Anxiety and the Element of Time and Speed

There is an element to anxiety that is frequently overlooked, and that is the element of "time and speed".  It underlies a majority of events that provoke anxiety because it is the key trigger that pushes someone to feel like they need to go faster than they feel safe or comfortable with, and it prevents an individual from having the time to use their contemplative skill of thought to prepare for a situation.

When no preparation time is given, situations are done spontaneously and without forethought.  This can work well if you are someone who is quick on your feet and quick thinking, but most likely you got that way with exposure and practice.  Springing into action with a sharp and immediate awareness of what to do, and doing it, is truly a gift and can also be a developed skill when paired with repetition and practice.

Let's look at a few examples of how time and speed play out when it comes to anxiety:  

First, when someone is nervous driving on a particular road or highway, one of the things playing a factor is how fast things are going and the lack of time to slowly piece together what is happening in such a fast-paced environment.  With time and practice, drivers get use to the demand for speed and develop skills about how much time they need to take an exit, signal and turn a corner, or even stop before reaching a red light.  For those more experienced drivers, these tasks are not the worry, as they might worry that something is going to "suddenly" happen, like a blow out, or sudden accident, or other tragedy they didn't see coming.  So for that kind of driver the anxiety might be more of a "what if" worry that grows arms and legs and becomes a raw danger signal to the body that something bad could happen if speed is not gained or lost.  This triggers the fight or flight in the body, and anxiety symptoms are felt.

Another example of time and speed in relation to anxiety, is the nervous cashier who can see a line forming and knows that the pace of work can only be done so fast.  Perhaps customers are getting impatient and they want the cashier to go faster, thus leading the cashier to begin to worry someone is going to get mad, cause a scene, or begin to demand faster service.  Again, the fight or flight begins to kick in causing shallow breathing, tense muscles, and danger signals in the cashier's body as a full stress response takes place.

Finally, there is the example of the boss who wants an employee to meet a quota, demanding that an employee finish a certain number of tasks, items, or goals by a certain time frame.  Or fill so many orders in one hour, or complete so many entries in the computer in a day, or finish so many tasks before going home, and so on.  In this case, the pressure is on to go faster and faster as stress and anxiety levels rise.  

When we don't have the time to gather our thoughts and contemplate our response, anxiety symptoms climb.  Other examples are things like the demand for an answer before we actually have one developed in our mind, the pressure of being tail-gaited and the insistence that we drive faster than we want to or that the speed limit allows, or another driver honking immediately when the light changes green to tell us to hurry and get going.  

There will always be times in life when we need to keep a particular pace, hurry a bit more, or crank up our attentiveness to a situation so we can act quickly.  There was a time when paying cash was considered a gift in comparison to standing and writing a check?  Yet, now if you don't just swipe your card to pay, the impatience all around you is expressed in the eyes of onlookers.  So if you find that the pressure to go faster and faster is starting to cause a rise in your symptoms of anxiety, then finding ways to approach daily tasks with a new sense of permission to go it a little bit slower, combined with the use of relaxation exercises and the challenging of beliefs which tend to convince you that you must constantly go faster and faster, can have a direct impact on lowering your stress and biological symptoms of anxiety.

Yes, it's true that the world is getting faster and faster, and because of it, anxiety is increasing all over the world.  So keeping up on the increasing need for relaxation techniques is going to be key to adapting to this changing world.  In addition, here are some key words and phrases to look for in your everyday language:  fast, faster, suddenly, out of nowhere, enough, not enough, not enough time, speed up, hurry, in time, late, pressure, slow, slower, get going, in a rush, pushed, pulled, get to it, get going, quickly, get it finished, reach the marker, and faster pace.

Practicing tasks that force you to move steadily and calmly (but not too slow or fast) will give you the skills you need to keep a steady pace without panicking that you are not going fast enough.  It's very difficult to stay calm and steady right at the immediate time of a stressful event, but practicing slow steady relaxation in the midst of stress can improve your ability to stay calm under stressful conditions and without pressure to go faster.

