Calm Among Chaos: Preparing for Stressful Events

For all of us, life will have moments of stress.  In fact, it would be unrealistic to believe that any of us could ever have a completely stress free life, because even positive events, such as births, holidays, and even weddings are full of stress related concerns.  So foreseeing the arrival of stressful events can help us prepare for good self-care for the duration of any event that requires a higher level of endurance for our body and mind.

Most often we are able to see the coming arrival of an event that we know will require more of our time and energy, and it's at these times that special attention needs to be paid to giving extra effort to everything from good nutrition and sleep schedules, all the way to gentle exercise and proper hydration.

Taking a good inventory of all the ways you tend to neglect yourself during stress can help you to make a check list of things to keep close in mind in order to perform good self care when a special, or unplanned event is entering your life and raising anxiety.

Do you tend to forget to eat when stressed?  Or maybe forget to take in enough water?  Maybe you stay up too late focused on projects related to your stressful event and end up with fatigue that only hinders stress all the more.  Sometimes we can work for prolonged hours on projects and forget to take breaks or stand up to stretch, and this only leads to even more stress in the body.  Or maybe your Achilles' heel is that you have poor time management and tend to end up with a lot of unfinished bits to a project that only increases stress all the more.  

Knowing yourself and your tendencies during stress can help to prepare a plan of good self-care when you know stressful events are coming up on the schedule.  So building your self care right into the hectic schedule has got to be top priority.

Here are some ideas to help you prepare when you know a stressful event is coming:

• Schedule your meal times for the duration of the event and stick to them faithfully
• Make sure the nutrition you take in is healthy and helpful to fuel your body for the duration of the stressful situation
• Plan to carry hydration with you at all times
• Set scheduled times to go to bed and use mindfulness breathing exercises to prevent a wandering mind
• Limit the hours you will work each day on your stressful event and stick to the time frames
• Take breaks to go walk, move, stretch, exercise and get away from the technical tasks
• Avoid unhealthy coping behaviors during the stress such as alcohol or other substances, but also other kinds of addictions that can surface during stress, such as spending, over-eating, gambling, and other similar types of poor coping styles.

Since we can be guaranteed that there will be stressful events in life, the basic summary is to know yourself well and how best to help yourself cope during these stressful events when they arise in your life.

"To experience life does not mean that your life is always blissful.  It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of hectic life."  Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD.(Author of My Stroke of Insight)

Thanks to Water Alternatives Photos for the great photo https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/

Walking Meditation

Meditation comes in many forms.   From guided voice meditation, to silent sitting.  There is moving meditation such as Qigong and Tai Chi, and a form of meditation that works well for those who find it too difficult to sit still for any length of time--That is, walking meditation.

Walking meditation is frequently used between rounds of seated meditation in order to help stretch the body and give it a little break before returning to the meditation mat to sit some more.

However, you can use walking meditation in many different ways.  Some find it relaxing and centering to take a break from their busy work day to go to a park and walk the paths, or through the grass, to get a little more focused on the present moment.

Walking meditation can also be used as a way to move the body, yet stay focused on just one thing, such as the sound of the birds as you walk among the trees or just the sound of water if you are walking near a fountain or stream.

You can also practice synchronizing your breath with the walk.  Counting "one" as you breath in while stepping with the left foot, and "two" as you exhale and step with the right.  Or if you want a faster pace, you can count "one" to inhale as you take several steps, and count "two" for the next several steps.  You can also place complete focus and attention on the placement of the foot.  Heel, toe... heel, toe... while working to not allow any thoughts or distractions to draw attention away from this mindful task.

You don't have to force yourself to do a meditation that is not comfortable for you.  Buddha was meditating in a reclined position when he died.  Perhaps you've seen the statue of him lying on his side called the "Reclining Buddha".  Some people who find it difficult to sit up during meditation will practice that way (i.e., lying down), and their task is to not fall asleep, but to stay awake and mindful.

So it's the same with walking meditation.  If you choose a moving meditation rather than a sitting, or still meditation (such as standing meditation), the task is always the same...to train the mind to remain present and completely aware.

