Holiday Stress and Spending Less

One of the most stressful things many of us encounter in life is that of financial worry.  The only things found to be more stressful are work and health issues.  According to economist Mark Zandi, as of August 2025, 22 US states were found to already be in a recession, and 13 others are almost in the same basket.  Which is why this month's post is about ways to really consider giving yourself a break financially this holiday season, and allow yourself to find ways to take the pressure off the annual push to spend more than necessary.

A familiar family traditions that aids the whole clan in spending less during the holidays is the drawing of names for buying gifts.  Yes, it's true, you won't get a pile of gifts to open, but everyone gets a nice gift while also only needing to buy one present for the individual whose name they drew.  No, it's not depressing and what a nice relief for everyone involved who can put the pocket book away or have a few dollars left to participate in giving in smaller ways elsewhere.

Which brings us to the next concept for saving money during the holidays, and that is asking family and guests to participate in providing the make-up of the holiday meal.  Creating a potluck out of it brings in a wide variety of dishes, gives everyone something more they can do after buying their one gift, and gives the host a break financially, while divvying up the work of putting on a holiday event so everyone can equally enjoy the festivities.

An additional money-saver is to consider staying local for the holidays.  Cutting out the expense of travel, be it by airline or car, can keep needed money in the bank for personal needs at home, such as the higher grocery costs right now and the need to preserve funds for any future expenses that might arise in the new year such as car repairs, unexpected home needs, or costs for the predicted rise in healthcare expenses coming in 2026.

Thrift stores are also a great place to find things that are of good quality, reusable, and interchangeable, meaning you can donate them back and buy again next year at reasonable prices, such as ornaments, artificial trees, electric lights, and gift cards.  But thrift stores these days hold so much more promise in that many nearly new items can be found that also make for great gifts for loved ones and friends, and help the environment by not participating in the constant need for materials for more products.

It's also helpful to not fall into the "must" or the "should" trap during the holidays in which you buy into false beliefs that everything must be perfect and no one should go without top-cost items.  The holidays have a lot of potential completely outside of money and purchases.

So, give yourself a break this year, and give those around you a break as well by simplifying things and reducing the financial pressure to break the bank and stretch the wallet beyond its means in an already strained economy.  Take a breath and let this year capture a simpler concept of the holiday season that doesn't leave you and those around you paying for it for months to come.

You can find another one my older blog entries about finding ways to reduce holiday stress here

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."     ~Oprah Winfrey

Thanks to David Geitgey Sierralupe for the great photo (cropped and reversed), https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

Relapse Prevention: Stress and the Holidays

Did you know that Christmas Day is the busiest day for alcohol deliveries?  And another interesting fact, is that most people in the United States who drink alcohol tend to nearly double their use between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day, leading to a 40% increase in sales for many liquor stores, and a 116% increase in alcohol-related auto fatalities on New Year's Eve.  It's also one of the toughest times of the year for those who are trying to recover from alcoholism and other substance abuse addictions, as they try to maintain their recovery and sobriety.

It would be too simple to say that it's just negative feelings and emotions, such as grief or loneliness, that lead to increased substance abuse during the holidays, as joyful celebrations and time spent with loved ones also lead to the same kinds of struggles and relapses.  But one thing that is common among all the various emotions that lead to relapse and abuse of substances is stress.  And as we all know, what is stressful for some is not stressful for all, but everyone has something they find stressful about the holidays.  Whether it's picking up relatives at the airport, or being the one trying to catch a flight in a snow storm.  So the demand for stress management is never quite as high as it is during the holidays.

The first step toward reducing the stress that can trigger your holiday relapse is to know your triggers.  For some people their trigger is lack of sleep, and for others it is being around certain people.  But knowing what usually sets off your emotions (positive or negative) in the direction of relapses is top on the list of relapse prevention strategies.