Think of the example of a driver in a hurry who comes across a row of geese crossing the road.  We all know that the moral and ethical thing to do is stop and wait for the waddling lovelies to cross the road.  We have no choice!  The geese will eventually cross the road, in their own darn sweet time, of course.  But we are forced to go at a pace that is not what the world was demanding of us 15 seconds ago.  In that moment you can feel the pressure of a fast-paced world demanding that you go faster, but a present moment situation focus has a more calm and relaxed practice.  And this is the idea--the calm in the midst of the storm.

Here is a very brief video of a Zen walking-meditation called Kinhin, in which you work at a steady pace to practice developing a sense of concentration and present moment focus.  It is typically used by practitioners between rounds of seated meditation in order to stretch the body or just move it around a little before sitting down again for another round of prolonged seated meditation.  It's this kind of developed concentration that can be taken with you out and into a fast-paced world where it is very difficult to use at first, but with practice you can get better and better at facing the insistent speed demands of the world so they don't overwhelm you.  The intention is not to walk this slow out in the real world and make people try to get around you, but to use the slow pace of Kinhin meditation practice to sharpen your focus using a pace that works for you when you are out in that fast-paced world.

We know that the world will not stop pressuring us to go at the faster and faster pace it wants.  You can keep up or resist, and the choice between those two isn't what really matters.  What matters is where your mind is during any of these speeds.  Is it still present despite the tail-gaiter, or long line, or bosses demands?  Is it still at homeostasis, having steady breathing, a steady heart rate, and a steady mind?  Or is it wrapped up in meeting the unrealistic demands of a world that's going too fast?

"Adopt the pace of nature.  Her secret is patience".  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Relaxing with the Mindful practice of Tea Time.

Sometimes the simplest form of relaxation is found in the simplest of activities, like sitting down for a relaxing cup of tea.  You can add it to your daily relaxation routine--be it sitting for meditation, or adding it to your mindful meal, or reading time.

To keep it as simple as possible, try applying mindfulness to your tea time routine.  In other words, be present for everything from getting the tea pot, to selecting the tea cup.

If you invite all of your senses to be a part of the present moment of this activity, you become more aware of the smell, sight, sound, feel and taste of everything you are doing.

If your thoughts wander during this task, just notice that they have done so.  Then, without judgment--and especially without self-judgement--bring your focus back to the task at hand.  And if the mind wanders again, repeat!

Notice the feel of the cup, the sight of the steam rising, and the sound of the boiling water.  Take the time to smell the tea as you pour or prepare it.

Without judgment means without deciding "good or bad", "right or wrong way", "enjoyable or non-enjoyable", "tasty or bitter", etc.  In other words, you are not placing a judgment of any kind on the task.  You are in the moment of tea moment without moving into labeling and judging the tea moment.  It is "just this" tea moment.

Your tea does not have to be that of an expert or that of an amateur.  It can be expensive loose leaf tea or a bag of that you grew up with from the grocery store.  It doesn't matter if it's herbal or decaffeinated.  There is no one judging your authenticity.  It's just you, the aroma, the smoothness of the cup, the warmth of the tea, and the mindfulness of each sip.  There is no way it should be, and no way it ought not to be, nor is there any comparison of how it's done by others.

It's just tea, in this moment, with full awareness.  Watching thoughts come and go, and returning to the present moment.  Noticing your breath come and go, and returning to the present.  Repeatedly returning to the moment is a practice of meditation.  And staying in the present moment in this way is to be in the only place that actually ever exists.  That is, in this never-ending and yet, ever-changing, unfolding moment.

Thanks to Sheila Sund for the great photo
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Reducing Stress with Local Travel Trips

Sometimes traveling can be an adventure, and it's a goal many of us seek in life.  However, it can also lead to a lot of stress and complicated planning that can increase anxiety as the details and intricate pieces of a complicated trip unfold.  That's why considering more simplified local travel trips in your own area can be much more enjoyable and a lot less expensive and taxing.

We tend to always think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, or at least in someone else's state or country besides our own.  But if you do a little digging, you might realize that many people work to try and come to your own area for things you never knew existed.  Festivals, parades, annual celebrations and gatherings, lakes, mountains, sporting events, unique geological spots like hot springs, and volcanic rock formations.  Most places have some kind of history that makes them special, be that for wildlife, camping and hiking, or just for the local life of breweries, restaurants and unique architecture.

