Personalizing your Relaxation

Everyone has a different idea of what relaxation is.  Where one person might believe that heading out to sea on a lovely sailboat to catch a glimpse of the sunset on the ocean horizon is all they need to quiet their mind and slow their breath, another might feel that heading out on the ocean in any vessel, at all, is the equivalent of being trapped on a floating, inescapable prison cell.

The point is that no one else can tell you what relaxation "should" be--for you.  Each individual will need to come to an awareness on their own as to what it is in life that brings them a state of calm, meditative peace.

Each of us does need to keep in mind, however, that we do not have to adhere to the expectations of others that what they find to be personally relaxing, is what we should find to be relaxing, too.  Just as important, is to know that we have a right to enjoy the things we find relaxing, without others telling us we should not find those things to be relaxing just because they do not find them to be relaxing for themselves.

Though a beekeeper may find it very relaxing to suit up and spend time working with their bees and honey, someone else might find it difficult to understand how spending time with hundreds or thousands of flying insects, with the potential of stinging, could possibly be relaxing.

At the same time, there are many who find massage therapy to be very relaxing, healing, and calming.  Yet, for others, the notion of being touched in this way by a stranger is more stress and anxiety inducing that it is relaxing.

When it comes to relaxation, self-trust and self-knowledge is key to making the best of your time and effort, but for this you may have to explore a little bit and try a few new things in order to discover what things may bring you the most sense of relaxation and peace.  In the end, it is you who will be the decision maker about what is and is not relaxing for you personally.  In this way you give your body your full attention and let it know you are listening to what it has to say.

Here are a few (non-animal-harming) ideas for things that some have found relaxing:

*Rock Climbing
*Music
*Sailing, canoeing, kayaking
*Gardening
*Hot Springs
*Reiki
*Hiking
*Woodworking
*Cooking
*Massage Therapy
*Tea Ceremony
*Meditation
*Sauna, Hot Tub, or Steam Room
*Art (Painting, drawing, pottery, etc.)
*Day Spa
*Tai Chi and Qigong
*Peaceful time with animals
*Surfing
*Picnics
*Conversation with friends

Thanks to JacobEnos for the great photo
https://www.flickr.com/photos/notjake13/
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Relaxing with Essential Oils

Essential oils are "volatile aromatic compounds", which means they are oils that can change states quickly from liquid to gas.  Many people use essential oils in a diffuser with water to disperse the aroma into a room in order to enjoy pleasant scents.

As you can imagine, this is a relaxing form of aroma therapy that has grown in popularity over the years.  It's a great way to relax and can make a wonderful addition to a meditative environment or spa-like room.

You can read more about aroma therapy here in my May 2015 blog entry.

If you are looking to create an environment that is suited for relaxation, using a diffuser to disperse your Essential Oils is a great idea.  But keep in mind, you can also disperse the aroma by many other means:

*Spray bottle
*Cotton ball or tissue
*Heated on the stove
*Used in the bath
*A few drops on your furnace filter
*In your Potpourri warmer
**Be sure to always read instructions carefully so you use the appropriate amounts in any of these
    given methods.

Introducing pleasant fragrances to any room can add to the relaxing environment, and we know that certain scents can trigger both memories and moods.

Thanks to Sulen Lee for the great photo

Qigong for Stress Reduction

Two things that have always helped stress and anxiety are exercise and relaxation.  So to find something that has a combination of both is quite a treat.  

Qigong is a form of Chinese mind/body exercise that traces back some 2500 years (although some records indicate much longer).  These exercises use breathing, meditation, movement, and sometimes visualization to improve the flow of “qi”.

Qi means “spirit, life energy, or breath”, and gong means “work, or working with”.  So Qigong means to work with the life energy, or to work with the breath, or spirit.

There are some classic Qigong forms like “The Eight Brocades” and “Healing Sounds”, but it’s believed that there are over 7000 different qigong exercises throughout the world.  Many have been handed down from one generation to the next and have roots that trace to the martial arts and spiritual practices of Taoism.

In his book, The Way of Qigong, Ken Cohen explains that there are different sub-areas of qigong study:  Medical Qigong, External Healing Qigong, Meditative or Spiritual Qigong and Martial Arts Qigong.  All are  simply called, Qigong.