In addition, have an exit plan.  In other words, how will you avoid getting pulled in by your triggers?  When that certain relative does that certain thing that always sets you off (and you knew it was coming or only a matter of time), what is your plan going to be to not get pulled in?  Will you move to a different room, would stepping outside for a break do the trick, or could focusing on conversation with someone else be the key.

Also, knowing the key emotions to avoid or remedy can put you ahead of the curve when it comes to relapse prevention.  For instance, if loneliness is something that can tip you over the edge to seek out your substance of choice, then plan ahead to make sure you are with others who support you and your sobriety.

Most of all, planning ahead with a well-thought-out relapse prevention plan can be your best strategy and help you avoid mistakes and downfalls that can only deaden your momentum and progress. 

You can find a list of 14 tips for relapse prevention here, offered by the NAS (National Addictions Specialists). You can also find my prior blog entry from May of 2024 Relapse Prevention: Making Changes Now to Be Ready Later, which talks about how to build your relapse prevention plan, including a nice link to Psych Central's article on Relapse Prevention.

"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgence.  Caring for myself is an act of survival."     ~Audre Lorde

Thanks to Julia 2006 for the great photo (cropped), https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en

Holiday Traditions: Finding Peace in the Familiar

There are a lot of various traditions handed down from generation to generation regarding the holidays.  For some it is the way the tree is decorated, or just the specifics of a meal.  For others it might be songs that are sung or movies that are watched, or maybe traditional family pajamas or ornament decorating.

As we age traditions can change and we might miss some of the old traditions or feel uncomfortable with some of the new ones that come along with a changing life due to partnering or new environments.  But the good thing about holiday traditions is that you can always create new ones that brings you joy and good memories.  The comfort of holiday traditions can bring a feeling of peace and contentment that calms the mind and reduces stress.

One of the ways that traditions help with stress during the holidays is that they bring a sense of reassurance in a changing world that at times doesn't offer the same securities it might have in the past.  Traditions give us a place to come home to where something feel familiar in an uncertain world.

Creating memories with others using traditional rituals for the holidays can bring a sense of peace and joy, as well as bonding around when those traditions are repeated again in the new year.  They become the things that loved ones look forward to and long for when thinking of gathering again.

If you are missing some traditions that were once in your life during the holidays, there is always the chance this year to revive them, recreate them for a new generation, or create entirely new traditions that have the opportunity to become the things to look forward to year after year.

There is a lot of peace to be found in tradition and holiday ritual.  Here are some ideas for you to consider trying for yourself and your loved ones:

Mailing holiday cards, baking cookies or other treats, decorating your tree or home, making ornaments or decorations, creating gingerbread houses, caroling, holiday gathering to watch traditional movies, ugly sweater parties, burning a candle in memory of loved ones lost, going to look at local lights, holiday hayrides, annual tree decorating party, attending traditional performances, etc.

These are fairly traditional, but don't be afraid to come up with something very unique to you and yours.  A traditional cold-water plunge, card game, hot chocolate recipe, special soup, or any other number of unique things you want to weave into your comforting holiday routine is okay.  The point is to not just wait for traditions to be handed down from one generation to the next, but know you can start your own at any time.

If you don't like a holiday tradition you try this year, you don't have to repeat it again.  Just toss it aside and try something else.  But for the things that you find worthwhile, make a special place in your heart and memory to bring them out of the box again next year.

"We are what we repeatedly do"     ~Aristotle 

Thanks to Emily May for the great photo

Simplify the Holidays to Reduce Stress

As the holiday season nears, I hear a lot from others that things get increasingly hectic for them from about Halloween all the way through New Years.  There are a lot of varied factors that contribute to this stress, but one of the biggest is that of making things too complicated.  So finding ways to simplify it all can reduce your stress and get you through the holidays. 

Travel is one of the more common and expensive complications during the holidays.  Ways to simplify traveling include booking your flights early, taking turns every other year or more with relatives to not always be the one traveling, tap in to relatives and friends who live in the destination area to help you with transportation, and always travel light.