If you tend to feel like you need another entire vacation just to rest up after returning from your vacations, you might need to rethink what you consider a relaxing getaway, and consider new ways to make your plans a lot less stressful.  Staying fairly local, or within your own surrounding state can be less expensive as it doesn't require as much time spent in flight, train or car.  In fact, you can actually spend more time enjoying whatever it is you've gone to do or see.  And if it saves you so much to stay local that you have extra vacation funds left over, then you can spend that on more local things like boating, helicopter tours, museums, interesting new foods, and the plentiful spa, massage, and relaxation offerings in most vacation spots.

We can get stuck believing that a real vacation is one that is loaded with lots of expensive new and unique activities we should bring back to tell others about--as if it's not a real getaway if you can't say that you lived it up, tried new things (i.e. zip lining, skydiving, bungee jumping, scuba diving, etc.), saw every famous spot and checked one more item off of your bucket list.  But your next vacation getaway does not have to be so elaborate (and stressful).  It's just as fine to bring home stories of full bodied relaxation, soaks in hot natural mineral water, beautiful sunsets, and peaceful mountain lakes that look like glass.

Thanks to Christian Collins for the great photo of Lake of Glass, Rocky Mtn Nat Park, Colorado
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Present Moment Stillness and Relaxation

In a poem called East Coker, which is the first of four lengthy poems written by T.S Elliot called The Four Quartets, he wrote:

At the still point of the turning world.  Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement.  And do not call it fixity,
Where past and future are gathered.  Neither movement from nor towards,
Neither ascent nor decline.  Except for the point, the still point,
there would be no dance, and there is only the dance.

We could almost think of Elliot's Still Point as the center of gravity where a surfer rides the wave.  Not really moving toward anything, or away from anything, but existing on a point of balance in the present moment.  The surfer dances atop the surfboard, but relative to it, is not moving.  And though the board stays atop the moving wave, the wave never leaves the surface of the earth.

In many Zen stories a comparison is made between the mind, and the surface of water.  A busy mind--it is said--is like the surface of rough moving water; but a still and calm mind is like the surface of calm water that has settled to the point of stillness, where--like the surface of a mirror--a bird flying above could be seen as a reflection in the surface of the water below.

But stillness is not easy to realize for many of us in today's modern world.  Trying to see the reflection of anything on the surface of our minds is getting harder and harder as people's minds are frequently distracted by the rough waters of the over-stimulating effects of technology and a busy world.

But, as Elliot said, "there is only the dance".  In other words, there is only this moment, "where past and future are gathered".  Stillness is getting more and more difficult for many who--when sitting themselves down to relax--find that the churning waters of their minds continue to move.

Finding your own place of stillness can take time, but it's important to work on it a little bit every day.  Slowing down the body in a fast-paced world isn't simple, but it facilitates the slowing down of the mind, even if it takes the mind awhile to catch up with the stillness of the body.  Tai Chi, Qigong, Yoga, Meditation, are all means to work towards this goal.

If you traditionally have a hard time sitting still, start by at least slowing down.  Try to slow your pace, walk more calmly, eat more slowly, or develop a slow and intentional ritual before bed or rising in the morning.  Try reading more slowly and intentionally.  Try grocery shopping more slowly.  Try everything from your morning shower to washing the car at a pace that moves your closer to stillness.

In time you may find that you become more accustomed to stillness.  But stillness is not just physical.  It's also mental, emotional, and psychological.  Stillness means to not always be looking for the next thing to do, or get, or be.

Another good poet by the name of Chris McCombs wrote in his poem, Go Deeper:

Go deeper
Past thought
Into silence
Past silence
Into stillness
Past stillness
Into the Heart
Now
Let the Love
Consume
Whatever is left of you

Thanks to Hefin Owen for his great photo - Misty Sunrise Padarn Lake

Relaxation in the Public Parks

Thanks to the Trust for Public Lands (TPL), we have a lot of wonderful parks preserved right in our cities and residential areas.  These great places have been plucked out and conserved so that we all have nice areas to go relax, fly kites, play with the dog, have a picnic, or just enjoy being around some semblance of nature.  A park is a great place to find green grass, trees, fountains, benches and tables, as well as bike paths or scenic views.