Finding the area of Qigong that is best for you is not about fitting yourself into one of these categories, but simply finding where they fit into your needs and your intentions.  You can begin by reading a little bit about Qigong (such as the book mentioned above), or finding a local class and seeing if it resonates with your stress and anxiety reduction needs.

You can also find many videos online of various forms and practitioners.  Here is a wonderful demo of one of the many versions of the Five Animal Qigong Form, done by a practitioner of the Wudang school of study:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Up2Mnq7JSM 

Thanks to Edwin Lee for his great photo - The Opening Lotus 

The Relaxation of Moving Meditations

When we think of meditation, most of us picture someone in a seated position, remaining very still and upright, with eyes closed (or half closed), who might perhaps be working to monitor their thoughts, which rise and fall spontaneously.  But there is another kind of meditation called moving meditation, which is woven into various types of activities, particularly relaxing exercises such as Qigong, Tai Chi and Yoga.

With this in mind, we must reconsider what “meditation” means.  Is it just sitting still and  working to monitor the thoughts as they drift in and out of the mind?  Or is meditation about trying to remain fully present in any activity--be it sitting, standing, walking or other forms of movement? 

Whether one is attempting to stay in the present moment by not chasing every thought that arises, or whether one is trying to simply monitor the breath moment by moment, the common denominator is that meditation is that practice and effort which helps the practitioner stay in the moment regardless of activity.  Seated meditation is a meditation that represents physical stillness (as is standing meditation practice), but mindful meditation can take place in the movement of any activity be it the gracefulness of Tai Chi, or the skillful art of archery.

Tai Chi Chuan and Qigong are only a couple of the various forms of moving meditations, but you don't have to know a skilled martial art in order to use mindful and moving meditation in your life.  Walking can also be done in the form of a moving meditation, as can dance, running, or any other sports activity such as golfing.  The common theme that runs through them all is your state of mind--are you fully present and aware at this moment?

I once heard a meditation teacher say that the only difference between skilled meditation practitioners who go about their day walking to various activities and such, and those who are not skilled, is that the skilled practitioners are aware that they are walking and moving, and the unskilled individuals are not.

Every moment of your day is a moment to practice mindfulness.  Movement does not mean that mindful meditation has stopped.

Thanks to Reed George for his great photo - Kyudo Practitioner 

Relieving Stress through Stretching

Stretching out is something we often see athletes do prior to playing their sport of choice, as it is a known tool in preventing pulled muscles and other injuries.  It also improves performance and allows a wider range of motion for a wide variety of activities.

Yet, stretching is also a helpful tool in Stress Reduction because it helps us to become familiar with the difference between tension and relaxation.  The reason this is so important in Stress Management is because we can sometimes reach the point of carrying chronic stress in the body, and when that happens, we lose touch with what it feels like to release tension and regain relaxation.  The result is that when we attempt to relax, we might feel too guarded to “just let go”, and releasing tension in the muscles becomes complex or nearly impossible.  This guarded stance can lead to insomnia and muscle pain.

In a well-known relaxation technique called Progressive Muscle Relaxation, individuals are trained to tighten, tense and flex various areas of the body.  They then learn to hold that tension for just a moment before letting it go in a release that relaxes the muscle and tendons completely.  For instance, tightening the fists as tight as you can, holding it, and then letting it go by relaxing the fists and letting them become limp and loose.  The strategy is not just for the purpose of stress reduction, but to train individuals to notice the difference between tension, and relaxation.

Very simple stretching exercises can be used for the same reason.  Reaching down to touch the toes, and then slowly coming back up.  Reaching up to the sky, and then lowering the arms and hands and shaking them out as if they were wet rags.  Wrinkling up the face and then releasing it into a smooth smile.  All of these methods use the same concept that Progressive Muscle Relaxation does, in that intentional tightening is followed by gentle releasing, and an awareness of the difference between the two takes place so as to train oneself how to first notice tension, and then how to release it at any given time.