Cooking and meal planning are also tasks that can quickly get out of control if too many details and dishes are included.  Meal events can be much less stressful by asking everyone to bring a dish, see if others are willing to help out with some of the usual tasks like table setting, dishes, carving, entertaining guests and so on.  Keeping it simple with just the basics of food can only be helpful and avoiding long and complicated recipes that have high risk of failure when something more simple would do just as well.

Holidays are also a time when many people get sick.  General Adaptation Syndrome explains the way in which chronically high levels of stress will push us through the three stages of Alarm, Resistance, and finally Exhaustion.  When holidays finally come, the body can fall into the third stage of this series making us susceptible to illness due to a lowered immune system.  Ways to counter this are to utilize the time off, not for more stress or unhealthy behavior such as drinking or over eating, but using the time and opportunity to rest, relax, enjoy oneself.  It can be a time for focusing on eating a healthy diet while the opportunity presents itself for a break from the usual stressors of life outside of the holidays.  In other words, don't make your holiday break more complicated with excess, but instead try to simplify it with less.

Holidays don't need to be complicated and stressful.  Instead, they can and should be relaxing events where everyone can reenergize, relax and enjoy a break from the usual rushed and hectic schedule of everyday working life.

You can find my prior blog entry about ways to simplify the holidays here. 

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all."     ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Thanks to Faith Goble for the great photo, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Holiday Relapse Risks: Making a Plan to Stay on Track

It's that time of year again as we are in the heart of the holiday season, and though it is exciting and joyful for some, it can also be stressful for many.  Be it financial strain, the rush and hurry of shopping, or just the planning and scheduling to meet with family and friends.  All are potential triggers for a long list of mental health and addiction problems.

The time-frame between Thanksgiving and New Years contains some of the highest levels of drinking during the entire year.  It's believed these excesses of drinking nearly double from normal use for many and tend to be highest on Thanksgiving Eve, Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, when people know they have the next day off.

In addition, depression and anxiety worsen during the holidays and are typically triggered, again, by the increased levels of stress.  Holiday parties at work and with friends, as well as gatherings with family who have the potential of pushing one another's buttons during family gatherings, all can trigger even higher levels of stress than normal and lead to increased levels of depression and anxiety.  These events are worsened in the presence of Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is more prominent in the winter months, but they can also worsen already treated mental health conditions which can become destabilized under the stress of the holiday rush.

Relapse prevention plans are the key to getting through the holidays.  That goes for both addictive issues and mental health issues.  Relapse prevention is how "high risk" situations are prevented and how stressful situations that can trigger a return to either abusive levels of addictive behavior, or situations that can trigger depression or anxiety, are prevented.

With relapse prevention, one of the first things to determine and know about yourself is what your triggers are, and then to have key stress reducing plans and techniques in place for coping with the emotions surrounding these situations before they get a chance to tip the scales and heighten the risk for relapse.

Below you will find some helpful links from Psych Central to help you along your path to creating your own holiday relapse prevention plans for addiction and mental health concerns.  Whatever you do, don't put it off.  It's always worth planning in advance to keep yourself on track and find the success you want:

*Tips for Managing Triggers during Addiction Recovery:  https://psychcentral.com/addictions/5-tips-for-managing-triggers-during-addiction-recovery#identifying-triggers

*Relapse Prevention:  https://psychcentral.com/lib/relapse-prevention#1

*Cognitive Reminders to help you Cope with a Depression Relapse:  https://psychcentral.com/depression/the-fear-of-relapse-cognitive-tools 

"Today I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself."   ~Meldoy Beattie

Thanks to Tom lpri for the great holiday image, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Holiday Aroma: The Relaxing Smells of the Holiday Season

If your family tradition is to get a real Yuletide tree for the home each year, then you have experienced the association of seasonal smells that come with the holidays.  Psychotherapists that utilize aroma therapy in their work have known for years that the use of aromas can contribute to the rise of feelings, memories and reactions associated with them, and during the holiday season this triggering is more true than just about any other time of the year.

