Holiday Traditions: Finding Peace in the Familiar

There are a lot of various traditions handed down from generation to generation regarding the holidays.  For some it is the way the tree is decorated, or just the specifics of a meal.  For others it might be songs that are sung or movies that are watched, or maybe traditional family pajamas or ornament decorating.

As we age traditions can change and we might miss some of the old traditions or feel uncomfortable with some of the new ones that come along with a changing life due to partnering or new environments.  But the good thing about holiday traditions is that you can always create new ones that brings you joy and good memories.  The comfort of holiday traditions can bring a feeling of peace and contentment that calms the mind and reduces stress.

One of the ways that traditions help with stress during the holidays is that they bring a sense of reassurance in a changing world that at times doesn't offer the same securities it might have in the past.  Traditions give us a place to come home to where something feel familiar in an uncertain world.

Creating memories with others using traditional rituals for the holidays can bring a sense of peace and joy, as well as bonding around when those traditions are repeated again in the new year.  They become the things that loved ones look forward to and long for when thinking of gathering again.

If you are missing some traditions that were once in your life during the holidays, there is always the chance this year to revive them, recreate them for a new generation, or create entirely new traditions that have the opportunity to become the things to look forward to year after year.

There is a lot of peace to be found in tradition and holiday ritual.  Here are some ideas for you to consider trying for yourself and your loved ones:

Mailing holiday cards, baking cookies or other treats, decorating your tree or home, making ornaments or decorations, creating gingerbread houses, caroling, holiday gathering to watch traditional movies, ugly sweater parties, burning a candle in memory of loved ones lost, going to look at local lights, holiday hayrides, annual tree decorating party, attending traditional performances, etc.

These are fairly traditional, but don't be afraid to come up with something very unique to you and yours.  A traditional cold-water plunge, card game, hot chocolate recipe, special soup, or any other number of unique things you want to weave into your comforting holiday routine is okay.  The point is to not just wait for traditions to be handed down from one generation to the next, but know you can start your own at any time.

If you don't like a holiday tradition you try this year, you don't have to repeat it again.  Just toss it aside and try something else.  But for the things that you find worthwhile, make a special place in your heart and memory to bring them out of the box again next year.

"We are what we repeatedly do"     ~Aristotle 

Thanks to Emily May for the great photo

Simplify the Holidays to Reduce Stress

As the holiday season nears, I hear a lot from others that things get increasingly hectic for them from about Halloween all the way through New Years.  There are a lot of varied factors that contribute to this stress, but one of the biggest is that of making things too complicated.  So finding ways to simplify it all can reduce your stress and get you through the holidays. 

Travel is one of the more common and expensive complications during the holidays.  Ways to simplify traveling include booking your flights early, taking turns every other year or more with relatives to not always be the one traveling, tap in to relatives and friends who live in the destination area to help you with transportation, and always travel light.

Cooking and meal planning are also tasks that can quickly get out of control if too many details and dishes are included.  Meal events can be much less stressful by asking everyone to bring a dish, see if others are willing to help out with some of the usual tasks like table setting, dishes, carving, entertaining guests and so on.  Keeping it simple with just the basics of food can only be helpful and avoiding long and complicated recipes that have high risk of failure when something more simple would do just as well.

Holidays are also a time when many people get sick.  General Adaptation Syndrome explains the way in which chronically high levels of stress will push us through the three stages of Alarm, Resistance, and finally Exhaustion.  When holidays finally come, the body can fall into the third stage of this series making us susceptible to illness due to a lowered immune system.  Ways to counter this are to utilize the time off, not for more stress or unhealthy behavior such as drinking or over eating, but using the time and opportunity to rest, relax, enjoy oneself.  It can be a time for focusing on eating a healthy diet while the opportunity presents itself for a break from the usual stressors of life outside of the holidays.  In other words, don't make your holiday break more complicated with excess, but instead try to simplify it with less.

Holidays don't need to be complicated and stressful.  Instead, they can and should be relaxing events where everyone can reenergize, relax and enjoy a break from the usual rushed and hectic schedule of everyday working life.

You can find my prior blog entry about ways to simplify the holidays here. 

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all."     ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Thanks to Faith Goble for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Anticipatory Anxiety: Coping with Election Worry

I've spoken to a lot of people lately who tell me that one of the things that is leaving them with worry and anxiety on most days is the upcoming election here in the United States.  It was of no matter if they were Democrats or Republicans, because the worry has sounded so similar that one doesn't really even need to know which side of the fence anyone is on.  The worry sounds the same.

Both sides seem worried about violence after the election, and both sides are worried that it seems no one can get along anymore.  Both sides seem to recall times when debate among citizens was safe and people could agree to disagree, and those on both sides seem so overwhelmed at the idea of the "other" candidate winning, that they can hardly do more than bury their heads in the sand until after the elections.