Thanks to Tambako the Jaguar for the great photo Stretching lioness

Walking Mediation for Relaxation

Going for a walk can be very relaxing.  It can also be a form of moving meditation, just like tai chi or qigong, in which you hold the mind in the present moment.

In our everyday life we may walk too fast as we hurry from place to place to complete the errands and tasks of our day.  But walking mindfully is very different.  When you walk mindfully, you are aware of your walking.  To be aware of your walking, you must be fully present.  So, trying various walking meditation exercises to strengthen your mindfulness is key.  Here are some ideas: 

First, you can synchronize your steps with the inhalation and the exhalation, and therefore place your attention on no other task.  For instance, you might inhale for 3 or four slow steps, and then exhale for three or four steps, and repeat.

Another idea is to place all of your focus on the bottom of your feet.  Notice as the heel touches the ground, then how it rolls from back to front, bending at the toes, and finally pulls off the ground.  Then follow the attention to the other foot to do the same thing, and so on.

You might also direct your attention to the present by focusing on the senses as you walk.  In other words, as you stroll along, notice what you hear, see, smell, taste in the air, and feel on your skin.  Perhaps you will notice the sound of many birds that you hadn’t noticed before, or maybe you will realize the colors around you are brilliant due to a rising or setting sun.

When you feel ready, here is an idea that might take some practice.  Fill a medium sized bowl or cup with water to the brim, and carry it with you as you walk (this may take both hands).  Think of the water as the precious substance of life for which you don’t want to spill.  As you walk, focus your attention on the bowl or cup of water, and try not to spill a drop.  This will also require that you—at the same time—watch your step, go slow, and move mindfully, all of which leads you to stay very present and attentive to your walking.

All of these exercises simply help you learn to clear your mind of unnecessary clutter, which in turn, helps you to relax and refrain from worry.

Thanks to Hartwig HKD for the great photo Zen Walk

A Gentle Cup of Tea to Help You Relax

According to legend, the great Chan (Zen) master Bodhidharma was angry at himself for falling asleep while meditating.  So he cut off his eyelids and threw them to the ground where they became the first tea plants.  This is why many depictions of Bodhidharma present him with large bulging eyes. 

Stories like this are a part of the rich history of tea preparation or drinking, and frequently associates tea with meditation, mindfulness and relaxation.  Sitting down for a cup of tea can include the feel of a warm--and many times decorative--cup in your hands, the aroma of nicely brewed tea selected from the multiple varieties available, and the gentle slow pace involved in mindfully preparing and drinking it.  It can be a very spiritual experience and many times has a ritualistic process and history.

Stress reduction is just one of the many benefits associated with drinking tea, but the knowing is in the doing--or I  should say...in the drinking.  A cup of tea gives us grounding--something that anchors us to the present moment.  Our full attention is given to the senses of taste, smell, touch, and vision.  If conversation is present, it may only be about the taste of the tea, the beauty of the cup, or the tea's aroma and color--all of which are in the present moment.

There is a quote by the renowned Vietnamese Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh that reads, "Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future."

Some people worry that they will have to bypass the great experience of tea drinking due to the caffeine content in many teas, but keep in mind that it's not necessarily true that the caffeine in tea should counter the body's relaxation process.  According to my teacher Ken Cohen (Gao Han)--a tea connoisseur and life-long practitioner of qigong and tai chi chuan--caffeine is water-soluble, so the pre-rinsing and first steeping tease out a significant amount of flavor, aroma and caffeine, which creates a decaffeination process that increases with each subsequent steeping.

You don't have to be an expert in the history of tea or its preparation in order to benefit and enjoy an occasional relaxing cup of tea.  Just allow yourself to start with a simple loose leaf, oolong or green tea, and follow the basic brewing steps noted on Cohen's website (see link above).  Once you get the feel for it, you can determine your level of interest and enthusiasm from there.

Thanks to Fred Jala for his great photograph

Stress Reduction: Taking a Break from Gadgets

Are gadgets stressful?  When we struggle with them they are.  When the battery dies or a lever or button breaks and we can’t get the thing to do what we want.  But perfectly functional gadgets can be stressful too when they begin to interrupt the natural flow of life rather than aid us as they were originally meant to do. 