It's not just evergreen trees that trigger relaxation, happy memories and joy during the holidays.  The end-of-year celebrations have a multitude of triggering aromas, from hot chocolate and candies to cinnamon and peppermint.  Whatever it may be, finding the correct aroma for yourself is key in knowing what helps bring you joy and relaxation during this festive time of the year.

With all of this in mind, it's important to know that just as an association of aroma with fond memories and events is positive, there may also be aromas that bring you sorrow, irritation, and pain.  Knowing what these are is also important so you can arrange for positive outcomes throughout the holiday season.  Just remember that it's different for everyone.  The smell of a Yuletide evergreen tree is not the same for everyone and is not universally "pleasant".  For one person it can have a positive association with opening presents and hearing favorite holiday music, and for another it can bring painful memories of negative events that perhaps happened in association to the tree during any given occasion in the past.

You most likely already know which holiday aromas are most pleasant to you and which ones you steer clear of.  The reason is because they trigger memories and emotions right away.  But there might be some physical and emotional reactions that take a little while to sink in and you may not fully realize that you've been affected by them until a gradual emotion or mood surfaces.  Becoming gradually sad or finding yourself getting incrementally cheerful might mean that you were triggered by an aroma earlier than "now", such as passing through a store while shopping for holiday gifts but not realizing until an hour later that you might have been triggered by the aroma of candles or oils while in the store earlier.  So try to notice if a memory or feeling has crept up on you from aroma triggers you might not have noticed at the time they occurred.  

It might take a few holiday seasons for you to experiment with aroma therapy, but based on your present awareness of yourself, you can help to enhance your relaxation and stress reduction during the holidays by surrounding yourself with the aromas you already know well.  Finding safe sources for these aromas is also important so be careful to check the products you purchase to make sure they are as safe as possible to your lungs and overall health.

Aroma therapy sources may include candles, scented sachets, potpourri, essential oils and oil diffusers, lotions, sprays, perfumes, soaps, bath beads, burning smokeless incense, balms, and herbs.  Each is a personal preference and no one method is better than the other.  Your choice is part of the process of finding the most enjoyable aromas for your mind and body.

Hellen Keller, who lost her eyesight and hearing before she was 2yrs old, was well known for her incredible writing and communication skills which frequently shone light on awareness of the power that our "other" senses have.  She wrote that, "Smell is a potent wizard that transports us across thousands of miles and all the years we have lived."  

Thanks to micadew for the great holiday photo.

Greed and Holiday Stress

In Buddhism, greed is considered to be one of the three poisons, alongside ignorance and anger (or hatred).  Greed is an interesting concept when you think about it.  It means:  "A selfish and excessive desire for more of something".

If you need several million dollars to retire that's one thing, but to want several million dollars just because a few hundred thousand, or a few thousand is not enough for your desire, then you are being greedy.

During the Holidays we can see the worst of people's greed show itself.  "I want" is a frequent comment we hear as people list off all the things they want for Christmas.  "I want a new bike", "I want a new video game", or "I want money".

In America the facts show that only 1% of the richest people in the country hold a much larger portion of the countries wealth.  But no matter if you have or don't have wealth, your leaning towards greed can vary.  A very wealthy person can be quite satisfied with the amount and things they have (and generously share it, as well), while a very average income-maker might continue to want things and money in excess of their ability.  As the definition goes, greed is "selfish" and "excessive".  It's beyond what is actually needed and is wrapped up in the individual's desire for more.

In the United States we are nearly all guilty of greed.  We want more money, more things, bigger homes, nicer cars, more food, more substances, and the more we get the more we continue to want.  The holidays reflect this to excess in things such as the store-front rushes on Black Friday, where shoppers push, shove, and even punch one another to grab the first of an electronic device that has already been stocked up to sell for the day to anyone coming in.