In the 2020 presidential election, despite it being a year when the voter turn-out was the highest it had been in 120 years, only 67% of the those who were eligible to vote, did so.  This year the 2024 results of the American Psychiatric Association's annual mental health poll shows that 73% of Americans are particularly anxious about the US elections, and no wonder since even Newsweek was prompted to ask in one of its September articles, "Is this the closest presidential race in history?"

With a little over two weeks to go until the elections, it seems that with all of this anticipatory anxiety in the air, that stress levels are only going to get higher for many unless steps are taken to reduce anxiety and turn the volume down.

Anticipatory anxiety has all the classic symptoms of many other kinds of anxiety, including muscle tension, rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, shortness of breath, etc.  But it also carries with it a sense of doom and worry about possible bad outcomes, and these kinds of thoughts lead to additional tendencies to ruminate about a future event by means of our active imagination that keeps us focused on future possibilities, rather than on the present.

There is also a lot of uncertainty with anticipatory anxiety which can lead to prolonged stress that lasts until the expected event is finally here or over.  So finding ways to periodically practice relaxation exercises is necessary to prevent your body and mind from running at a high idle for prolonged periods, which can lead to insomnia, distraction, and even physical illness.

One method of countering anticipatory anxiety is to imagine "positive what-ifs".  This method pushes against the ruminating mind that can only think of bad outcomes.  For the election this could be imagining that your candidate wins, but it can also mean imagining how you would cope in a positive way even if your candidate does not win.  In other words it counters ideas that try to convince you that you "couldn't handle it" if the other side wins.

It's also important to not lose track of your daily relaxation routine.  If you find you are forgetting to meditate, go for your mindful walk, take in that daily run, go for that swim, or are avoiding the hike you know brings you back to earth and keeps you centered, then give yourself a nudge to get back on track, especially now so close to the election.

Anticipatory anxiety is felt all the way up until the anticipated event finally happens, and then it disperses.  With this in mind, do all you can to not let it take a toll on your body and mind in the interim.  Know that you can handle the outcome no matter which way the wind blows.

"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it".               ~Alfred Hitchcock

Thanks to Lisa Zins for the great photo

Autumn Walk: A Mindfulness Practice

Autumn is a perfect time to let walking be your mindfulness practice.  It is full of all the richness that brings the senses alive and it's one of the healthiest and safest exercises for the human body.

A helpful exercise when practicing mindfulness is to focus on the senses, and a relaxing walk among the smells, sights and sounds of Autumn can be the perfect combination for staying in the present moment.

When our racing minds begin to take off to the future with worried "what-if" thinking, or when they drift to the past with messages of how things "should" have been, or "could" have been, then we are not present.  But mindfulness practices that bring us right into our senses can help with this.  The sounds, smells, view, feel and even the tastes we experience in the present moment are all that really exist.  We can consider the past and bring information from it to the present to help us solve something or move forward, and we can consider those worries about the future in order to apply action to productive worry, but letting our minds live in the past or future only leads to prolong feelings of depression and anxiety.  

Don't worry.  You're not alone if your mind tends to drift off into the past or future quite often, but you can get better and better at staying in the present by apply daily practices that exercise your ability to return to the present over and over again.  The more you practice mindfulness, the more frequently you will be present and the less you will suffer from the consequences of living in symptoms of depression and anxiety that are triggered by thoughts, and not reality.

A beautiful and relaxing Autumn walk is perfect for these kinds of mindfulness practices.  In such an environment you can intentionally pay attention to the brilliant changing colors all around you.  Fall is a time of year that offers carpeted paths of fallen leaves of shades ranging from yellow and green, to orange and red.  The changing environment around you will also offer the smells of the changing season.  Damp leaves and transforming forest floors produce the smells of the shifting season as the trees around you are shedding their growth for the coming winter. 

There is something about walking among all those leaves that also has a feel of insulation that softens sound.  Depending on where you live, you will also hear the sound of the traveling birds as they make their way south this time of year, and other animals will be busy in the bush preparing their winter homes and food supply.

As you zero in on these senses during your walk, you may not notice it but your mind is no longer racing into the future with worry or drifting into the past with sorrow, regret, and other emotions that surface.  These changes also preventing any ongoing unnecessary symptoms that those memories or worries create in your present moment.

Here is an exercise for your Autumn walk.  Spend 5 minutes on each statement, rotating through them repeatedly throughout your walk:  "What do I see?", "What do I hear?", "What do I smell?", "What do I taste?", and "What do I feel?"  The very last one listed here is not about feeling emotionally or psychologically, but what you feel physically, such as the temperature, or the sun on your face, or your clothing on your body, etc.  In addition, if you do not detect something in one of your senses, that's okay.  For instance, if you are not eating anything, or do not have gum or anything else in your mouth, you might not really taste anything at the moment, and that's okay.  Just move to the next sense and continue.