You've probably driven by one of these nice parks every day during your hectic and stressful work schedule without hardly giving it a glance, but when was the last time you actually stopped to enjoy the peacefulness of one of these great places?

Because many parks are preserved close to residential and business areas, it's convenient to wander in during your lunch hour or even on your break (if you get one), and steal away even 5 or 10 minutes of relaxation.  The parks tend to draw a little bit of wildlife as well, such as ducks and geese, and give us however-little of a brief reminder that the concrete and steel we exist in throughout our day is not really the environment of our origin, and certainly doesn't fit with our natural instincts.

Parks are designed with relaxation and leisure in mind.  They cater to the individual who wants a moment to rest -- to sit in the grass, look at the trees, or walk a lot slower than the usual rush-and-hurry of the typical hectic work day.  Parks are where the casual picnic takes place, or where you can chew on a blade of grass, fumbling with a fallen twig, or kick off your shoes and feel the earth and cool grass beneath you.

Modern humans live inside boxes now --inside wood, plastic and chalk walls.  Parks help bring us back to our senses and remind us we are not made of those things.  We are a part of nature and even a small taste of this nature -- preserved for us in the form of parks -- is a great way to check in with the pulse of life and your connection to it.  It's a way to remind yourself who you are, and where you come from.

It's hard for some to give up the gadgets to go and taste a little of this nature's delight, but if you can manage it, leave the cell phone and MP3 player in your car, or shut off in your bag.  Why spoil a good thing?

Thanks to Ryan Latta for the great photo

Sitting Still: The Power of Relaxation

According to Peter Russell, author of Waking Up in Time, our world continues to accelerate with each passing year, month, day and hour.  As the world’s pace gets faster and faster, humans feel compelled to find ways of keeping up with it. 

Let’s face it, if you don’t keep up, you can’t really function in some respects.  Take, for example, the need to keep somewhat savvy about computers, or to adhere to the use of credit cards and electronic banking.  Without these, most would be unable to set up the daily use of things need to function, such as access to daily news and on-line job applications, or as equally important, the ability to communicate quickly by means of cell phones and texting.

There is a growing demand on us to hurry and rush as soon as we set our feet on the floor each morning.  Yet, despite the reality of these growing demands on us—and actually, because of them—it is all the more clear that there is a need to counter balance this growing pace with useful coping techniques that can help us find balance in a world that is spinning too fast sometimes.  We can choose to create our own daily schedule that has pockets of time in which we can go at our own pace.

The increasing pace of the world has also left many people with a restlessness about them.  It's not uncommon these days for people to feel uncomfortable with sitting still.  Literally... just sitting still.  Stillness not only seems unfamiliar to many, but leads to an internal dialogue that sounds something like this:  "This is a waste of time!", "There are so many other things I need to do", "I don't have time for this", etc.

In addition, our bodies have been so conditioned at this point to go go go, and been prodded to have endless tasks, chores, events and work, that we become restless with the very thought of sitting still.

That said, it's obvious that building some stillness back into one's life may need to be taken in small bits.  Reintroducing some time to simply sit in stillness may have to begin with just 5 minutes.  That's enough to start and can always be increased if you feel your getting somewhere.  Think of it as just what the doctor ordered, as the Zen saying goes:  "For quick, fast-acting relief, try slowing down."

Thanks to Balint Foldesi for his great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Reading for Relaxation

It is well known that many people can’t seem to shut the lights off and go to sleep at night unless they’ve first sat back and relaxed with a good book.  Something about that down time helps to get the body calm and in “sleep mode”.  But the calming results from reading are not just for bedtime.  Taking a good book with you on your lunch break, while passing the time at the library, or just sitting at the park, is a great way to settle the body down and relax.

The entire process of reading a good book requires that we slow down physically, hold still, and settle the body into a relaxed position.  As we read, our heart rate begins to slow down, breathing slows and stabilizes, and muscle tension begins to relax as our attention is captured in the story line of our reading material.

In addition, the process of reading directs the mind to a point of concentration, which prevents distraction by all of the other potential worry thoughts that compete for our attention throughout the day. 