Many elderly people who know they have already lived the majority of their lives--and have begun to downsize and simplify--will many times say, "I don't need anything" when asked what they want for a holiday gift.  Or, they might state only one item that they actually need.  "Just get me some slippers", they say.  Knowing that the ones they have are beginning to wear out.  We can take a lesson from their wisdom.

Greed can be stressful and cause increased stress among those around you.  That's why it's important to keep your desires in check during the holidays.  What's enough?  Ask yourself this frequently while shopping, cooking, spending, and especially when taking in substances like alcohol, sugar and marijuana.  When asked, "What do you want for Christmas?," stop for a moment and consider the giver who may be strapped for money, or worried that whatever they get you might not be "good enough".  Be simple in your desires, and simple in your giving.

Happy Holidays!
Namaste

Thanks to William Brawley for the great holiday photo
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Simplifying Thanksgiving and Lowering Stress

In America, from Halloween until New Years, stress levels tend to rise.  There are many things that perpetuate this trend, such as increased shopping, spending, eating and outward focus, as the holiday season is about giving and sharing time with family and friends.

One of the reasons the holidays have become so hectic is because over the generations, we've tended to make these events much more complicated than they need to be.  In fact, simplifying these events can bring back the joy and reduce stress levels for everyone.

For Thanksgiving this year, keep in mind that you don't have to prepare a large event gathering all by yourself.  Though it is a large feasting event, there is no need for there to be multiple things for one person to prepare.  This only leads to feeling overwhelmed with keeping track of it all.  Be sure to reduce your load by asking everyone who attends to help out by bringing a dish.  This not only helps the person(s) preparing the main meal, but also gives attendees something to do so they can feel they've contributed to the event.

Once people arrive, have simple tasks ready to assign out to anyone offering to help.  There are a number of things others can do to participate in the preparation of the main meal, such as chopping foods, setting the table, carving the meat, pouring wine, greeting guests, etc.  If you are a guest, be sure to show your thanks by offering to do some of these helpful things.

Thanksgiving is about gathering to give thanks.  So be ready to step back and let conversations unfold.  Consider a living room gathering during dessert in which each person is given the opportunity to express what they are thankful for.  Leave some various board games accessible for people who want to play and converse, and stay mindful about what you are personally thankful for as you include yourself in the unfolding festivities. 

There is no need to complicate the event by adding in shopping, which pulls people away from the event and distracts from the festivities.  Something to consider instead is a traditional after-dinner movie, such as A Christmas Carol, or Scrooge.  Or maybe traditional holiday cartoons to keep it light and fun.  Allow plenty of time for visiting with your guests, since this gathering together is really what it's all about.

Keeping the holidays simple is the best way to keep your stress and anxiety at a minimum.  You want to be able to enjoy it and capitalize on the opportunity to relax, catch your breath, and most of all... remember what you are thankful for.

Thanks to Martin Cathrae for the great holiday photo
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Reducing Stress with Local Travel Trips

Sometimes traveling can be an adventure, and it's a goal many of us seek in life.  However, it can also lead to a lot of stress and complicated planning that can increase anxiety as the details and intricate pieces of a complicated trip unfold.  That's why considering more simplified local travel trips in your own area can be much more enjoyable and a lot less expensive and taxing.

We tend to always think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, or at least in someone else's state or country besides our own.  But if you do a little digging, you might realize that many people work to try and come to your own area for things you never knew existed.  Festivals, parades, annual celebrations and gatherings, lakes, mountains, sporting events, unique geological spots like hot springs, and volcanic rock formations.  Most places have some kind of history that makes them special, be that for wildlife, camping and hiking, or just for the local life of breweries, restaurants and unique architecture.