This is a beautiful time of year to get outside and enjoy the mild temperatures, as well as the beautiful colors and smells.  They say there is no time like the present, but the truth is that the present is the only time that really exists.  So it should say, "There is no time but the present". 

"Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree."     ~EmilyBronte

Thanks to Sebnem Gulfidan for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Gadget Addiction: Ways to Take Stress-free Breaks from your Electronics

Do you remember the first time you decided to start keeping your cell phone by your bed at night?  Not just charging, but actually turned on and within reach?  Maybe at first it was so the kids could reach you if there was an emergency, or maybe you started using it as an alarm clock or just a clock in the night.  Are there other devices that join it on the night stand?  A pager?  Pedometer?  Digital watch?  Maybe your Kindle reader?  And this is just at the relaxing point of bed and rest.  What about in the kitchen?  What gadgets are there?  Isn't the thermostat a computer now, and the toothbrush, and the coffee maker, and the click of your car key, at least for some advanced automobiles, to start the car before you even go out to enter it?  There are bikes now that will pedal for you if the going gets too strenuous?  I like the idea of that!  The places one can go with such an e-bike.   And who wouldn't when each of these devices makes the lives of humans easier.  Devices take us beyond our human capability to reach knowledge, accomplishments, and finish projects in ways we never could with our human limitations. 

But let's stop for a moment and remember that we are still human beings and humans are not machines or devices.  We "use" devices to help us do things that go beyond our ability (and many within our ability), and so the creation of most of them was, we hope, with good intentions by all.  But the human being has a much more advanced skill than machines do, and that is the discernment to know when to not use machines.  Or at the very least, when to take a break from them.  A machine can know it is over heating or running beyond its capacity and shut down, but a human can know when to step out of the world of gadgets and look up from the screen to see the waterfall or flower right in front of them.

Gadget addiction is a real thing.  One of the most obvious outcomes of excessive use of technology is that humans are becoming increasingly sedentary.  Some may even say "lazy".  Some of the latest artificial intelligence can write a paper for you and come up with all the ideas and suggestions for a problem or solution.  It can even create the most magnificent works of art.  But each time a human decides to give away this ability to think for themselves, or act for themselves, they are slowly becoming an observer, rather than an active person in this life.

So far, the varied research on overuse of gadgets, screens, and technology has revealed that there is a connection with isolation, depression, anxiety, and reduced attention span.  What is still being deciphered is the chicken and the egg problem.  Is it depression and anxiety that leads some to disappear into their devices and use them to try to feel better?  Or is it the devices themselves that are leading human beings to have these outcomes, and all the symptoms that come with them, including insomnia, aggression, lack of motivation, "fear of missing out" (FOMO), reduced self-esteem due to constant online comparisons, eye strain, hand and arm strain, and more.

Many of our gadgets help us to be more efficient in the world, but if we begin to identify with them too much, we can forget our humanness and our human limitations.  Finding ways to take breaks from our electronics can help rest the eyes and body, encourage us to connect more with nature (which we are a part of), and move us to exercise some of the abilities we have been letting machines do for us.  Taking time to step away from these helpful devices can help us keep a sense of balance between the two worlds of human and machine.

Here are some ways to take breaks from your devices:

*Consider shutting your phone off for periods of time (60 minutes to start).

*Try to let places like the dinner table be gadget-free zones.

*Go for a walk and let your eyes focus on something farther away than your screen or phone.

*Go places your devices can't always go or be on, like the sandy beach, the pool, or theater.

*Turn off your notification sounds so you are not prompted to your devices as frequently.

*Read a book or magazine.

You can find my prior blog entry about Gadgets and stress here:  Reducing Stress by Unplugging 

"Technology doesn't just do thing for us.  It does things to us, changing not just what we do, but who we are."     ~Sherry Turkle

Thanks to Jaci XIV for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/

Political Burnout: How to Reduce Your Stress

I once heard a woman from the United Kingdom say that she has no idea on earth why we Americans torture ourselves so much during our presidential election cycles.  The pattern begins early and floods the media and culture with noise and more politics than most care to hear about on a daily basis.

I recently took a wide-sweeping survey among those I interact with every day to ask how people are feeling right now about the current election situation here in the United States.  The general and overall summary was that many feel disconnected, disinterested, removed, and basically apathetic about it.  Some told me that they don't have time for it right now, while others expressed that they have too much going on in their lives to bother with anything related to this election year.  But at the exact same time, those who gave these answers expressed them with an eye-rolling frustration that told me they actually do have an opinion, and they do care, but are just frustrated and burned out on the politically saturated environment in the United States.