When selecting reading as your mode of relaxation, be picky of the material you choose.  There is a time and place for taking in the news of the day, or reading other business or personal information that has the potential to upset you.  But when choosing reading material for your relaxation time, be sure it is something you enjoy.  A novel, a magazine of special interest, or poetry if that is what relaxes you the most.  What matters is that it's material that captures your mind and soul.  

Thanks to Nadine Heidirch for the great photo - Reading

Reducing Stress with Mantra Meditation

Meditation is a way of clearing the mind by focusing one's attention on a single thing.  There are many forms of meditation, such as seated meditation, standing meditation, walking meditation, visualization, and chanting meditations.   

Mantra Meditation is a form of meditation that uses the power of words to direct the mind to one single point where the use of a key word, or words, helps the individual to focus on a specific issue, topic, or area of personal growth.  The word, or words, can be thought of internally, or chanted externally, depending on the preference of the person meditating.

An example of Mantra Meditation, which was described by Thich Nhat Hanh, is to think or say the word "calm" while inhaling during meditation, and then think or say the word "smile" while exhaling.  Another mantra that can be used while doing your seated meditation, or throughout one's day while driving or working, is to repeat to yourself, "I am calm and peaceful".  

One of the most well known and most ancient forms of Mantra Meditation is to chant, say, or think the word "Om" while meditating.   Om is considered to be one of the most sacred mantras and is frequently used at the beginning of other sacred prayers or mantras, such as Om mani padme hum, a well known mantra used in Hindu and Buddhist prayer and meditation.

The great thing about using Mantra Meditation is that you can customize it to your personal needs.  For instance, if you are working on building your self esteem, you can meditate while focusing on the phrase, "I value myself.  I value others.  I value the world".  Or if you are working on your own anger management you can use a metta meditation which goes something like this:  "May all beings be happy.  May I be happy.  May all beings be peaceful.  May I be peaceful.  May all being be free.  May I be free", etc.  You get the picture.

Mantra meditation is very powerful.  One of the most powerful things it does is keep you from running the usual flow of negative thoughts that may traditionally run through your mind.  It's a very conscious and intentional practice and with time you can get very good at it.

Thanks to Hartwig HKD for the great photo - Amitabha 

Slowing Down for Stress Reduction

In today’s modern world, the pace of life seems to be getting faster and faster.  That’s why it’s important to make a point to intentionally slow down sometimes and not feel the need to always keep pace with the increasingly, unrealistic demand for speed.

Let's face it, if you accomplished the daily-recommended suggestions of nearly everything society claims to believe you should do, you'd have to give up relaxation completely.  Whether you are walking the dog, working out, brushing your teeth, or trying to fit in the recommended number of hours for sleep, it's not realistic to believe it can all fit into a single day.  Yet, we all try, and that is what contributes to the world's rising levels of human stress.

One idea for facing off with these external demands is to not let them become internal demands because, in the end, the final push to meet unrealistic demands eventually comes from ourselves.  We can blame the boss, spouse, and kids, but the lack of boundaries are actually our own.  If the "shoulds" take hold from the inside, then the ongoing drive to meet the demands of the world come from no one but ourselves.

In addition, when it comes to trying to slow your schedule down a little bit, big decisions may need to be made.  You may have to decide if you really have enough time to be a pet owner, or if the amount of time you devote to TV may perhaps need to be reduced.  Maybe you are devoting far more hours every week to your job than you are actually getting paid for, or maybe you are discovering that you are just not getting enough sleep to make it through each day.  In fact, if your schedule is so full that you find yourself getting up long before you are done resting in the morning just to keep up with tasks and events, then there may be several items that need to come off your plate in order to allow you to get the rest you need.

It's not necessary to race through life at warp speed.  Not much of any of those days can really be enjoyed or savored when you are hitting each event just lightly enough to hurriedly move on to the next thing.  Reducing unrealistic internal drives and setting healthy boundaries is a good start to finding more time in your day for relaxation.  It doesn't change overnight, but gradual progress can be made by trying one new thing each day that helps to reduce your load.

Thanks to Dennis van Zuljlekom for the great photo - Slowing Down