If you tend to feel like you need another entire vacation just to rest up after returning from your vacations, you might need to rethink what you consider a relaxing getaway, and consider new ways to make your plans a lot less stressful.  Staying fairly local, or within your own surrounding state can be less expensive as it doesn't require as much time spent in flight, train or car.  In fact, you can actually spend more time enjoying whatever it is you've gone to do or see.  And if it saves you so much to stay local that you have extra vacation funds left over, then you can spend that on more local things like boating, helicopter tours, museums, interesting new foods, and the plentiful spa, massage, and relaxation offerings in most vacation spots.

We can get stuck believing that a real vacation is one that is loaded with lots of expensive new and unique activities we should bring back to tell others about--as if it's not a real getaway if you can't say that you lived it up, tried new things (i.e. zip lining, skydiving, bungee jumping, scuba diving, etc.), saw every famous spot and checked one more item off of your bucket list.  But your next vacation getaway does not have to be so elaborate (and stressful).  It's just as fine to bring home stories of full bodied relaxation, soaks in hot natural mineral water, beautiful sunsets, and peaceful mountain lakes that look like glass.

Thanks to Christian Collins for the great photo of Lake of Glass, Rocky Mtn Nat Park, Colorado
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

Stress Reduction and The Quiet Therapy of Morita

In America, starting right around Halloween in October, the energy and activity around the country tends to ramp up and stay that way well through the first of the year.  Consumerism and capitalism show themselves in all their glory as citizens begin to eat more, spend more, do more, drink more, gamble more, shop more and run the race to please all their friends and family with gifts and entertainment they can't afford to give.

People travel and put up real or artificial evergreen trees and decorate everything from home and office, to shop and community center.  They plan large meals for the November and December holiday gatherings of family, friends and coworkers.  And as you can imagine, stress levels rise right along with all the festive activities.

Lucky for us, Mindfulness and Mindfulness Meditation practice made its way to our shores in the 1960's and 70's and has made its mark in helping many people learn to try to stay focused and not let the mind run amok even during times of stress.  But there is another therapy that is very similar to--and includes--mindfulness and mindfulness based cognitive therapy concepts that is not frequently talked about.  A gentle and graceful method that originated in Japan called, Morita.  Morita is one of the best known of five "Quiet Therapies" in Japan, and was created by Shoma Morita.  Like the concepts found in other mindfulness based therapies, its goal is to help people "accept life as it is".

Shoma Morita was a researcher and philosopher who was also trained in Zen Buddhism, so some of his own methods for confronting life are built into Morita Therapy, including that his method has its foundations in ecology or nature, thus helping people learn to follow the natural order of things instead of battle against them.  Morita is one of five Quiet Therapist, which include naikan, seiza, shadan, and Zen.

I like to think of this kind of Quiet Therapy as a "reboot", in the same way one might reboot a computer.  The idea is to shut down first and then gradually reintroduce the realities of life in order to get a fresh start.  Of course the original idea with the four stages of this therapy was to "shut down" the human being by means of hospitalization, and then begin to slowly reintroduce life to that individual in increments, but very few of us really ever need to be hospitalized due to our stress, and so what we mean in everyday life by "shut down" has to be taken as it is relative to your personal life.  Maybe it means a vacation from work and family, maybe it means going on a retreat, maybe it means nothing more than one day off from work for a mental health day.  No matter what method you use to shut off the constant flow of stress that streams into your life on a regular basis, the first stage of shutting down is then followed by a second stage of light activity, and a third stage of heavy activity, and finally a fourth stage of re-entry to life "as it is".  You can read more about Morita Therapy here:  Morita Therapy, and through a book by David Reynolds, called  The Quiet Therapies

So what does this mean for the holidays?  It means that much can be done with a holiday week off.  The week can include a mini "shut down" and restart.  Or, if you don't get the holiday off to shut off the stressors of daily life, consider what you can do come the new year in order to get a brief break to restart your system.  The bombardment of activity, pressures, requirements, stressors and demands (especially in America) cannot constantly go unchecked.  There needs to be an occasional shut down and restart in order for you to stay connected to life as it really is.  Real life has a sunrise and sunset, flowers to see and smell, a body that needs rest, and time limitations that remind you life does not last forever... and you are missing it.