It’s really too late to go back in time and prevent all the modern electronic gadgets from entering our world, and who would want to.  Many of these devices are life savers and helpful in every aspect.  But let’s not forget our humanness.  We need rest from these gadgets that push us from the moment they blast us out of bed with alarms, to the moment they put us to bed with clap-off lights. 

So here are some ideas: 

When taking your 15 minute break at work (if you even still get one these days), be sure to leave the cell phone at your desk.  I know.  I know.  The very thought of missing one single call or message is blaspheme to most, but I know you want to reduce your stress level.  So read on. 

Think, instead, about taking a walk outside where you can stretch the muscles of the eyes by focusing on things far into the distant like the horizon, clouds, or mountains.  Try to go without the company of your MP3 and the usual music and noise that bombards your ears with constant distraction and entertainment.  Let the ears tune into the more natural sounds around you such as birds and other animals, water flowing, and even wind or breezes. If you live deep in the heart of a noisy city, tune into one of the other senses such as noticing the feel of the air on your skin or the feel of wind or breeze against your face. 

Outside of your job and even at home, try some relaxing activities that are not going to bombard you all-the-more with flashes of sound, light, and entertainment stimulation such as video games, movies, and noise.   Tai Chi and Qigong exercises are good for the body and natural exercises that don’t force you to keep up with machines that demand an unnatural speed for the legs or arms.  Yoga can also give your body the stretching and movement it’s not getting while sitting all day at your computer, and many of the exercises related to Yoga and Qigong will help you begin to return to an awareness of the natural pace of the human breath.

Imagine what your day would be like if the electronic gadgets that typically dominate your life were completely removed.  Yes, you’d most likely be bored and unsure what to do with yourself, but the next time you ask yourself why you are so stressed out, think about what percentage of your day is spent attending to gadgets that distract you from the natural world around you—a world that you are an innate part of and which does not naturally manifest from machines.

Thanks to Joana Coccarelli for her great collage art "miss gadget"

Abdominal Breathing: Your Secret Weapon against Symptoms of Anxiety

Not only does one minute of proper abdominal breathing slow down the heart rate and reduce many other symptoms of anxiety, but it redirects your mental attention to the abdominal area, and if you remain focused there, then you are not focused on all the "what if" thinking that tends to create the illusion of danger that isn't really present.  When the mind focuses on one thing at a time like this--especially the healthful task of balanced breathing--it cannot also be obsessing about the possibility of danger that isn't even there, or be distracted with other faulty thinking styles which trigger these symptoms in the first place.

If you are convinced that you already know how to perform abdominal breathing properly, it might be time to look a little closer.  It's not just about taking a nice deep breath or letting out a good sigh.  Abdominal breathing is a very specific kind of breathing and may require attentive practice for some before the process begins to become more unconscious and natural.  This means you can't gain the skill virtually by reading about it in this article, or simply witnessing a baby doing it--which, by the way, babies do very naturally.

Instead, after you read this article--and in order to really gain the benefits of abdominal breathing--you will need to sit back and actually begin a new practice of intentionally trying this kind of breathing several times throughout your day in order to train your mind and body to begin doing it more naturally.

Try this:  Sit back in your seat but upright (not slumped), and be sure to relax your shoulders.  Now breathe in slowly while at the same time allowing your stomach to expand out.  This requires that you relax your stomach and let it move outward while at the same time inhaling.  Then, as you exhale, let your stomach sink back in deeper and deeper as you push air up and out.  Try this for a few breaths.  Different, isn't it?  Now try it for a full sixty seconds.

One full minute of this kind of breathing reduces many of the symptoms of anxiety associated with panic attacks and anxiety.  In other words, during and after just one minute of abdominal breathing, you have the power to slow down the heart rate, reduce muscle tension, lower sweat gland activity, and even more--prevent the mind from focusing on the "what if" trigger-thoughts that typically start the fight-or-flight stress response inappropriately in the first place.

So, if you are suffering from chronic symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks, and all around symptoms of stress, consider taking another look at the most commonly suggested coping skill for reducing these symptoms--abdominal breathing.  It may be worth seeing if  you've given it a fair shake.

Thanks to Mae Chevrette for the great photo - breathe