in that moment, "What are three things I am grateful for right now?"  Maybe you are grateful that the roads are clear and it's a sunny day.  Or maybe you are grateful the traffic is not too bad at the moment.  It can be anything at all.  

You can make a new habit of giving thanks at key times throughout your day.  Maybe think of three things you are grateful for while waking in the morning and preparing for your day.  Or maybe finding thankfulness in the evening before going to bed.  You can build these moments of gratitude into any part of your day and make them habit forming, just like brushing your teeth or taking a shower.  It takes practice at first, but repetition makes the behavior.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy all you feel grateful for.  Then spread that Thankfulness throughout the year, making every day a day of thanks.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have, you'll never, ever have enough."  ~Oprah Winfrey

Thanks to Faith Goble for the great festive image

Gratitude: A Mind Shift for Depression

As we approach the holiday of Thanksgiving in the United States, thoughts of gratitude become more frequent as many reflect on the year and all it has offered.  This sense of thankfulness could not come at a better time because during the winter months many people suffer from a type of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which comes as the weather changes, days become shorter and the amount of daylight temporarily decreases.  Sometimes called the "winter blues" or "winter depression", this kind of mood change can be recognized by a lack of motivation, fatigue and a noticeable increase in feelings of hopelessness.  Thankfully, exercises in gratitude can work to counter the negative thoughts that sometimes accompany these symptoms of depression. 

Since feelings tend to follow our thoughts, it only makes sense that feelings of depression can accompany negative thoughts.  Therefore, finding ways to intentionally counter the seasonal symptoms of negative thinking in the winter is a very helpful method to having a mind shift that moves the thinking to a more positive place.

When symptoms of depression set in during the cold winter months, a good relapse prevention plan can help in coping with the temporary shift in mood, and can bring the mind back around to focusing on what you would prefer, and therefore bringing the mood around as well.  

Here are some ideas to help you make this cognitive shift into a more appreciative place, and give you a feeling of gratitude for Thanksgiving:

• Whatever the setting at the moment, take a look around and realize what things you are grateful for in your immediate surroundings.
• Think of the top three things that went well this year that could have been much worse.
• Consider the individuals that helped you this year, be it in their words, deeds, or gifts.
• When it comes to your health, notice all the things your body can do and where your health remains good.  What are you grateful for about your body?
• Do you have food, shelter, transportation, running water, warmth, and overall safety?
• Have you been able to experience something special this year, such as a trip, adventure, or even an unexpected visit from someone? 

Sometimes the things we are grateful for don't have to be very impressive, large, noticeable, or even grand.  That the door is fixed, or the faucet no longer leaks, or something as simple as finding your favorite pair of shoes you thought you'd lost or misplaced.  Moving the mind to these things on a regular basis helps to train the brain to go to more thankful places and spending time there helps the mood and gives you one more tool in your bag of tricks to counter balance the winter blues.

Several times a day, take a pause and push yourself to notice three things "right now" that you are grateful for

Thanks to sierralupe for the great photo

Simplifying Thanksgiving and Lowering Stress

In America, from Halloween until New Years, stress levels tend to rise.  There are many things that perpetuate this trend, such as increased shopping, spending, eating and outward focus, as the holiday season is about giving and sharing time with family and friends.

One of the reasons the holidays have become so hectic is because over the generations, we've tended to make these events much more complicated than they need to be.  In fact, simplifying these events can bring back the joy and reduce stress levels for everyone.

For Thanksgiving this year, keep in mind that you don't have to prepare a large event gathering all by yourself.  Though it is a large feasting event, there is no need for there to be multiple things for one person to prepare.  This only leads to feeling overwhelmed with keeping track of it all.  Be sure to reduce your load by asking everyone who attends to help out by bringing a dish.  This not only helps the person(s) preparing the main meal, but also gives attendees something to do so they can feel they've contributed to the event.

Once people arrive, have simple tasks ready to assign out to anyone offering to help.  There are a number of things others can do to participate in the preparation of the main meal, such as chopping foods, setting the table, carving the meat, pouring wine, greeting guests, etc.  If you are a guest, be sure to show your thanks by offering to do some of these helpful things.

Thanksgiving is about gathering to give thanks.  So be ready to step back and let conversations unfold.  Consider a living room gathering during dessert in which each person is given the opportunity to express what they are thankful for.  Leave some various board games accessible for people who want to play and converse, and stay mindful about what you are personally thankful for as you include yourself in the unfolding festivities. 

There is no need to complicate the event by adding in shopping, which pulls people away from the event and distracts from the festivities.  Something to consider instead is a traditional after-dinner movie, such as A Christmas Carol, or Scrooge.  Or maybe traditional holiday cartoons to keep it light and fun.  Allow plenty of time for visiting with your guests, since this gathering together is really what it's all about.

Keeping the holidays simple is the best way to keep your stress and anxiety at a minimum.  You want to be able to enjoy it and capitalize on the opportunity to relax, catch your breath, and most of all... remember what you are thankful for.

Thanks to Martin Cathrae for the great holiday photo
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/