Thanks to Robert Couse-Baker for the excellent photo
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

We're all in this Stress Together

You've heard it said that we are all in this life together, and so it follows that we may also experience stress at the same time as our fellow humans, which makes it also true that making attempts to relieve others of their stress can at the same time help to reduce our own.

Unfortunately, I'm once again writing just after another set of mass shootings in the United States, as well as just after the American midterm elections of 2018.  If you don't think your fellow citizens in the US are stressed out, think again.  This stress has reverberations that travel around the world as well, making people uneasy in every country and small community.

It's tempting to pull inside, close the shutters, and let your anxiety get the best of you, but this is actually not a time for that.  Part of the problem is a growing lack of community and support among people, and so trusting less is not the solution.

Instead, I encourage you to see that it's important right now to lift one another up and support one another so that fear does not get the best us.  There are little things you can do every day that help to reduce the stress of your fellow neighbor.  From complimenting them on something they do well, to thanking them for something they've done for you or for others.

Since the holiday season is coming fast, we will be giving thanks for all that we are grateful for, as well as celebrating a festive and even spiritual idea of what this time of year means to each of us, personally. I encourage you to recognize your connection to others and to heighten your awareness that your stress is a reflection of their stress as well.  Try to do things that help to reduce the stress of others.  In doing so, you recognize you are in this world right alongside them and in reducing their stress, you also reduce your own.

Here are some ideas for you to try that could reduce your stress, and the stress of those around you:

*Consider having a holiday gathering that includes the widest array of diverse people you can think of.  This can bring people together, let those in targeted groups feel welcome, assure others that there are safe places, and remind us all that not every situation must include conflict.

*If you see people in the community who seem frightened right now, find a way to let them know you are a safe person.  That you are not hate filled, rejecting, or unable to discuss an issue or hear a view you disagree with without raising your voice or becoming violent.

*Learn as much as you can about the concept of compromise

*Practice your listening skills which, by the way, are not just sitting silent and nodding.  They include active participation, questions of interest, engaged body language, and requests for clarification so you can more deeply understand what another person is saying.

*Show genuine interest in the views of others and how they came to them.  Even if you disagree.

*Pay compliments to others that are not just about looks, success, money, or accomplishments.  Tell them you loved a meal they made, or thank them for something they did, or let them know what qualities you appreciate about them.

*Let people know what you are hopeful about in life.  Do you see things will get better?  Do you have confidence in your fellow humans?  Are there signs of life you can point out to those who are discouraged?  Don't be a Pollyanna, but if you have a positive outlook, try to help the discouraged see what you see. 

Keep in mind that you are not the only one that is stress out about the way things are going right now in the United States.  However, you are a part of the solution.  By actively participating in bringing down the stress level of those around you, you actively work to bring yours down as well.

Thanks to oatsy40 for the great photo (cropped)
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Can Buddha wear a Santa Claus hat? Stress Reduction for the Holidays

Over the years I've heard an increasing number of people express how much they "don't" like the holiday season anymore.  The reasons are varied: The crowds, the expectations for expensive gifts, the capitalism and marketing, that it comes earlier and earlier each year due to mass media and retail marketing ads, dealing with difficult relatives, the alcoholism and other substance abuse, or the greed and exploitation that surrounds the holidays.

There are arguments about which religion the holiday season really belongs to, or if it should belong to a religion at all.  The celebration of this seasonal time of year has its ancestral roots in ancient celebrations of the Winter Solstice and the observations by humans of the seasons, skies and earth.  In reality, this festive time of year belongs to all of us, from all walks of life, whether we celebrate it for celestial reasons, or religious ones.

One thing we've learned from our years of knowledge about stress reduction, is that letting go of control is a major component in learning to relax, and this can't be more true during the holiday season as most of us find ourselves wanting the holidays to be only what we think they "should" be.  But "peace on earth" doesn't come when we try to control others and make them celebrate the holidays the same way we do.  Peace comes from tolerating diversity, which is a reality that the 2016 Presidential election revealed is still shockingly slow to be learned in the United States.