Thanks to World Peace Initiative for the great photo

Post 2016 Election Stress Reduction

The 2016 campaign and election was one of the most stressful in American history.

Hopefully, I can write this blog without revealing which candidate I was cheering for.  The main thing, is to help YOU with your post election stress.

Whether you voted for one candidate or the other, most likely your stress level was high, as it was for most Americans.

Post election stress, is also high among folks within both of the main parties, as well as the smaller outlier parties.  It doesn't matter if you voted for Hillary or Trump, you most likely were scared, confused, hopeful at some point, and totally surprised in the end.

So what do you do now?

Well, if you are a Trump supporter--unless you live in a dominantly Republican state--you most likely are frequently hiding that you voted for him.  Witnessing the many people around you who are angry and upset that their candidate, Hillary Clinton, did not win, is upsetting.  Especially if it is friends or family members who you can't even talk to about your glee and celebration.  Maybe you've even had doubt about whether you did the right thing or not.  You might also feel confused that many of those who disagree with you consider you now to be a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, and white-supremacists.

If you had hoped that Hillary would win, you are most likely suffering from what many other Hillary supporters feel, which is a combination of shock, sadness, fear, anger, disgust, and depression at what seems to be a realization that so many Americans seem to still carry so much prejudice and hate in their hearts.  You might worry that--as has been reported--you might be the victim of post-election bullying, prejudice, hate crimes like misogyny or attacks on gays and lesbians, or accused of just whining and not being able to accept the outcome.

One of the things many of us can agree on is that we would like to come together now that the election is over.  If you can't stand that Trump won, it's important to remember that not all Trump supporters are hate mongers.  And if you were a Trump supporter, the burden might be on your shoulders now to prove to others that you are not a hate monger.

So how do we deal with the stress of this outcome?

Nothing feeds open wounds more than poor winners, or poor losers.  Many of us were taught that when we competed in sports in school, it was appropriate to shake the hands of those we just beat or lost to.  In addition, debate education taught us all to graciously listen to those who have views that differ from our own, and to politely acknowledge what it is we agree on with our debate opponents.  Disagreeing does not mean dominance and demeaning other people who disagree with us.

We all want to do good in the world, but sometimes we disagree on what "good" is.  We differ in our religious and philosophical views, but that doesn't mean we need to fight with each other, be disrespectful or violent with one another, or call one another names. 

Sit down today and take a deep inventory of your thoughts and feelings.  Have you already begun to demonize those with views that oppose your own?  Are you calling them names like "whiners, hate mongers, racists, or babies"?  Think about how these titles and views will never bring us back together as a nation.

It's important to exercise a high dose of empathy right now.  A means of getting inside the head and perception of those that disagree with us, and seeing the world from their mind-set.  It does not mean we agree with them!  It simply means we are making an effort to see how they view the world so we can come to the table in decent conversation, and not arguing with hate in our hearts.

Take into consideration three views which you are at least willing to try to see from those who disagree with you.  Then, try it without rushing in to defend your own view.  Seriously TRY to see your opponents view without arguing about it.  It does not mean you agree with them, you simply say... if I were in your head, I can see how you see it that way.

All we can do at this point is try our best to improve our communication skills as much as possible.  Brainstorm to see where we are willing to bend or be flexible, because compromise means we all have to give a little.  Polarization only gets worse when we can't compromise or meet others half-way.

Thank you to Beverly & Pack for the great photo of the Peace Flag

Tai Chi for Relaxation

Finding various ways to relax has become one of the most sought after activities of the century.  There are healthy ways to relax and unhealthy ways.  We’ve all witness the unhealthy ways and maybe even experienced them first-hand, such as excessive use of alcohol or drugs, idleness on the computer with video games and surfing the net, or excessive spending.

Healthy ways of relaxation require a little more patience, but bring with them the long term reward of reduced stress.  That’s why learning an art such as Tai Chi is well worth one's time and effort.  It takes diligence, but like any good skill, it’s best to keep in mind that the art of Tai Chi is never really complete.  Instead, it's a life-time of refinement and a reflection of one's impermanence and intimate connection to the universe itself.