In January this year the Pew Research Center put out an article entitled  Tuning Out:  Americans on the Edge of Politics, in which they gathered varied comments from responders on how they are feeling regarding politics and elections here in our country.  The comments range from "can't escape it", to feeling they have no idea what to even believe anymore.  There is a good link as well (at the end of the overview) leading to an additional article called, Americans' Dismal Views of the Nation's Politics,where they support their findings and open our eyes to the reality of what has become of our views about this topic in America.  This time last year 65% of Americans said they feel "exhausted" when thinking of politics.

So if you are finding that tuning into the evening news only results in turning it off shortly after, you are not alone.  But the disinterest in the political scene does not come free of stress and anxiety because many people have expressed to me that they do care very much about outcomes in the arena of politics.  Yet they just feel too fatigued of the saturation of it all at this point when the topic of it just keeps being thrown at them over and over again.  Tuning out is a way to rest the brain and the emotions when something feels overwhelming and allows oneself to "come up for air", so-to-speak.  The election here is just over three months away and you can be assured, the focus on this topic won't stop there.

Like any kind of burnout, one step you can take is reducing your exposure to the flood, and in this case the flood is of political information that comes during an election year.  Not easy since it's literally everywhere you turn.  But tuning out of the news once you get the basic top stories of the day does helps.  

Practicing relaxation techniques is key.  You can find my blog entry from just before the 2020 election here in which I talk about the importance of maintaining stress reducing techniques in order to cope both before and after elections.  Get away from the screens when you can, and limit time exposure when you can't.  Avoid friends and acquaintances who are "political arguers" and who seem to pull you into battles that solve nothing, and instead only raise your blood pressure and heart rate.  Relaxation techniques are key at times like this and avoiding other poor coping behaviors such as alcohol and drug use (or other destructive behaviors) that only make things worse, is the way to more satisfactory outcomes.

You might not have the power to control the run-away train called the "political election system" in the United States, but you do have the power to turn down the dial on any conduit that flows it into your immediate vicinity, and which brings this noise to you in an abundance you don't care for.

"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence.  It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare".     ~Audre Lorde

Thanks to charles spoorn for the great photo

Summer Solstice: Our Seasonal Changing Mood

As I write this blog it is the Summer Solstice 2024.  It's a time for rejuvenation and a celebration of revitalized energy.  Looking at my calendar I also see it is a full moon.  So symbolic for the season and, according to NASA, this is the first time in 40 years that the full moon has fallen on the first day of Summer.  It's called a "Strawberry Moon" because it is the peak season for harvesting strawberries in the Northeast.   It's the day of the year with the most amount of daylight and the least amount of darkness.  So of course, those prone to depression tend to feel a bit better this time of year as the revitalization of the season fills them up and gives them more energy.

Basically, this is the time of year where our species has found various ways to celebrate the life-giving force of the sun and celebrate the way it aids in the growing of everything we know on this planet to be life giving and life sustaining.  This includes the way it boosts human energy and mood in a way that gives us more desire to be active and do things, which in turn can help with exercise and sleep patterns.

We think of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) as something that only happens in the Winter with increased cases of depression and sadness, but with warm weather comes the stress of heat and for some the increased levels of energy during the Summer can lead to increased occurences of anxiety symptoms and usher in a different kind of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Some of the ways that SAD looks different in the Summer is that since energy levels rise in the body people can experience things such as anxiety, insomnia, and restlessness, and because there is more daylight we tend to get to bed later or even stay up late to enjoy the cool of the night, which can lead to loss of sleep needed to get through the next day.  So believe it or not, even depression can set in over time, just like it does in the Winter.

Ways to regulate mood in the Summer include keeping a regular schedule for your sleep wake cycle, staying cool and hydrated, as well as practicing your relaxation techniques on a regular basis including meditation, abdominal breathing, exercise, and daily journaling.  Exercise is easier and more accessible in the summer, so get out and partake in everything from walking and hiking, to summer sports and activities in the parks.  Be sure to counter-balance that, however, with rest and relaxation and take in that great summer revitalization by soaking in gentle hot springs, lounging a bit on the deck or at the pool side or beach, and relaxing in the cool evenings that are geared at regulating body temperatures after a long hot day.

Our ancestors celebrated this time of year by building bonfires and dancing around them (even leaping over them) in festive ritual.  A more modern idea is to consider writing words or phrases on paper that you want to let go of for the year and burning them in the fire to "let them go".   You can celebrate with some hydrating foods like watermelon, grapes and fruit.  And be sure to go out and try to see that wonderful rare Strawberry Moon tonight.  All of your whole body knows what time of year it is!

You can find my earlier blog entry about Seasonal Affective Disorder here

"I have only to break into the tightness of a strawberry, and I see summer--its dust and lowering sky."     ~Toni Morrison

Thanks to Nigel Hoult for the great photo