It's hard sometimes to keep in mind that the holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, giving, and thinking of others, not necessarily of ourselves so much.  We can each find a meaning to the holiday season, and traditional forms of celebration build memories and repetition.  We must keep in mind that many people may celebrate the holidays differently, and yes, the Buddha can wear a Santa Claus hat, just as the "birth of the son/sun" can mean more than one thing this time of year.

In allowing others to celebrate the holidays as they so choose, we also honor our right to celebrate it as we so choose, and without hate, argument, conflict and demands.  There are many minds and cultures in this world and so too, many interpretations of what this festive time of year might mean.  Perhaps one thing we might all agree on is that we want it to be a peaceful and giving time of year.

"Our ability to reach unity in diversity
will be the beauty and the test
of our civilization"
     ~Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks to Justin Mazza for the great photo - Christmas Buddha 

End of Year Stress Reduction

I once saw a video of a grizzly bear running into a river stream to catch salmon.  It was so excited about the abundance of fish that it would catch one and rush back to shore with it, get it half eaten, and then notice another fish in the water, at which point it would drop the one it had and rush back in the water to get the next one.  Then it would do the same with the next fish and before you knew it, the bear had two or three fish going at once and was actually missing out on the full experience of eating each one because it was so distracted by wanting them all.

Reaching the end of the year can be a bit like that as we may barely get our holiday gifts open and our year-end events complete, before we see more awaiting us when the calendar turns at midnight on December 31st.

The end of the year can be peaceful and rewarding, especially if you've had a good year and have many things to be thankful for.  But it can also be very stressful as well.

Some see December 31st, not as a time for celebration, but worry and panic about what has not been finished for the year and the looming tasks pressing for attention, such as setting new goals and the coming need to file taxes and start the new year on an uncluttered note.

First things first!  It's important to finish what you're doing first so as not to miss it completely.  In other words, you can't be mindful about finishing the year if your thoughts are already "not present", but ruminating about the future.

Staying on one task at a time is not only important, it's all you can do really.  Anyone who tells you it's possible to mindfully do more than one task at a time is eating one fish and eyeing another at the same time, and missing out on both. 

Think about this.  If you spend the moments between Christmas Day and New Years Day worrying about the new year, then you miss all the moments in between.  The end of December never happens because you aren't present to experience it.

Allow yourself to enjoy the end of the year and savor the fish you have.  When the new year arrives, you'll know it, and it's then that you can go after more fish.

Thanks to Harald Deischinger for the great photo

Making a Relaxing Holiday

The Holiday season is a time for cheer and celebration, but it can also be a great time of stress for many.

On this Christmas Day you may find yourself picking up wrapping paper and looking at a house turned upside down by the joy of gift giving and visiting relatives.  That's why it's all the more important to take some time to re-energize.

Little things on this special day can help you find the energy you need to make it through the final visits, farewells and clutter clearing.  Here are some ideas:

1.  Relish that morning cup of tea or coffee by making it a mindful moment.  Focusing just on the warmth of the cup, the flavor, the visual of the steam coming up from the surface.

2.  Notice the traditional aromas around you that you may not smell again until next year.  The smell of the pine tree, candles and even seasonal foods that are only cooked this time of year.

3.  Savor your time with relatives that may not be seen again for 6 to 12 months.

4.  Don't forget to fit in your daily meditation, even if you have to fit it in just before bed or in the early morning before your guests awake.

5.  Sing holiday songs that are only fitting once every twelve months.  Put in a CD or find some of the nice music online.

6.  Savor your time off from work while it's here.  Hang out by the tree and take in the joy of your holiday decorations since they will not be up again for an entire year.

**Laugh!

Thanks to Shimelle Laine for her great holiday photo