Tai Chi has been called a moving meditation.  It's slow and mesmerizing movement comes from the present-moment practice of mindfulness.  It has its roots deeply planted in Taoism--roughly, a spiritual and philosophical belief in one's connection to all things--especially to nature.

There are classes offered at many local recreation centers, including the North Jeffco Community Rec Center in Arvada Colorado.  You can find info about current classes at my website at www.qigongstudioofcolorado.com.  Be prepared to arrive with a Beginner's Mind, which simply means you begin with no expectations about what Tai Chi should be.  Emptying your mind of all concepts allows for new learning.  If your mind is too full and overflowing with ideas, there's simply no room for new lessons.

Until then, here are two of my favorite online videos of Tai Chi at it's best, and I think you will find them overall breath-takingly beautiful and relaxing to watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWiLG-Lkki4 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh3RM1mvzeE

Thanks to Tetsushi Klmura for the great photo -- Tai Chi Chuan

Coping with Stressful News Events

As I write this blog entry, the world is absorbing the newest story of another mass shooting in the United States.  Considered the worst mass shooting in US history—the event at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando Florida, has once again shocked and stunned us all.  As with Columbine and the “Theater Shootings”, the media is rushing to cover the stories and bring us ongoing updates about the event.  Our hearts go out to the victim’s families, to the first responders, to the businesses that will be affected, closed, or those that may live in fear of copy-cat offenders, and to our community which has shown great strength and determination over the years to maintain pride and hard-fought-for rights.

When stories are reported of tragedy like this, or of other forms of murder, violence, pain, and of course mass killings, it can be quite stressful to listen to, especially if you are the kind of person who is mesmerized by the rapid reporting and constant flow of news that comes from “special updates” and “special reports” that may go on for hours.  Many have actually opted to not even listen to such news stories because it upsets them so much.  But we can’t close our ears and eyes to what’s happening around us in the world.  When crisis and tragedy strike, and the media is pumping our minds full of the play-by-play, gory details and play-backs of every police report and eye-witness, it’s important to have a game plan in place to limit unnecessary and repeated exposure to information, and then find positive outlets in which to send the energy generated by our fear, pain, disgust, and anger in a positive direction, where we can try to gain some sense of balance again in a sometimes confusing and unpredictable world.

First, when tragedy strikes and you’ve tuned into the TV or Internet to find out what’s going on, be sure to limit how long you are going to spend getting the basic information.  Watching the news, reading a few versions of the story, and possibly noting the basic photos among the media should be enough for you to get the basic story and details.  One thing you don’t want to do is stay tuned in to a non-stop bombardment of stories for hours on end of what they know now--that they also knew an hour ago, and an hour before that.

Second, don’t go to the other extreme of isolating yourself from the information completely.  We cannot hide from the reality of the world and doing so leaves us at risk of being a part of the crowd that never learns from tragedy because we refuse to experience our tiny part in it and learn the lessons it has to offer.  Get the stories and basic information, limit the time exposure you will allow for hearing repeated stories, and then let yourself begin to process the information.

Finally, once you’ve had some time away from the repeated media stories, you can processes how you feel and what you think of the information you have in order to decide what it means to you personally, what lesson or lessons it holds for you, and most importantly, what positive action you plan to take to make a difference in the world based on these conclusion.  For instance, as I type this, hundreds have lined up at various locations in Orlando to donate blood needed to help all the surviving victims of this most recent shooting.

Maybe you know a friend, neighbor or acquaintance in the community you can call or email to give your support, rather than sitting in front of hours more of upsetting news or just shaking your head believing it’s someone else out there that will do the comforting.  This is how we get out of our heads, where all the thoughts are swirling that lead to increased stress and anxiety.  

In the end, take positive steps to move forward and take part in making change in the world. Tragedies will continue to come.  How you react to them may make a big difference in your level of stress and anxiety

                  It was Gandhi who said, “Be the Change You want to see in the World”.

Thanks to  James Hill for the great photo - Pride